Unvaccinated, caffeinated

Dad was standing by the Starbucks counter. A tan Venti iced soy chai stood there; dad had the impatient look of someone waiting for their dose of caffeine. I walked up and picked up my soy chai.

“So… they don’t have any vaccines for us.” I nodded over my right shoulder toward the CVS counter. We were inside a Target store and in late early 21st Century America, brands exist inside other brands. It’s a nesting doll of brands, or layers of an onion. This Target is supporting a symbiotic CVS and a symbiotic Starbucks. I’m unsure if there were other brands dotted around the floor.

Dad gave me the grumpy side-eye that means he’s annoyed; not with me, with living in a world of corporate brands. “What?”

“Apparently there’s a newer Covid vaccine coming in September, so they don’t have any of the current vaccine.”

“Then why the fuck did they let us make an appointment?” The barista had placed dad’s dark iced mocha with whipped cream in front of him. He picked it up and fished a straw down the straw-hole.

“Yeah. That’s my question, too.” Next weekend I’m playing D&D with my friends in-person after two years of playing online through Discord, and the weekend after that I’m a volunteer at an art-tech festival called XOXO. I intended to get vaccinated because I don’t want to give, or get, the incredibly contagious disease that we’ve all decided is as normal as the weather.

Dad wandered over to a table. “Let’s grab a table for these.”

This was actually the second appointment I’d made, for me and dad, today. The earlier one, at a different CVS invasively inside a different Target, had been canceled almost as soon as I’d made it because, and I swear I am not making this up, the pharmacist said they had contracted Covid so were barred from giving vaccinations for Covid, or, really, anything, probably.

“He said it was a ‘bug in the system,” I said, laughing. “Except it’s not a bug in the system, it’s a human error. The computers don’t consult with the people.”

“They have to know if they have the shots in stock,” dad grumbled.

“Right!? They clearly have the ability to cancel an appointment. The other pharmacist did it.” I sipped my chai. “So annoying.”

Dad smiled. “I’d asked for an extra shot, and I overheard them mention an extra shot of chocolate syrup…”

His right hand twitched slightly on the table.

“Oh did you get the wrong order?”

“No, that’s what I’m saying. I got more chocolate.” His hand pointed at my drink. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Yup!” I sipped again.

Dad’s hand moved toward my drink. “You mind if I have a taste?”

I pushed it across the table at him. “Nope!”

His hand twitched again. I gently reached out and put my hand on top of his. His skin was papery, dry, warm. Dad looked puzzled at my hand, then at me.

“Do you notice that? I see your hand twitch sometimes.”

“Oh, no, sometimes.”

I felt empathy bloom inside me. I kept my face as neutral as I could but my heart ached to see his body, once strong, now failing, slowly, with age.

In the background, one of the baristas, short with blonde and black hair, was going on break. The other one, tall with black and blonde hair, was telling the first one to get something to eat.

Dad smiled after the sip, nodded. “That’s good!”

“It’s kind of sweet. Sometimes I add a shot of espresso, cuts the sweetness a bit. But it’s a good drink.”

I slurpped up the bottom of the cup with the straw. “Mom always hated that sound, but…”

“But how else are you going to get every last drop!” dad, laughing, finished my thought.

98 years since

Today was my mom’s birthday, although she isn’t around anymore to celebrate. She passed away in June of 2001 from lung cancer. Today marks the 98th year since her birth, an immeasurably long time. The years since she passed are also long but in a different way. My memories of her are fragmented. I see her in flashes, from many different situations.

The first memory that flashes up are of the most recent time I spoke to her. She was in her bed, and we were watching TV. I don’t remember what was playing. I just sat there on the bed next to her, holding her hand. I’d come over straight after work. The urge to spend as much time as possible with her was so strong, I felt guilty for going home that evening, and going to work.

