Month: October 2007

My family does Christmas right. Most years, for the past, oh, decade or more, we fly away to some tropical location and bake in the sun and get drunk.

We don’t have to give presents to each other, and we leave it to Santa to take care of the kids. The vacation is present enough.

Last year we went to New York City. Not tropical. Had a great time, anyway, but I really missed swimming in the warm blue Caribbean Ocean on Christmas Eve, nicely plastered and tan and happy and surrounded by my family. In the past we’ve gone to Mexico (several times) and Hawaii and Aruba (I didn’t get to go to Aruba).

And this year is a traditional (our tradition) Christmas. I just booked my flight and hotel reservation.

I fly out of Portland on Saturday, December 22nd, early, and arrive that afternoon in sunny Cancún, Mexico, on the Yucatan Peninsula, the Las Vegas of Mexico, where I will be staying 13 nights at the Blue Bay All Inclusive Resort.

Yeah, that rocks. You can commence envying me now.

My sister, her husband, their two kids, and her mother-in-law, will be staying at the Blue Bay All Inclusive Family resort, on the north beach. What’s the difference? Well, for starters, there’s topless beaches and pools at the one I’m staying at. But I will still be spending time with the family. It’s still a Christmas trip, after all!

I should be down to the mid-160s in weight by then… maybe I’ll get my back waxed. Want to look good on the beach…

Went to bed early last night. Laid out my clothes – even pre-attached the ChampionChip timing chip to my shoe, and pre-pinned my bib number to my shirt.

Yep. I was ready for the Run Like Hell 5K this morning.

I didn’t dress up. I think about a third of the runners had some sort of costume on. I wore a thin long-sleeved green tech shirt with a black short-sleeved tech shirt over, shorts, a cap, and my Brooks Adrenaline 6 (the ones with MoGo). No music – I was serious. A snack of a cup of yogurt just to get my engine running and I went out to the bus stop.

Weather was good – around 50° F, no rain, a little wind. After yesterday’s downpour it felt good.

Maybe I should have brought the music, though. I think the mile markers weren’t set up right. I didn’t hit the first mile marker until almost 11:00 from when I crossed the starting line. I felt way faster than that. Then the next mile was uphill the entire way, and I hit the 2 mile sign at under 19:20 – which would have meant I ran uphill at at 8:30 pace or so. I was keeping basically the same pace!

Since I was doing so well by mile 2, I decided to push a bit until the end. That was made easier by being essentially downhill the whole way. When I turned off of Front Ave. onto Taylor again, and I could see the finish line, I felt good and did not look at my watch.

So I was disappointed when I saw the official clock showing 30:00 already. I knew that there was about 30-45 seconds difference between gun time and my chip time, but, damn. I stopped my watch as I crossed the line and it showed 29:45 – a 9:45 pace or so.

I hung around afterward to check out the costumes, and was still there when they posted the official results: 29:47 for me. Fuck. I’m trying to be positive and all but I was sure I’d done better than that!

There’ll be other races. I showed up and I gave it what I had in me for today.

I made it from my front door in SE Portland, all the way to Fit Right NW (where packet pick-up for tomorrow’s Run Like Hell 5K was taking place), without a car, and only having to walk a total of 7 short blocks and wait at a bus stop or train stop for a total of 12 minutes.

That’s pretty cool! I was not as lucky on the return trip, but I had warm, dry clothes and hot coffee waiting for me.

Some links from the past week you might have missed:

• Radiohead’s downloadable album, “In Rainbows” may have pulled in between US$6 million and US$10 million, according to The Seminal, via Eliot Van Buskirk over at the Wired blog. The average price paid per album appears to be between US$5 and US$8 per download.
• I want to wear a Mohawk toupee. Someday.
• Via kottke comes the story of two auto enthusiasts who have broken the unofficial Cannonball Run record for driving from New York City to Los Angles: 31 hours, 4 minutes. They were inspired by a movie that should be familiar to my family and friends, of a morning rendezvous in Paris.
• OYG! Time Bandit map! I want one!
• Dustin Rowles at Pajiba speculates on what came next in a whole slew of romantic comedies and made me laugh.
  

  Sure, sure — saving Buttercup from an Evil Prince bought him a few years of unconditional affection, years in which she tolerated Westley’s loutish ways (he never lifted the seat in the outhouse, for instance). But she always wanted to read or talk about her feelings, while all Westley wanted to do was appreciate her “perfect breasts” and swashbuckle. Moreover, as you may recall from their initial courtship, “nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around,” and after the luster of their new relationship began to fade a little, Buttercup fell into old habits. Westley, however, stopped finding her incessant demands endearing; he just thought she was a nag (through the years, his “as you wish” grew more and more sarcastic).

  Heh. Indeed.

• I walk past the Hawthorne Strip every day on my way to and from work. Apparently so does this Richard Thruster fellow. I guess he a) works near me, b) liked his visit, c) but doesn’t like Goth-y girls. More for me, I guess.
• If fuckin’ Neil Gaiman can get lost in the trudge of writing, but sometimes finds himself flying and the words just flow… then there’s hope for me, too.

On a different topic, I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am for Senator Chris Dodd, who is putting a wrench into granting the telecoms retroactive immunity from prosecution for their participation in illegal (meaning – not conforming to law drafted by the legislative branch and untested in the judicial branch) warrantless wiretapping.

G’head and click on the link above to let Sen. Dodd know what you think, too.

