Good and bad

General

Cheese can be a good smell. I said it can. The aroma of a nice cheddar, melting over some macaroni – delicious, mouth-watering.

Cheese can be a bad smell. Very, very bad smell.

I don’t have the language to explain where such a smell crosses the line from good to bad, though context is probably of paramount importance.

For instance, the same great aroma found in your mom’s kitchen definitely crosses the line when emanating from a boy two sizes too large for his seat, next to you, crushing you into the window, on an otherwise jam packed bus. Feeling his warm and sweaty leg pushing up against yours, feeling every bounce and bobble of the bus transmitted to you through his meaty upper arm… combined with the overpowering odor of cheese, well, I don’t have to tell you that it can be more than enough.

Bad, bad cheese smell.

Internet famous

General

I don’t normally watch local news. I get more than enough news on the internets, from reading Twitter, and the Willy Week and The Merc’s Blogtown.

But during the election season, KGW actually devoted a half-hour, five days a week to nothing but the election, both local and national. I watched several times, and wished I’d watched more. Maybe it’s a sign of how poorly local news handles politics that KGW’s move made it stand out, but I wanted to encourage things like that. I am a political junkie, so I follow it all like it was baseball… and I’m sure that if more people had political information in front of them, it would be better in general for all of us. Democracy works when more people participate.

But it seemed to disappear after the election. Or maybe I just stopped watching and went back to my precious internets.

Then… I started reading on Twitter, from a lot of the local folks that I follow, notably Twitterer-about-town Josh Bancroft, that KGW has a new live show on the air at 7:00 PM in my hometown, called Live @ 7. I’m pretty sure that was the same timeslot as the election show.

And, apparently, the host of the show, Stephanie Stricklen, is on Twitter (and the producers (I think) Twitters under their own account, too).

Then, the final straw was reading, somewhere, I don’t remember who said it first, or at all, that Live @ 7 kept their mikes and cameras “live” during commercial breaks for anyone watching them online instead of on TV.

How cool is that?

Last night, because I was home and surfing, I decided to follow StephStricklen and TheSquare on Twitter and load up their live video while I surfed.

It’s kinda cool to see local newscasters who seem to have really embraced a couple of the neat internet tools. During one of the breaks, Stephanie, in between apologizing for being short (what a silly thing to apologize for, said the 5’6″ man), she filled in online watchers on a story that got cut from the broadcast for time, for example.

And prior to the show, the producers asked for input from Twitterers, namely if we were doing anything to prepare for this storm that’s being predicted for the Portland area. I snapped off a snarky but honest answer.

Seeing Attorney-General-elect John Kroger get interviewed made me glad for my vote for him, and Ms. Stricklen made good use of the short amount of time with her questions. I hope, for example, that Kroger’s eye-opening point on how scared even rural communities are of “the meth problem” may lead to other options other than law enforcement options to dealing with drug use and abuse, but I’m glad he is approaching his position by listening to the entire state. It’s encouraging.

Surprise! During the final break, I got to watch Stephanie stumble over my handle. She made a common mistake, assuming that it breaks out as “luna + rob + verse”, I think, from the way she was reading it.

…holy crab, does that mean she’s going to read my tweet?

I shot off a quick note to let them know that my handle is broken out and should be read as “lunar + obverse”. Then I got to see my original tweet read, on air, by the host.

Whoo-hoo! I’m internet famous!

Big thanks to KGW, Stephanie Stricklen and the producers of “Live @ 7” for making me a fan of local news again, and for participating in the internet community. Big props.

Atheist challenge

General

Without looking up the answers on the internet, I got 74% on this Bible quiz. (Shout out to Daniel Florien at Unreasonable Faith for the link.)

You know the Bible 74%!

 

Wow! You are truly a student of the Bible! Some of the questions were difficult, but they didn’t slow you down! You know the books, the characters, the events . . . Very impressive!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Take More Quizzes

Not bad for an atheist, huh? Yes, I’ve read the Bible – three times (NIV and King James versions) – and read some, but not all, of the Apocrypha.

I don’t know which ones I got right and wrong. Didn’t care that much to go back.

How’d you do?

Real-life Bucky

General

Bucky from Get Fuzzy is supposedly a Seal Point Siamese.

This cat looks like it could not only be a Seal Point Siamese, it looks like it could be Bucky. Except his ears aren’t permanently back.

Regardless, the above-linked picture is hilarious.

Spicy

General

Sunday night, I had some beef I needed to cook or freeze. I decided to haul out the wok and stir-fry it with some vegetables, and then save it for later. Sliced it into strips, marinated it for a couple of hours, then got to cookin’.

As the wok (cast iron, baby, and coated in seasoning that’s two years old) heated up, with a little bit of canola oil, I thought to my self, “Self, I like things spicy. Now would be the perfect time to add some cayenne pepper. Just a dash…”

Got out the jar of ground cayenne, which I hadn’t used in a while. Opened the jar, which had no grate or grill on the mouth, and figured I should be careful.

Tipped the jar over… slowly… gave it a little shake…

…and a clump, about the size of my thumb, broke off and fell into the wok.

I laughed. At least at first.

The oil in the wok was just at the “smoke point” – perfect for stir-frying – but as I watched the clump of cayenne, it started smoking even more. A lot more.

I turned my oven fan on higher, but the smoke kept coming.

I started coughing. My eyes started stinging.

My kitchen, then my living room, started filling with spicy smoke; essentially, pepper smoke. I turned the stove down several notches.

In spite of the cold, I opened my doors and fanned to get the smoke out. Still coughing, nose and eyes stinging, I finally got my apartment mostly clear of smoke.