Mom was still lucid. This was a few days before the hospice nurse had started upping her dose of morphine. Understandably mom was coughing, a lot. She was always thin and frail; we would tease her about her bird legs (it seems mean now but that’s how our family talked; just stating facts.) But with the cancerous cells choking off her ability to breath, replacing her good cells, she had shrunken even more.

We still had conversations, though. I did not, and do not, believe that any part of us survives death, so when death is on the line I know I need to be present. And, reader, death is nearly always on the line. I would ask mom about her favorite movies, or favorite songs. I’d ask her where she learned to cook. I’d ask about her dreams, and her regrets.

With hindsight it is easy to see that mom was almost certainly neurodivergent, since my dad, my sister, and I am. At the time, however, I just knew that her personality had a mixture of crankyness and silliness in almost a two-to-one mixture. The crankiness never bothered me much; I tuned it out. It was just mom. It was never biting, not when she turned it toward me. But the silliness was special. She’d make an odd joke. Suddenly break into a huge grin. It was like being dazzled by an oncoming headlight after driving on a dark highway.

I can’t keep one image in mind; I see her as she was throughout my life. She’s young, dressed up in her best, and we’re going over to Aunt Phyllis’ house for the Hayner Family Christmas. All the cousins my age would hang out and find some side room to conspire, gossip, and play; the adults would wander around, or sit in the living room, and talk and laugh. My mom was one of 13 children, giving me plenty of uncles and aunts and cousins, so the house would be full of people, spilling out into the yard, the driveway, the backyard. Mom was the second-oldest and she wore her Oldest Sister role well, praising her siblings’ new jobs, or the food they’d brought to the potluck. I can see her sitting on the couch, cigarette held like a magic wand, wreathed in nicotine smoke.

I swear, these are the good memories. Maybe I’m not explaining myself well?

I wanted this post to be full of stories but this draft appears to just be me reminiscing. I do miss mom. I wonder how she’d react to things today. Happy birthday, mom. The world is lesser without you in it.

Edited to add: The original draft of this post said mom, my dad, my sister, and me were neurotypical. I meant neurodivergent. I regret the error. – BAM 28 October 2024

A stream-of-consciousness prayer

Getting started is almost always the hardest part. I am certain I’ve said that on this blog before. I’ve said it before because it’s true, at least for me and the way my brain works. Once I get going in earnest on a task, distractions fade away. Honestly I only get distracted when I don’t have an interesting or urgent project I am working on. My attention span is all or nothing, it seems.

If I am distracted, in a distractable state, I bounce between sources of that sweet sweet dopamine; music, games, social media, around and around I go. If there’s something I should be working on that does not immediately fit into the categories of interesting or urgent, and I’m able to muster a shred of duty, engaging my executive function feels like I am dragging a recalcitrant dog on a leash toward home.

Right now, as I write this, I’m having to pull that pup hard. On one screen I have this app into which I am tapping out words. On the left screen I have a video going, just to have another human voice as background. The video is of Jawoodle, a YouTuber, playing my current obsession, 7 Days to Die, the zombie horror survival multiplayer online crafting game. Did I squeeze in anough descriptors to that?

I really enjoy that game. Jawoodle is Australian and his boisterous and friendly voice is fun to listen to. And I don’t need to pay close attention. He can ramble as he wanders the wasteland and if something amazing happens I can turn away from my writing, and rewind to watch.

Something amazing might be a close call with zombies, some choice piece of loot, or an interesting new place to raid. I need to write but my eyes and attention wander over to the left to stop and watch the moving pictures. Come on, pup, we need to get back to the task at hand. I know you don’t want to, but we have to. As much as I’d love to let you have a free run, I have a streak to keep going. Gotta keep writing.

Nope, lost focus briefly. Jawoodle found a bunch of legendary parts in a clothing store; I zoned out to his count and joy. This dog (my brain) wants to hunt (do nothing at all). I am burning all my attention fuel trying to keep writing this post. I think I was going somewhere with all this but the light at the end of the tunnel is fading. I’m writing but I feel lost in the darkness. My feet feel the train tracks but my eyes are useless in this pitch black.