Where’s Sen. Clinton’s leadership on this? Where’s Sen. Obama? Don’t even get me started on the Republicans… cowards and traitors of the Constitution, every last one.

In discussion last night with a longtime, dear friend, I was making a point of argument about Genesis, the first book of the Old Testament.

To underscore my argument, I went to the bookshelf to get my Bible. Yes, even atheists own Bibles. Mine is the New King James translation (chosen mainly for its beautiful language).

And I found, upon reading the text, that I had misremembered. It had been a while, a long while, since I had read it, and I was wrong. In fact, I made a special point of stating, “I misremembered. I was wrong,” to my friend. And the discussion moved on to other points.

I consider that an act of intellectual honesty. That’s what honest argument looks like. That’s what I value about science; the ability to admit mistakes openly and move on. In fact, science advances as much by mistakes and failed experiments and hypotheses as it does by its successes.

If I can admit when I’m wrong, is it expecting too much to hear the same from the other side once in a while?

To me, the inability of religion or faith to ever admit a mistake, the fact that no amount of evidence will sway a believer’s feelings about God, is sad commentary. Frustrating.

In fact, most often theists will use one of science’s greatest strengths (comfort with uncertainty and ability to admit mistakes) as a point of attack, as a weakness – while still never admitting any mistakes on their own part.

I will likely remain frustrated on the topic of God or religion unless and until I receive the same level of intellectual honesty that I try to bring to the discussion.

The closest response I’ve received in the past is some equivalent to “well, we’ll never agree, so maybe we’re both right!” or a statement that they themselves don’t know, but they’ll get back to me after checking with others who “know better”. Or, most often, a quick change of subject to something else.

sigh

I’ll keep trying. I know I will, for as long as I live. It’s just me. But I’m done for now. Feel free to comment but I’m off this topic for a while.

Or maybe your “feeling” about the existence of God is more like:

• …your feeling that you’re standing on solid ground? The surface of the Earth is moving at over 1,037 MPH at the equator; about half that at the 45th parallel.
• …your feeling that the Sun moves across the sky? The Sun is the central point in our solar system, due to its much larger mass compared to the satellites and planets that orbit it.
• …your feeling of happiness and satisfaction upon eating a full meal? That single meal of a Big Mac, large fries, and large Coke contains 1420 calories – more than would be burned by over an hour of hard running for most people.
• …the feeling of beauty at the twinkling of the stars in the night sky? The light from distant suns is steady; the twinkling effect is caused by shifts in the upper atmosphere.
• …the feeling that the images on the movie screen are, well, moving? Projecting a series of still images faster than the eye/brain can process them results in the illusion of a moving image due to the effect known as persistence of vision.

Sorry, but neither your “gut” nor your “heart” have a very good predictive rate. You’ll get 10 out of 10 points for poetry, but minus 1,000,000 for accuracy.

So, you believe in God because you “just feel” it to be true, no matter what?

Why not apply that same standard to the rest of your life?

Be the cop who “just feels” someone to be guilty, no matter what! (I guess it won’t matter if you plant the evidence because, hey, they’re guilty!)

Be the doctor who “just feels” someone to be healthy, no matter what! (Or ill, for that matter…)

Be the spouse who thinks their significant other is perfectly moral… no matter what. (Hope you enjoy being a cuckold.)

Be the parent who thinks their children are perfect and responsible. (We all know how the preacher’s kids turn out, don’t we?)

Be the employee who thinks their bosses are correct, no matter what (you’ll have a place in the Bush administration…)

And it’s not a coincidence that all these examples are about people believing things about other people. Who do you think benefits from your “no matter what” feeling about God? That’s right – other people.

Wake up!

Way too much to say.

Every time I sit down to write something, one thread or story or scene out of my life lately, I either ramble on and on without end, or I stop writing after just a few paragraphs because I can’t extract just a small piece out without giving the whole context for the story.

Bear with me, please. I appreciate the continued readership and I really want to give all y’all somethin’ good to read.

“I can help you here!”

I walked up to the cash register at Borders, magazine in my hand. I felt lucky – it had been a long line but I had, through random chance, gotten the cute brunette girl, instead of the large bald guy with the goatee.

“…OK,” I said with a smile, in response to her offer of help. “I’ll let you.” I moved deliberately, not too fast or slow. I placed my magazine on the counter. 2600: The Hacker Quarterly.

She smiled politely, picked up the book and scanned it. While she entered whatever information the computer required, my eyes wandered down to her breasts, under a thin t-shirt and framed by her unbuttoned sweater. Small, conical, and no bra. She must be cold.

When my eyes came back up to eye level, I saw her wriggle her nose. It was cute, like she was suppressing a sneeze.

“Your nose itches” I said. I often state the obvious. I tossed my cash on the counter.

“Yes, it does!” she said, brightly. “I –“

“Either that,” I continued, “or you’re a witch…”

She laughed. “Or maybe a bit of both.”

Oh, you’re like that, I thought. “Well, I don’t see any evidence of any spell being cast. I must be safe for now.”

“I try not to touch my face. It keeps me from getting sick.”

In that moment, I suddenly saw her as the type of girl who touches doorknobs with a napkin or tissue. Who doesn’t use public toilets. A cleanliness fanatic. She went from being a cute, if bookish, girl, to being… weird.

Why do you carry that umbrella? It’s not raining.

It keeps elephants away.

I gathered up my purchase. “…I see. Does it work?”

“Well,” she said, “I’m not sick!”

Does it work?

You don’t see any elephants, do you?