Cynical Christmas Mix

And now, on this Day After Christmas Eves’ Eve, I present to you my Cynical Christmas Mix:

  1. Father Christmas – The Kinks
  2. Sometimes You Have To Work On Christmas (Sometimes) – Harvey Danger
  3. I’ve Got Some Presents For Santa – Sarah Taylor & Bill Mumy
  4. Fairytale of New York – The Pogues
  5. Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt
  6. Christmas Song – Adam Sandler
  7. Holiday In Cambodia – Dead Kennedys
  8. Another Auld Lang Syne – Dan Fogleberg
  9. Christmas At Ground Zero – Weird Al Yankovic
  10. Punk Rock Christmas – Sex Pistols
  11. Christmas At Ground Zero – Weird Al Yankovic
  12. I Won’t Be Home For Christmas – Blink 182
  13. A Spaceman Came Travelling – Chris De Burgh
  14. Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses
  15. So This Is Christmas – John Lennon
  16. River – Joni Mitchell
  17. Snowmiser Song – Mr. Snowmiser
  18. Heatmiser Song – Mr. Heatmiser

I’m pretty sure that all of the Seven Deadly Sins are well represented there, along with the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse. It includes a few of the saddest songs I know… Perfect for sitting at home on Christmas Eve, drinking heavily, and wrapping presents for the special ones in your life. Especially the drinking part.

I’d love to comment specifically on some of the songs, but I’ve got to run down to the corner store and pick up more mixers. Luckily I laid in a good stock of Johnny Walker Red (it’s booze in a Christmas color!) for tonight’s wrapping extravaganza…

Avoiding the bad ones

I saw a lot of movies this year. Good and not-so-good. Maybe before the end of the year I’ll post a list of all the movies I saw, with a mini-review of each. Wow, that’s a great idea. I wonder why no one’s ever thought of that before?

But this post is mainly to congratulate myself for having completely avoided every single movie on Rotten Tomatoes’ list of Top 10 Worst Movies of 2005.

And especially for having avoided the temptation to stare at Jessica Alba’s ass, but be burned by “Into the Blue” anyway. I got to see her enough this year in good movies, like “Sin City”.

Underworld: Evolution

Words… fail…

There’s a sequel to “Underworld”… due in January.

“Underworld: Evolution” (Warning: site requires Flash)

Let’s hope the fact that they didn’t have a number in the name means it’s going to be good.

And by “good” I mean lots of pictures of Kate Beckinsale in tight black leather/vinyl.

Kate in tight black leather or vinyl. It's all good.

It’s all good.

Guess I’ll have to buy the unrated version of Underworld. Y’know, just to refresh my memory…

…oh. Oh, right. Now I remember.

How long until January 20th, again…?

Mirrormask (2005)

Two words:

See MirrorMask

Need more words? Neil Gaiman’s got you covered for story.

Direction and visuals? Dave McKean’s on top of that.

Overall production? What, can’t you trust Jim Henson Productions? Sure you can. Crazy kids these days!

Did you like “Labyrinth”? Of course you did. David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly, trippy puppets, goblins and monsters. What’s not to like?

Now picture that on acid, and not the bad brown stuff, the good stuff, and imagine what could be done with CGI these days.

Oh, yeah. You want to see it now, don’t you? Don’t you?

G’wan. Get out of here. These talented folk deserve your money.

Dazzle Dogs

There’s a new restaurant near where I work. It serves upscale hot dogs, called “Dazzle Dogs”. I’ve kinda wanted to try it out, see if they’re as good as “Good Dog, Bad Dog”, but just haven’t yet. Hot dogs are normally “bleh” but when they have actual meat in them they’re not so bad.

Today I walked by there on my break, coming back from Rite-Aid to get a Diet Vanilla Coke, and the lights were off and there were signs on the door that read:

“CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS”

That’s, um, a really bad sign to hang on the door of a restaurant. I think a simple “CLOSED” or, if they had to have an explanation, “CLOSED TEMPORARILY” would have sufficed. If they plan on re-opening, they’re probably going to see a drop in business.

The owners must be new to this whole “marketing” thing…

Mmmm… Cake at The Crystal Ballroom

Mmmm… Cake.

Saw Cake at the Crystal Ballroom last night. Cake is one of my all-time favorite bands (I’m a blogger, I can use superlatives like that) and I’ve been waiting to see them live for a long time. Last time they were in Portland, tickets could only be had by calling in to the local “alternative” radio station, so, yeah, I was out of luck. I may have emailed the band and told them that they’d better get their asses back to Portland so that fans who don’t have the spare time to sit around calling a local radio station to snag tickets to see them, could see them.

The opening act was two guys calling themselves The Punk Group (warning: site requires Flash Ugh). Good, local, sounded kinda like Devo. In fact, they had distinctive black t-shirts, black hats, black wristbands and white sunglasses, giving them the near-conformity of look that Devo had. Their lyrics were hilarious.

Cake, on the other hand, don’t have a conformity of anything. They were late to the stage, where a crowded, sweaty house was resorting to chanting “We want Cake! We want Cake!” and even booing after a bit when they still didn’t show. Finally the band took the stage at 10:25. But once they were up on stage, all previous asshattery was forgotten.