The ending is coming up soon. Is my stream of consciousness writing lately at all of interest? As I’ve said before, I’m just putting in the time, building the habit, so that when inspiration and the muse find me again, I am ready to receive the blessings. My writing these days is more like a prayer. A hope for a better day when I am able to turn my interior feelings into words that can transmit those feelings to another person. That’s you, the reader. Hope you stay tuned.

So Old It Refused To Update

I mentioned yesterday that I spent a lot of time out of my work day on just two issues. The first one was a printer issue. Printer-ish, at least. Let’s just say it was printer-adjacent.

What was the other one, you ask? I am happy to answer that for you. It was the most stubborn Chrome installation I have ever had the misfortune to experience. It was the Chrome installation that would not die.

I got the call as an escalation, actually. The user reported that they were getting a message that Chrome was not compatible with several sites they needed to use, and it required an update. The computer was a Surface tablet, which in my experience is an indication of trouble right off the bat. Surface tablets are popular with a lot of users, but not that popular with technicians. I’m not saying this problem was caused by the janky hardware, but it might have been a contributing factor.

One of my coworkers spent more than an hour over the course of several calls trying, and failing, to get that really old version of Chrome to either update to a more recent version, or completely uninstall so they could just install the newest version. My co-worker tried everything they knew, and asked me if I could take a look.

How hard could that be? If nothing else, I thought, I can just delete all the folders, delete the relevant Registry entries, and start over. A slash-and-burn strategy. But that’s not where I started. I started by trying to cover the basics. Always start out with the simplest fixes, test that it did or did not solve the issue, and move on to more and more complicated fixes. One step at a time, check your options. Troubleshoot methodically.

I started with just trying to uninstall. I tried running the uninstaller with admin rights. I made sure that there wasn’t malware that might be preventing the updater from running. None of that worked.

I double-checked that the issue wasn’t just on the user’s profile. Nope, same problem in another account on the same computer. That told me that it was a Windows-wide issue. Something was deeply broken in this computer.

I spent a lot of time backing up the user’s bookmarks by trying to copy out the folders in %appdata% which was slow going. I did that because the user was not able to log in to their Google account to sync. That is a result of the version of Chrome being so old; it was incompatible with current Google accounts. I think that’s why this was so broken; it had been frozen in time, while Windows and Google advanced, to the point where it was stuck, not functioning. It was too old to update properly, if you can imagine such a thing.

I should have just had the user bring their tablet in, wipe the thing, and reinstall Windows. That would have about the same amount time spent than what I tried next. I began my burning bridges strategy.

To my utter surprise, it even refused to let me delete the Registry keys. I hadn’t seen that before.

I was able to delete the folder in C:\Program Files(x86)\ though. And in its place I installed a portable version of Chrome, which was newer than what the user had been working with. It did let them log in, sync their bookmarks, and use the sites they needed. It still gave an error about not being able to update, though. All I’d done is kick the can down the road a bit.

For sure, the next step is to wipe it and reinstall everything. At least they’re working for now.

Brian vs. Printer

Spent a good chunk of my work day today on two issues; almost 3 hours. The first one was a printer issue and I am not sure that I’ve ever said this here but I hate printers. I hate them so much. Out of all the tech out there that I need to troubleshoot and repair, printers are at the bottom of my list. They’re fiddly, they all have their own unique interfaces and labels and functions so they’re not standarized like operating systems or computer hardware or phones, and they all have moving parts that are prone to malfunctioning and breakdown.

Oh wait I have said I hate printers, and recently. Apologies for my Swiss-cheese memory. That’s why I tried to buy the most boring and functional printer I could find.

