Category: General

…but I just did anyway. I volunteered to help with the Stumptown Comics Fest, coming up at the end of September, the 29th and 30th.

I don’t know why I did it. Just a desire to get out of the house, meet fellow geeks, and not be home alone. We’ll see how that works out.

Regarding my previous post, Irishfarmer (who is apparently called Phil) responded to my question. It’s a long answer so I won’t excerpt it, at the risk of mis-representing his views. Just passing it along.

Also, I meant no offense for the title of my post; in my effort to be succinct I may have left out an important caveat; Irishfarmer/Phil is attacking those he sees as “fundamentalist” or “militant” atheists.

My last word on the topic for now is that it appears Irishfarmer/Phil and I will likely have to agree to disagree.

Poking around the internet, I discovered a young man calling himself “Irishfarmer” blogging his attack against atheism. Being an atheist myself, I decided to read through some of his articles and see what his position is. It quickly became clear to me. For two brief examples, check out Irishfarmer on the Problem of Evil:

“Why is the argument from evil still used by atheists? It causes a paradox. If evil disproves God, then God does not exist, but then evil cannot exist and you therefore have no evil to put into the argument from evil. Also, this causes you to have to defend the assertion of a universal negative: There is no purpose or reason for evil that can be morally justified by God.

or:

“Atheists generally hold the positive belief that there are no absolute morals. Which is a positive belief in a universal negative. This isn’t like their so-called “lack of belief in God”, they literally believe that universal morals do not exist, no questions asked. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily argue them on this point, though maybe you’d want to. Its not too hard, just ask them if the holocaust was morally wrong. You’ll usually see some of the most amazing feats of mental gymnastics you could dream up. Its basically a playground for anyone who knows how to debate cogently.”

Irishfarmer appears to insist that absolute morals exist separately from human conception. This is a dualist philosophical position, and is tied to the idea that the mind, or mental processes, are somehow non-physical in nature – with God being the ultimate expression of mind. In other words, it’s a supernatural philosophy. It’s of the same mold as the Platonic ideal, which suggested that there is some kind of “higher” reality above the material world we see around us.

Irishfarmer’s insistence on absolute morals leads him to conclude that anyone who does not believe in absolute morality, anyone who does not believe that Good and Evil are universal and timeless concepts that are not subjective or defined by human minds (in other words, that Good and Evil are defined by God), well, a person who denies that is unable to argue the goodness or evilness of any human action.

There might not be much room for he and I to come to any agreement since, by definition, any supernatural phenomenon are unable to be detected by natural processes or tools, like science or logic. But Irishfarmer’s dismissal of human definitions of good or evil, not to mention the human consequences that adhere to any action, whether it be defined as “good” or “evil”, seems to me to be a flaw of observation.

So I wrote to him, hoping to clarify this point and possibly bring to his attention what I consider to be a blind spot in his argument. I wrote as follows:

From: me
To: Irishfarmer@gmail.com
Date: Sep 1, 2007 9:56 PM
Subject: Question regarding absolute morality

I stumbled on your site today and read some of your more recent posts. Thought I’d say hello, and also see if I can clarify in my own mind your stance, in particular your idea of an absolute morality.

If I’m understanding you correctly, you argue from the position that there is an absolute morality that exists separately from human conceptions of “good” or “evil”, “right” or “wrong”, and that anyone who does not accept this absolute morality is unable to muster any effective argument against human evil (or argue for any human good), because others might have a different conception of evil.

Is that correct?

I continue on the assumption that I have stated your position correctly. Feel free to correct me if I have mistaken it.

My question for you would be simply this: when faced with humans acting evilly (or good, for that matter), why would you assert that a human conception of morality is inadequate?

What’s wrong with a human conception of morality? Why is that inadequate to address human evil or good?

Yes, there may be people that argue that the German National Socialists’ actions against the Jews, Gypsies, Christians, gays, etc., during World War II was simply a “cultural” or “social” matter. But anyone who makes that assertion would still face the human consequences of their ideas, and their actions. They would face social, legal, and psychological consequences, here in the real world, when other people became aware of them.

I admit it may be frustrating (in the least) or sorrowful (at the extreme) if those human consequences don’t result in preventing unnecessary death or suffering, but often, and in the long term, human actions are enough to cause a change. For instance, Germany, along with it’s allies, did in fact lose the Second World War, and faced the consequences thereof.

I look forward to your response!

…and I wait for a response. It’s been about a day and a half, not a long time by any means, though Irishfarmer has posted several long posts since I sent my email. At any rate, I hope to hear back from him.

Regarding my previous post, it does not appear that my web stats automatically updated.

Since I was up, I checked. It hadn’t run. I ran it manually.

I’ll work on it tomorrow. G’night.

I did some stuff behind the scenes.

I think I’ve got the web stats page to update every night just after midnight. I had to learn about launchd, Apple’s utility for running background processes. If I did it right. I won’t know until midnight (or later). Once I’m sure it’s running, I can start using that process for other things, like nightly backups ‘n’ stuff.

I also finally fixed the contact page, so all y’all can… uh… contact me. I wonder if my broken contact page is the reason I didn’t get an invite to the KATU Blogger Meetup last week? Damn. My bad.

I made some minor changes to my “about me and my site” page, too.

I installed Webalizer, which is the same web stats software that Caleb was using. So now I can see basic usage statistics for my site.

