The bright side of a Moon
The following are the top ten downsides to the thinness of the MacBook Air:
With Mitt Romney’s lie-about-anything robotic charm, and Mike Huckabee’s open desire to make America a narrow-minded theocracy, in the interest of political theater I’m hereby rooting for a Mitt/Mike ticket for the Republican race for the presidency!
Romney/Huckabee ’08! The most un-electable candidates ever!
FADE IN: Backstage at The Moscone Center, shortly after the 2008 Macworld Expo Keynote. Intel CEO Paul S. Otellini is striding through a hallway with his subordinates, laughing and happy. He walks into a room past a large security guard, sits down. An aide hands him a bottled water, while another one sets down a new MacBook Air and opens it up.
SFX: C&C Music Factory’s “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” plays.
Otellini pulls his iPhone out of his pocket, which is the source of the music, glances at the screen to see who is calling. He smiles, then slides his finger across the screen to answer the call.
Otellini: Sir Howard! How pleasant to hear from you!
CUT TO: The glossy black office of Sony Corporation of America CEO Sir Howard Stringer. He is talking on speaker phone and surrounded by stone-faced subordinates. Stringer is red-faced, standing and leaning on the table.
Stringer: (Yelling) How could you do this? Not only are they getting faster processors, but you… you… made them smaller?
CUT TO: Otellini’s room.
Otellini: (logging in to his MacBook Air) Yes, we did. On both counts.
Stringer: (v.o.) And then you stood there while Jobs compared their new laptop to our top of the line Vaio?
Otellini: Yes. Just so.
Stringer: (after a pause) But why? Why did you do that for Apple and not for us?
Otellini: Quite simply, you didn’t ask.
Otellini launches Safari, then puts Stringer on speakerphone and places the iPhone on the table. He continues to type and click on the MacBook Air.
Otellini: They really are marvelous machines, Sir Howard.
SFX: An inarticulate scream of rage erupts from the iPhone
Otellini startles at the sound, grimaces, then scoops up the iPhone and hands it without looking to a subordinate. He goes back to his web-surfing. Subordinate pushes the red “END CALL” button.
Otellini: (softly) Yes, marvelous machines.
We interrupt Keynote Day! to bring you new news!
Via Wil Wheaton comes news of a reunion of the principals of the old Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew, in a new, but strangely familiar, venture, called “Cinematic Titanic”, where silhouettes and shadows mock a really bad movie. Only now they’re internet-powered and open-sourced and coming directly at ya, indie-style.
Circulate the tapes files!
It’s Keynote Day!
The happiest, or saddest, or most upsetting, day of a Mac fan’s life.
Will Steve announce something as awesome as the iPhone?
Or will he just talk about minor updates to the product line and walk off stage, not having “one more thing” to talk about?
Or… shudder… will the giant head of a bespectacled uncool nerd loom over the crowd, scaring them to the depths of their Converse Hi-Tops?
Which will it be? Delight, boredom, or fear?
Nobody knows! It’s Keynote Day!
I’ve made my predictions. Now we wait to see how wrong, or right, I was…
Keynote!
I rarely listen to the radio, but this morning I was returning a FlexCar and happened to catch Greg on KNRK teasing about trying to convince Radiohead to come to Portland on their 2008 “In Rainbows” tour. The band has announced the cities (but not the dates or venues) of the tour, and sadly, no Portland visit is planned. Even the Mercury thinks that’s bogus.
Greg’s plan is to get as many people as possible to vote via email by sending a note to PortlandWantsRadiohead@gmail.com. He’s hoping for 25,000. Here’s my little bit to bring up the numbers…
What? I meant blogging this. That’s my little bit. I don’t work for the station. I just think that Thom and the boys could stop by my city, considering the last time I saw them live (OK, the only time) I drove all the way to Coachella and risked heat stroke in the desert to hear them live. Totally worth it, but, y’know, it’s their turn to come to my city.
My weekend long run: three and a half miles in 40 minutes.
I’m so out of shape.
Started out too fast, by which mean my previous normal running pace, and warmed up too fast in the first half-mile. Kept a decent pace for another mile and a half, then had frequent walking breaks the rest of the time.
I did it, though. Feels like starting over again.
I added some (OK, five) of my pictures from Cancún to my Flickr page. Feel free to comment and marvel.
Saw “Sweeney Todd” today with Athena, who awesomely showed up even though she’s still obviously under the weather. Take care of yourself! Rest up ‘n’ stuff.
I loved the movie, but I’m an uncritical fanboy when it comes to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. I’ve said I would watch Depp read a software EULA for two hours. “Sweeney Todd” was far more entertaining than that. It’s a closely constructed tale swiftly told, and Burton’s direction and visual style is a perfect fit. The story has what Kevin calls a “button” ending. I’m not giving anything away, am I?
Yes, there’s blood. Bright red cartoon blood. Be warned.
If they mass-produced these, I bet every single geek in the world would buy one.
Star Trek Bluetooth Communicator
This is the only working Star trek communicator in existence. It’s a one of a kind prototype. You can use it to make and recieve calls with any bluetooth 1.1 compatible mobile phone. It does not require wires
Sadly, the auction at eBay is gone – perhaps Paramount stepped in and erased it due to draconian copyright laws? Sad.
