Today is my bestie’s birthday. Tracy, I hope today was your best day yet, but not your best day ever. Many more and better to come!
I was going to write about the misunderstanding that pretty much sparked Tracy and my friendship, a friendship that has lasted for more than 24 years, but it turns out I’ve already written about it, briefly, at the start of this post, back in 2007:
It’s a good post, but the focus there isn’t on Tracy, which is what it should be on her birthday.
When Tracy and I first became friends, we each admired the other’s honesty and bluntness. We quickly found out that we could safely say whatever was on our mind to each other, good or bad, and the other one would not take it the wrong way or get upset. Well, most of the time. But it was easier with each other than it was for other friendships, at least for my part.
Tracy was religious when we first met, and she might still be, but back then, to her, religious meant Christian, and specifically that weird modern American evangelicalism. It was the culture she was in, more than any kind of philosophy that she’d examined and concluded was right for her. And because of that, when she found out that I was an atheist, she was curious. She told me once that I was the first athiest she had ever known in her life. So she would ask me about it.
My memories of those conversations are fuzzy now. It’s entirely possible that I was overly proud of my rational lack of belief in God, or any gods, in a way that I would personally find insufferable if someone did that to me, today. But I liked Tracy, and we worked together, and so I worked really hard to just explain what I thought about things, and not poke Tracy’s beliefs that much. I do remember that she was surprised that I had actually read the Bible, in at least two editions, cover-to-cover. I pointed out that Christians don’t tend to read the Bible the way someone reads a novel, they study it, in sections, lead by a pastor or other authority figure, who picks out passages and explains the meaning they want the Bible Study Group to understand.
And over the years, Tracy has lost that specific kind of American Christianity worldview. I’m sure she believes there’s something out there, but she’s also aware that it’s probably not the evangelical conception of God. The world we live in is bigger than that.
I wish I could remember those conversations because those were the moments where I really got to understand Tracy. She’s got a big heart, and endless curiosity, and also a strong sense of justice. And infinite loyalty to people she sees as worthy, which, astonishingly, includes me, somehow. I’m a mess, and selfish, and weird, but she’s always got my back.
And I have hers. I would never knowingly let her down. She’s the best bestie.
If you’re reading this, take a moment to send Tracy some good thoughts. It’s not prayer, probably. Just positive vibes.
Thank you, bestie! This means SO much to me! You have NO idea! ❤️🙏
Of course! Hope you had the best day!