This particular printer was in an office setting. It was an MFP which stands for Multi-Function Printer, which means it had a scanner and a fax machine built in. More fiddly parts that are prone to breakdown and malfunctioning, just what a printer needs. Bolting more abilities to something already full of potential for failure is a clear path to extra failure.

According to the customer, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, the printer was their main source for scanning documents, a key office function. It was working on Friday, and when it worked properly, it would scan a document and send the file, via email, to the selected user. The client said that they had been getting errors recently, but rebooting the printer usually cleared up the problem. Until today.

Reader I spent so much time on this. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, I was doing this all remotely. My boss believes in doing as much as possible remotely, because he charges customers extra if a tech has to come onsite. He charges for travel time and there’s a surcharge for onsite time. So I had the customer on the phone, and I was remoted in to their computer.

Let me try to shortcut what I did. I wanted to be methodical. My first task was to find out if there were any obvious errors. I was able to get into the web interface for the printer and there were no errors. The fact that I could see it over the network meant that it was, well, on the network. So that wasn’t the issue.

That all took me about 20 minutes, if my memory serves me right. It was a bit of slow going. But the next part was nearly an hour of trying different configurations of settings. Because this wasn’t strictly a printer issue. It was a network connectivity and email issue. I had to find the exact right combination of server, port, and authentication issues that would let this printer send an email. I had to dig through the printer settings (keeping in mind what I said above about how each printer manufacturer uses their own jargon for otherwise standard things), email server settings, and help documents from the printer manufactuer and the email provider, matching up things that were surprisingly differentiated.

Reader, I won. I managed to get it all sorted. And I documented it all for the next tech to come along. It just took me nearly an hour and a half.

Since I’m over my 500 word goal, I’ll save the other troubleshooting story for a separate post.

Write and see

Even though I’ve been posting daily, my normal at-least-500-words post, I haven’t been writing daily. Not for the whole weekend. I posted stories I had already written for other things. Which is fine, the idea is to steadily increase my posting streak. But my other commitment, that I must write daily, has become a little rusty. So here I go, showing up again, trying to write and get back into the habit.

Two days might not seem long enough to fall out of a habit but I can feel the resistance to writing building up even in that short of a time. The main reason I stopped writing is because of the complaint I always start out with: “I don’t have anything to write about.” Look back over this blog, over the recent long streak, or even farther back, and you will see me write over and over again, I don’t know what to write about, nearly always in the first paragraph of a post longer than the 500 word goal.

And sometimes those posts are about something real. If I just sit down and start writing, I can pull out the most amazing interior feelings and turn them into a story or a thoughtful ramble with a point to make. The complaint shouldn’t be “I don’t have anything to write about”, it should be “I don’t want to start writing.” Because just the act of starting will almost alwasy transition into real writing. I just have to begin and the charge, the flow, the creativity, will flow from whereever it exists in my body and mind and animate my fingers into touch-typing out and filling my screen with an interesting post.

Interesting to me, anyway. I am as much a witness and reader of this blog as I am a writer and creator. I don’t always know where an idea will go if I just sit back, open the tap, and follow the path that opens up before me.

I’m still going but this doesn’t feel like one of those posts. Not yet. I’m three-fifths of the way to my goal and it doesn’t feel profound. That’s fine, that’s okay. I just have to show up. There are several posts on this blog about that, too. Showing up is the most important part. I need to write even when I think I have nothing to say. I need to write just to see. I need to demonstrate to myself that I don’t have to censor myself. I can draft, I can free-form. It’s all good and valid.

Maybe this isn’t the best for SEO or traffic. I don’t really care about that. I can tell that about 80-100 of you stop by every week to see what’s here. I can tell you read the most recent posts but you also poke around in the backlog. I don’t see a lot of search engine traffic so I can only assume you’re here because you like what I write, or you like me. We have a connection, reader, you and I. And I appreciate that so much. More than I can express. Thank you.

The pause is over, back to writing regularly.