I still have to set up a cron job to update the stats on a regular basis, but the hard part is done.

That’s two more things I can check off my new to-do list.

I’m so unmotivated.

If you looked up “unmotivated” in the dictionary, you’d find a placeholder that said “Brian didn’t even bother to submit a picture for this entry. Why bother?”

I finally watched the latest episode of “The Pickup Artist” (my latest guilty pleasure) last night.

This week’s lesson was kissing.

Mystery actually brought in two female friends for the guys to practice with.

Now that’s quality teevee.

I walked through the lobby of the Mission Theater. I was leaving, probably not for the last time, but for the last time watching Firefly at the Mission… or at least the last TV episode. One more night, a week from now, to watch the capstone, “Serenity”.

My first night here, I felt alone and lonely. Tonight, I felt the warmth of new friendships, but still lonely. Would I see these new friends after this was all done? I know I would try, and I know from experience that trying isn’t always enough.

I heard low music and I looked at the boy in black lounging on the stairs. “Are you humming the theme song?” I asked.

He looked surprised, like he hadn’t realized it. “I am!”

I laughed, and opened the doors into the street. More fans, people with whom I shared one good thing, standing, talking. The non-iPhone girl, was she here? I didn’t see her, until I looked across the street, and saw her running away, with a friend. I knew I should have seized the moment when I had it.

Is that all we get? Moments in time, brief sparks of happiness, or potential happiness, and if we can’t grab hold they slip away. It feels like it, walking back to my car, having said my goodbyes to my new friends, “until next week”.

I keep looking for the key, the one thing, the secret that’s going to unlock the universe and lay bare and naked all the mysteries I’ve been observer to for over four decades. What’s the secret? Is it to take every opportunity? How likely is that? Most times I don’t even know it’s an opportunity until after the fact, after it’s gone.

I drive my rented car home, and when I see the neon lights and the blue-and-white striped building, I pull into the parking lot, narrowly missing being hit by a stretch Hummer limo pulling away. I walk in, and it’s dead. The strippers are lounging on the bars, talking to the customers. There’s not enough money for booty-shaking. I spot Sharai, chewing gum, talking to some kid. Even though I can feel my body still processing the beer I shared at the Mission, I order another one, get a pile of one dollar bills, as if I’m going to stay even longer.

I can tell I’m not going to stay long, though.

The scruffy chubby guys are flirting with the beautiful nearly-naked women. The waitresses are joking with the bouncers. I approach the bar where Sharai sits, bored, both of us bored and looking for something new.

I toss some money. She comes by to trade her attention and looks for my cash. I joke about being sad for the end of Firefly, but the joke is that I really am sad. She nods, not really caring. But it’s not her job to care. I’m the one that’s passionate about finding something sharp to pierce the membrane of lassitude and bring something new to my life.

Sometimes, when the door closes, it just closes and you’re left standing there. No new door opens. No windows give a new view.

Sharai ends her set and leaves to sit with another girl who’d been there before me. Loyalty like that should be rewarded. I bid her no ill will but I still feel sad and lonely. I don’t have the energy to push my way in and join them.

I look around the club and see very little energy among my fellow travelers. A lazy dance on the stage, same old moves. A tired pull of the beer tap. A customer barely receiving a perfunctory lap dance. Bouncers at the door, nearly asleep.

I set my beer down, half-finished, and walk out to my car. Nothing new here. It feels like another ending. I don’t have the means to make it all fun right now, might as well end my day.

Maybe my search for the key is doomed to failure because there is no key. There’s no one thing that’s going to make every situation work. I have energy when I do something different, and maybe something that works one time isn’t going to work again the next time, because each situation is more different than it is the same, and differences are the key. Novelty is the key. Chaos is the key. Anarchy, zigging when most folk zag. Do something different.

Is leaving different? It feels like I’m always leaving but that might just be in my head. It can’t always be ending because I’m still here. I haven’t finished yet.

I walk in the dark apartment.

I’m the only living boy in Sellwood tonight.

I don’t even turn on the light. I know where everything is. I can see the soft fade-in and -out of the white light of my laptop.

I push the “any” key and the screen lights up. I check my email. Yay, a post from Christi. And… what’s this?

An email? A response? I sent a reply to a Craigslist ad days ago, and gave up hope of hearing back. I’m tired of sending out replies, like sending out resumes that never become interviews. And she replied.

My subject line was “I don’t know how to stand out in the crowd”

Her response was “I don’t know – but you did.” She wants to call. She wants to talk to me.

How is it that life can feel so sad and empty one moment, and then, with just the tiniest change, feed me the smallest morsel of attention, and it’s all worth it? I’ve been here before, having gotten an response, and I know from experience that responses hardly ever turn into face-to-face meetings, and those meetings hardly ever turn into dates, and let’s not even talk about how rare friendships or relationships are from these humble beginnings.

I’ve been here before, but this moment, this one brief second of potential, feels… good. I’m going to savor it and try not to invest too much in its blossoming.

Sometimes the key is just in holding on for one more second. I haven’t finished… yet.

Not tonight.

Apparently someone found, guessed, or cracked my MySpace password. I just checked it, and there was a bulletin… from me… that was spam. A bulletin that I did not post.

That sucks. That’s like coming home to find that not only was my apartment broken in to, they also found my [potentially embarrassing but harmless evidence of a personal quirk], too.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Brian has a MySpace page?!” Ugh. I do.