Super tired

Had a good day, good first week at the new job, spent some time with dad tonight.

But just super tired. Trying to think of 500 words that work together in order, along with punctuation, to make a blog post tonight, is hard. I’m literally just typing this out as a typing exercise to see how quickly I can hit 500 words. Maybe it will turn into something, maybe it’ll just take up space. Trying to turn off my inner critic and just type whatever comes to mind right now. I’ve said right now a couple of times now and part of my brain is trying to tell the rest of my brain, my sleepy tired brain, that that’s bad and I should stop. Not gonna stop, though, got a simple goal, an easy goal.

Type until the number of words is 500. Or maybe I should type it as five hundred, because that’s twice the number of words and will get me to that goal faster. In fact, I shouldn’t type contractions; I should not type contractions because this will also help me reach my goal faster. Is this making sense? You see what I’m going for here. Sorry if this isn’t entertaining, sometimes I just have to show up and let things happen without trying to make it into something good.

Every good writer I have ever heard talk about the process of writing has said that you just have to finish the story. First drafts are supposed to be bad because you can fix it when you re-write it, but you will not know what needs to be fixed until you try to tell the whole story, start to finish. I understand that advice on an intellectual level but have always had a hard time implementing it. I know, I swear I have talked about this before but hey, it’s a theme, a blog theme for me.

Gotta keep writing. Keep going.

Dan Harmon once said that if you’re feeling writer’s block because you are afraid you are going to write shit, then turn that into your motivation. Write the shittiest shit that ever was shat, just to show your dumb afraid-of-writing-shit brain that it is right. The goal then is to just get writing and once you are in the process of writing, once you have started, it will give you permission to keep going and you will see that writing anything is better than writing nothing.

Maybe I am explaining this wrong but that is how it came out. If I were to do a second pass on this blog post I would go back and fix it, or I might actually look up the exact quote and find out if it was in fact Dan Harmon who said that and not some other writer. Maybe I said that and now my brain is so tired it is refusing to believe I could say something smart like that and is instead attributing it to Dan Harmon?

Who knows, man, I am now over 500 words. I win again.

G’night.