Later, after a couple of songs, McCrea said, “Cake isn’t very professional in at least one way…” to which I shouted (but probably wasn’t heard) “Yeah! You were late!” but it turned out that he was referring to their lack of a set list. “It makes us feel like a damned jukebox,” he said, and the crowd started shouting out requests. “Don’t tell us what to do!” he admonished the audience. “We play what we feel like!” To which the fans responded with a cheer. Anyone who likes Cake likes every single song so anything they felt like playing was met with cheers.

The lead singer, John McCrea, struck me with an odd presence on stage. Distracted, distant… the more I think about it, much like the band’s music, which is also ironic and detatched.

I danced. Wow. I didn’t care who saw me. I danced, I pogoed, I sang along, I participated in the audience-participation sections, like the men vs. women singing on “No Phone” from their new album “Pressure Chief”. I had a great time.

Highlight of Cake’s set was John McCrea, lead singer, dedicating the following song to “FEMA, New Orleans, and George W. Bush”, giving a new twist to the lyrics:

You part the waters,
The same ones that I’m drowning in.
You lead your casual slaughters,
And I’m the one who helps you win.

You’ve got your grand piano.
You don’t even play piano.
I’m the one who plays piano.
You don’t even play piano.

You part the waters,
The same ones that I’m thirsty for.
You invite your friends to tea,
But when it’s me you lock the door.
You’ve got your credit cards,
And you thank your lucky stars.
But don’t forget the ones who foot the bill.

You’ve got your grand piano.
And you don’t even play piano.
I’m the one who plays piano.
You don’t even play piano,
But you part the waters.

Mr. McCrea also had a rant about not being able to buy beer on a Sunday in South Bend, Indianapolis, Indiana (yes, he made the mistake of calling the state “Indianapolis”) and turned it into a plea for further separation of church and state, and bemoaned the demise of 3/4 rhythm in popular music, which turned into an introduction to “Mexico”.

If I find a full set list for the show, I’ll post it. Nothing’s shown up yet on the internets (but I’m sure it’s out there).

Harvey Danger at The Crocodile

I shouldn’t have waited so long to blog my Saturday trip to Seattle. I’m sure I’m going to leave out something. As it is, this looks to be a fairly long post.

I did put up all the pictures I took while up there. Yeah, all eight of them. I wanted to take a bunch in the Science Fiction Museum but they didn’t allow cameras. Bummer. Guess y’all will have to go see it yourselves. It’s worth it.

But I’m ahead of myself. The main reason I went was to see Harvey Danger play. They have a third album coming out in a month, “Little by Little”, and have started doing shows to promote it. I saw them last December, but didn’t get to see the whole set due to freakin’ traffic from Hell. This time, I wouldn’t make that same mistake. Although I did end up having a lot of time to kill due to poor reasoning…

I got up fairly early for a Saturday and picked up a FlexCar. I got a Toyota Prius… yeah, the “hybrid” electric/gas-powered car. Turns out it did OK on the highway. A little bit underpowered but cruised along at 75 MPH just fine. I think I took a hybrid last time, too… but the Honda Civic Hybrid.

Oh, yeah, and I ran before leaving this time, too, about 6 miles worth of treadmill and elliptical trainer speedwork. But I stretched well after and there was a couple of hours before I sat down for the 3+ hour drive north… Had breakfast at the Skybox, a sports bar in my neighborhood I’d never tried. I was lured in by the menu item “Cinnamon Bread French Toast”.

Mmmmm. Let me pause for a moment and savor the memory of Cinnamon Bread French Toast. Ah.

The Skybox is run by an older couple, and their banter back and forth made for a very home-y atmosphere. It’s a fun place. I’ll be back.

And once I got Smacky some water and food, and did my best to balance the twin desires of keeping my home secure from intruders and keeping it cool for Smacky and me, I was off. I left town around 1:00 PM. The show started at 9:00 PM. I had plenty of time

Yeah, I was super early. Even earlier, once you consider that the first band went on at 10:00, the second band went on at 11:00… and Harvey Danger, the headliner, didn’t go on until midnight. Oy.

The drive was uneventful. I stopped once to get some water and a snack. No close encounters with road-rage-inflamed drivers. Weather was gorgeous. Car performed normally. Parking, which worried me considering how expensive it is in Portland, was only $3.00 for all-day. I was relieved.

My main plan for killing time was to visit the Science Fiction Museum, a geeks’ paradise. Mainly funded by one of the co-founders of Microsoft, Paul Allen, it houses the most amazing collection of movie props, memorabilia, costumes, and technologically-minded displays I have ever seen. I guess being incredibly rich makes it easy to collect things like the original robot from “Lost in Space” or the model for the Alien Queen from “Aliens” or Darth Vader’s mask from “The Empire Strikes Back” or… or… well, you name a sci-fi movie, any one ever made, and there’s something representing that movie in this museum.