Sadly, my smoke detector did not go off. Note to self: test smoke detector and send note to landlord about that.

Now, days later, I can still smell spicy cayenne in my apartment. It’s kind of delicious, actually. I should cook more often.

I did finally get the beef and veggies cooked up. Man, that beef is gonna be spicy…

Packed house

General

Would you want to see a movie which description includes the phrase:
“Jessica Biel plays a stripper”?

Here’s the trailer:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDe50CnRBtE&hl=en&fs=1]

You’ve probably stopped reading already in your rush to click the link, but blah blah “Powder Blue”, blah blah Forrest Whitaker is a priest blah blah Ray Liotta & Kris Kristoferson (who? exaaaaactly) blah blah strip club crime whatever blah blahdi-blah no release date blah 2009.

If you’ve read this far, you’re welcome. Now go Google “Jessica Biel confirms nudity” until 2009.

The Three R’s

draft

Lately, I’ve taken to going back into my draft posts – the ones where I started a post then decided to save it for later. Sometimes I don’t have the time to fully develop an idea, and sometimes I start it and, for whatever reason, lose the creative energy to continue, or lose my train of thought.

I have 60 of them.

In an effort to always have something posted here, I have been looking for unfinished posts, and then, y’know, finishing them, and scheduling them out ahead.

But there are some posts where now, months later, I have no idea where the post was going to go, what I was trying to say.

But there’s still some value in them, I think. Maybe if I contemplate it, I can fill in the blanks. Maybe not. But at least it might be interesting.

Presented below is one such post. I originally started it on 17 April 2007. The parts in square brackets are where I was leaving myself an idea of what to write, a space I could fill in later with more details.

I don’t remember what was going to go in the last one – the one about Sunday school – except the vague outlines of my memory of first contact with organized religion. I don’t remember how it fit into the rest of the post.

I’ve given this post a tag of “draft”, so that I can do this again in the future and collect ’em all in one place.

Feel like helping? Post a comment to share your thoughts on the theme I was aiming for. Help me do some archaeology into my own mind…

*****
I was complimented recently on my writing. She told me it was warm, and friendly, and that she could just imagine me right there in the room with her.

[Story about having a typewriter when I was in Kindergarten]

Not sure if those stories were gibberish or actual stories – but there’s evidence that they may have been readable, at least.

[Story about mom watching me and my sister looking at the Sunday funnies on the living room floor – and mom realized I was actually reading them to my older sister. According to the family mythology, I was three years old.]

Post title mentions the three R’s and between ‘riting and reading that’s only two. You may think that the third R is ‘rithmetic, but I had in mind my first encounter with Religion…

[Story about bible school]

I send emails

General

At the risk of descending into “grumpy-old-man-ism”, I present here an email I sent and the reply in regards to a consumer complaint:

*****
from: Brian Moon
to: jan.smith@state.or.us
date: Sun, Nov 30, 2008 at 10:51 AM
subject: Question about retailer policies

I found your email address at the DEQ site for the bottle bill. If you're not the right person to address this question, please pass my email along to the correct group.

The closest retailer to take bottle returns has just informed me that they will not take flattened bottles. I live in an apartment and don't have a lot of space for recycling, so I normally flatten the plastic bottles to take up less space. The retailer (Foster's Market on SE Clatsop & 17th in Sellwood) either won't take them, or requires me to re-inflate the bottles.

I know that there are provisions in the law that allow a retailer to refuse up to a certain number of bottles, or bottles that are unclean or damaged so that their labels aren't visible - but not taking back bottles that are readable but take up less space seems unreasonable to me.

What can you tell me about how the law governs this situation? Thank you for your time.

--
Brian Moon
Portland, OR

*****
from: Jan Smith
to: Brian Moon
date: Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 10:52 AM
subject: Re: Question about retailer policies

I just spoke to the manager at the store and they will not be doing that again. They can not refuse because they are crushed. If you have any further problems please contact me.

Thank you,

Jan Smith

Janice L. Smith
License/Compliance Assistant
Oregon Liquor Control Commission

*****

I just knew that lady was giving me trouble when I tried to bring back those cans! She’s the lady who also once refused to sell me a lottery ticket because she didn’t know how to work the machine. Ugh.

Less than a feeling

General

Or maybe your “feeling” about the existence of God is more like:

  • …your feeling that you’re standing on solid ground? The surface of the Earth is moving at over 1,037 MPH at the equator; about half that at the 45th parallel.
  • …your feeling that the Sun moves across the sky? The Sun is the central point in our solar system, due to its much larger mass compared to the satellites and planets that orbit it. It’s apparent motion through the sky is caused by the rotation of the Earth – an illusion facilitated by your minuscule size compared to both the Earth and the Sun and the distance between them.
  • …your feeling of happiness and satisfaction upon eating a full meal? That Big Mac, large fries, and large Coke contains 1420 calories – more than would be burned by over an hour of running for most people.
  • …the feeling of beauty at the twinkling of the stars in the night sky? The light from distant suns is steady; the twinkling effect is caused by shifts in the upper atmosphere.
  • …your feeling that there is something privileged and different about humanity compared to other animals? All creatures on Earth use DNA to encode the genetic information they need to grow, live, and breed; the differences between the genetic code of chimpanzees and humans are less than 4%.

Your feelings are probably the worst way to measure the real world available to you. They are more often a signpost to your own inner narcissism.

Good thing we have the toolbox of science to help us get over our self-centeredness, right?

I could go on. I probably will, later, as I think of more examples of how inaccurate feelings are. Want to leave your own suggestions for inaccurate feelings in the comments?

Feel free!