Shadowtail’s Song, Act 2

Start with Act 1 here. In my D&D campaign, I surprised my players with this knowledge by introducing a cat by the name of Shadowtail. This is Shadowtail’s origin story, Act 2.

I was inspired by several things: cats I’ve known in my life, for one; the stories about Lankhmar Below by Fritz Lieber; the novel Tailchaser’s Song by Tad Williams; and the Dream of A Thousand Cats from the Sandman series.

Act II:

She did not have a name. She had lived so long among the Two-Legs that she had nearly lost her meow, which surprised me. Whatever the Two-Legs called her did not sing to her, so she ignored them. She had spied me from a distance and it had reminded her of something, and eventually had approached me.

She was as free as the wind, and as patient as the stone, and as fierce as a fire. But what she was all else: she was clever. Nearly as clever as I am.

We spent most of our time aboveground. Riverwild would come find me and we would hunt together or sun together in the late afternoon. On rainy days we would hide in one of the buildings – avoiding the stone hall near the gate where the Two-Legs came and went, and the main temple where the fount of magic once was. We would hiss and taunt the giant spiders in the pavilion, or chase game down the stone steps into the deep hole, or chase each other along the broken wall tops. 

Best of all we would watch the sun, moon and stars chase themselves across the sky from the top most level of the tallest tower, and we would sing to them, and to each other.

One day, we had wandered beyond the walls in search of tasty mice, and seeing her on the bank of a rushing stream, I said that she was as wild as a rushing river. She sneezed in laughter, and said, “You, and only you, may call me Riverwild. I may not come when you call, of course, but my heart will hear it, Shadowtail.”

Eventually, kittens happened, as they often do.

Riverwild and I would roam and hunt still. We were particularly careful about avoiding the gatehouse during these long warm days andshort warm nights. When Riverwild became too gravid to hunt, she would nest in the long grass near a pool of potable water, and I would bring her meat to feed her and her — our — kits. When they were done with nursing, Riverwild and I would give them prey to play with, and sometimes hide and pounce on them, until they learned to hide and pounce on us. We gave names to the one or two who could sing more than just cat-song.

It was a good summer. But the warm season does grow cooler. Leaves turn from green to brown and orange. Days grow shorter, leaving more night in which to hunt. Kittens became ptoms and qweins. They grew and some stayed nearby, and others wandered off on their own adventures. In the lazy afternoons, bellies full, I would sing them songs of Kopno’domas Below and the War of Cats, Dogs, and Rats (hissss!)

Shadowtail’s Song, Act 1

When designing a world, whether for fiction, or a table top role-playing game, the best advice I’ve ever received was “put the things you love in your world.” Because of that, in my D&D campaign, I’ve decided that many rats, some cats, and a few dogs can speak. They’re otherwise ordinary examples of their kind; no other special abilities or extra hit points, no opposable thumbs, they can just talk. They don’t like to talk around the Two-Legs, and they’re in constant war with each other.

I was inspired by several things: cats I’ve known in my life, for one; the stories about Lankhmar Below by Fritz Lieber; the novel Tailchaser’s Song by Tad Williams; and the Dream of A Thousand Cats from the Sandman series.

I surprised my players with this knowledge by introducing a cat by the name of Shadowtail. This is Shadowtail’s origin story.

Act I:

It’s true; some cats can speak with lesser creatures, like dogs, or rats <hissss> or even Two-Legs. Not all of us, though. And some of us don’t like to let the Two-Legs know. They can’t all be trusted.

I’ve always known how, as far back as my kittenhood. My mama Sunrise, and my papa Stonegray, both knew how, and they taught me. I was better than my brothers and sisters, I knew that much. Don’t tell them that I loved them. I did, but they wouldn’t believe me. That was a long time and a far journey away, in Kopno’domas Below, the city beneath the city. We hunted and rested, and avoided the Two-Legs above, for the most part.