I spent two hours and could have spent more time, and I could go on and on, but let me mention my favorite exhibit. The conceit of the SFM is that it’s a space station, and on one level, the level dealing with science-fictional transportation, there’s a “window” that looks out on the docking ring. It’s really a very crisp monitor that’s easily 8′ across behind a glass window but the effect is impressive. In front of the “window” are touch-screen monitors that list all of the spaceships currently docked at the station. And out the window, in motion, coming and going and avoiding each other, all to the same scale, large and small, are many of the most beloved spaceships of all time. Yes, there’s an Imperial Star Destroyer and the Millennium Falcon and the starship Enterprise… of course. But there are also ships like the Planet Express from “Futurama” and the alien mothership from “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” and the Red Dwarf from, well, “Red Dwarf”. Very cleverly done, and calling up the information on that ship on one of the displays seemed to send that particular ship into action, landing or taking off or just zipping around or lumbering by, whichever suited that particular ship. I loved that window.

There are other great touches to the museum. For instance, they were constantly playing noises or other throwaway bits from different SF stories over the loudspeakers. I won’t give anything away but it’s practically a trivia contest in itself.

But even though I left the museum shortly before close, I still had hours and hours to go until the show started. I killed some time just walking around the Pacific Science Center. I debated going up in the Space Needle, but they charge for that and I’ve been up there so many times before. Mostly I wandered around the city, and looked for some food. Had Mexican again, just ’cause I got tired of looking for a place and was pretty hungry after all that walking around. Indulged in a lime margarita which could have been a lot bigger but was probably just right.

At one point, walking around, near the venue (the Crocodile Cafe), I saw Sean and Aaron from the band walking by, checking their watches and hurrying. I had a “do I act like a fan?” moment and decided to keep to myself. I had just put away my camera or I might have tried to sneak a picture of Sean’s crazy hair.

Here’s another oddness. Here I was, in a strange city, a tourist, and yet I still get asked for directions from people. What is it? Is it the fact that I’m on foot? Do I just look comfortable or confident? I rarely feel that way, but there’s got to be something going on that attracts so many lost people to me. Go figure.

I missed the opening band, mainly on purpose, but saw most of the middle band’s set. They’re called Razrez, which is pronounced in two syllables, and is just as crappy a name as they are a band. Just sayin’. Imagine the Ramones with lots more confidence and lots less skill or showmanship. Yeah. They could play guitar really fast.

And wandering around the club, I spotted John Roderick from the Long Winters’ out front, regaling a table with a story about something. I almost didn’t recognize him as he had shaved off the beard. He looked about 15 years younger, which means he looked about 15. I was a bit more tempted to shake him and ask when their new album is due out and why do we have to wait so freakin’ long… but sadly the margarita wasn’t big enough for that much courage.

After Razrez’s set ended, there was a 20 minute pause while the members of Harvey Danger got set up. Jeff Lin, the guitarist, came out and was tuning his guitar, very focused on his tasks and ignoring the crowd… until some guy yelled out “We love you, Jeff!” and Jeff blushed but did not look up. Sean Nelson showed up briefly to distribute the set lists and seemed genuinely embarrassed by the cheer from the crowd.

In the crowd, waiting for the show to start, I was standing near a guy who looked exactly like a live-action Steve Dallas, of Bloom County fame. Same greasy dark hair, same sunglasses, same bent cigarette dangling out of his mouth, same unbuttoned shirt. It was uncanny. He looked just like this. He was hilarious and only minorly annoying. He played “Air Guitar” to the songs, and sometimes even “Air Drums” but mostly did this strange not-pointing move with his hands where he would raise his hands in beat with the song but his index finger was pointed down. Hard to describe but it looked like a spastic symphony conductor.

Once the set started, Sean explained that their third album, “Little by Little” was coming out in a month, “so we have a request to make. We would like to play the entire CD, front to back, for you tonight. We have not done that yet.” Of course, the crowd loved that idea. The album, in my opinion, is going to rock. After one hearing, admittedly live, I think that I’m going to like this one as much as their first one, and probably more than their second album. Good stuff. “Little Round Mirrors” is, so far, my favorite.

Before starting the duet “Innuendo”, Sean explained that John Roderick was supposed to come out to do the second part of the song but that he literally had a frog in his throat which needed to be removed. Sean had to do both parts himself, which made for an odd performance. I’m pretty sure Sean was engaging in hyperbole, because Roderick came out to sing harmony vocals on one of the encore songs and there was no sign of any amphibians at all, although Roderick’s voice was a bit the worse for wear so anything’s possible, I suppose.

After going through all the songs from the CD, they then played a bunch of rockin’ tunes from their first two albums, starting with the one song I really really wanted to hear live, “Terminal Annex”. I was pogoing and jumping by that point, mainly because if I jumped up above the crowd I got some fresher, cooler air. The entire set list can be found on the HD message board, including their three-song encore, in this thread (scroll down).

After the show, I snagged one of the posters, and hung around for a bit to see if I could get them to sign it for me, but it was hot, I was tired, and I had a 3+ hour drive ahead of me. Thanks to the power of Diet Rock Star, I made it back home with a minimum of hallucinations and nearly no close scrapes. I dropped the car off at it’s parking spot in the Pearl District, and rode the city bus home, where I promptly collapsed into bed to begin my day-and-a-half recovery period.

It was a great trip.