My family and the rest of the colony didn’t only play and hunt and sleep, though. We were at war, always at war, with the dogs, and the rats <hissssss>. I hate the rats the most. Dogs are just dumb but many of them are bigger than even the biggest cat, and can be dangerous sometimes, in large numbers.

A few years back, the Rat Queen and Her Court <hissssss!> had somehow gained the upper hand on our little colony of cats. They greatly outnumbered us, and had enlisted help from among the Two-Legs, and were coming to eat us all. It was the smart thing to do to leave. We had no ties to Kopno’domas Below. Pfft. It didn’t hurt us at all, leaving the only home we had ever known, full of warm soft places to sleep and many tasty things to hunt. Surely anywhere would have those things, right?

So we left, my brothers and sisters and I, and Sunrise, and Stonegray. One night, we crept out above ground, made our way past the Two-Legs with big knives in metal shells, and we kept traveling in the direction of the setting sun. We found plenty of things to hunt, though some of them were large and better avoided than chased. We found fields full of grain, and kept going. We found tall mountains full of dangerous things, and kept going. We smelled salt in the air, and living fish, and followed the streams to the biggest area of sand, jutting up against a bigger than big pool of water, from where the scent of salt and fish came from. Mama and papa said that surely this was the hunting ground we had dreamed of for many of our lives. 

Sunrise and Stonegray called this a beach, and The Ocean, and when the sun fell into The Ocean it all lit up like it was on fire. It was a good life. We didn’t have comfortable cushions to rest on, and there were no small fires to sleep next to, and there were no Two-Legs around to leave out tasty treats to eat. We had to find those comforts ourselves. And we mostly did.

As we roamed we found smaller towns full of Two-Legs, and over time, some of my brothers and sisters wandered into them. I worried (don’t tell them) but I also hoped for them. Not all Two-Legs are bad.

Sunrise and Stonegray also felt the call of sleeping on windowsills and silk pillows to rest on after a good hunt, and one day they butted my head, told me I was special, and wandered into the town. I was torn, but I also knew I was not fit for these kinds of comforts, as special as I was. So I kept wandering, keeping The Ocean and the setting sun to my right as I continued down the coast, hunting and sleeping as I wished. Mice were plentiful and clever, but I was cleverer. 

One evening from atop a bluff, I saw a big wooden boat out on the ocean waves. It had wine-red sails that caught the wind and pulled it over the water. From the beach, I kept up with it as best as I could, until the boat pulled into a cove, and it lowered a smaller boat, full of Two-Legs. They had found a Two-Legs ruin, walled off, abandoned. It was a large area, with a dead tree in the center, and many towers and buildings. Some of them stayed above in tents with a fire, the others disappeared into one of the buildings. This was not a town or a village. I could keep my distance from them, so I stayed for several nights, hiding in the bushes. I stole bits of food and cheese from them but kept out of their awareness. I slept near the dead tree, where they did not go.

One night, I woke, whether from luck or alertness, to see another cat, pale with ginger stripes, and blue eyes, watching me. “Hello,” she said, in the common Two-Legs language.

Weekend planning post

Disclaimer: no actual planning in this post

It’s the weekend and my personal sense of duty is telling me I have a lot of projects left over from last weekend and I should do them all and then invent new ones. What projects do I have? I have an Intel NUC I want to boot up, install something Linux-y, and configure as a reverse proxy. I have a 3D printer kindly lent to me by a coworker and several things I want to print. I have a D&D map of my epic fantasy city, Kopno’domas, Jewel of the Rusva Vesta, that I need to finish. And a bookshelf I need to repair so I can get these piles of books up off the floor.

That’s just off the top of my head. I also signed up for a tour of the new wing of the Portland Airport; my dad is kind of excited to go and see it. He worked there for a couple of decades as an electrical inspector, so it’ll be like old home week to him. I’m feeling ambivalent about it; not feeling great, don’t want to catch any of the many incredibly contagious diseses that our society has decided is no big deal, and I’m very introverted and am not looking forward to being around people.

Also I’m obsessed with playing 7 Days to Die now that it’s reached release status after being in Alpha for nearly 12 years. This game just satisfies my process-loving brain. The cycle of kill zombies, loot points of interest (POIs), craft better gear, repeat, just hits that sweet spot of simple problems solved by easy tasks. There are no gray areas, no ethical dilemmas, in a zombie survival game. Everything is reduced down to the basics. I can play this for hours. There’s always one more thing to do. Oh now I have a stack of rocks and clay, I can make cobblestone, which I can use to build up my base. Oh, I ran out of ammo, need to go out and mine some nitrate and coal, wait now I need lead, back to base to crank out some brass and lead and bullets.

‘Round and ’round it goes. Every success means I can move on to the next part of the cycle. There’s no natural stopping point, every step just unlocks the next step. Not everyone finds that fun but I find it super relaxing. Plus I get the satisfaction of killing mindless enemies. Don’t think too deeply about that. In real life I’m a pacifist who has vowed to never touch a gun again.

With the caveat that I will pick up a gun in the event of a zombie apocalypse or evil alien invasion. Only then. Won’t shoot any natural earthly creatures. I’m a man of my word on that. I don’t even kill spiders unless it’s accidental. I move them out of the house, turning them loose, if they get in my way. And you have to understand how much I fear and hate spiders. It’s a lot.

The Night-Captain’s Report

Another story I wrote as a sort of recap for the players in my D&D game. They had broken in to a warehouse. This is the Night-Captain’s viewpoint cleaning up after the fact. Enjoy!

Second bell past midnight

27th of Bluesky 502 AC

Warjos Dos Docks District

Guard-Commander Tullia de Cueto was still pulling on her gloves, awkwardly holding a paper-wrapped sweet nut pastry in one hand, as she walked up to the warehouse in the dead of night. She pardoned her wide-shouldered body past the small crowd of bystanders, some of whom recognized her and bid her a friendly greeting. Tullia walked around the front to the left, to where her night-captain, Savastian Traius stood, taking notes in a small journal.

“Sorry to send for you, Captain,” Savastian said, his blue eyes sincere as he pushed his hair back behind his ears. “This seemed big enough to need your attention.” Oil light spilled out of the building he stood next to, putting his face in sharp contrast, the left side of his face in darkness.

Tullia sighed and hefted the half-eaten sugary treat she held in her leather-gloved hand. “Gidden came over last night. He brought some fresh salmon and we broiled it. Not sure what he used to season it, but it was amazing. And he had these cranberry-nut things for dessert. It was a lovely evening and a lovely morning. Until I saw your face, Sav.” She took a bite, then tucked it into a pouch. “What do I need to know?” She pointed to the metal bindings of a door, hanging from the hinges, with shards of burned wood still smoldering, leaving the entrance fully open. “What happened here?”

“That’s not even the most–” Savastian started to say. He was interrupted by shouts from further inside the warehouse and a wet, raspy growl, accompanied by the sounds of heavy things being knocked over. “Friar Willy found an undead bear here.”

Tullia pinched the bridge of her nose, her wide-cheeked face and forehead blushing with a rush of frustration. “OK, start at the beginning.”

“Near as I can tell,” Sav said, “the Friar and his friends – an elf-blooded nature mage and a couple of light-armor fighters, human woman and halfling man, we didn’t get names – broke in here because they thought there was some necromancy going on.” The sounds of the zombie beast inside the warehouse continued, along with the shouts of people trying to corral it. “He was right.”

“Whose warehouse is this? Do we know? I didn’t see any signage out front.” Tullia stepped over the ashy remains of the door into the lobby. A well-worn carpet was thrashed about and pierced with many small holes; she noted the open single doors to her left and right, and open double doors straight ahead. The room was lit with oil lanterns, which made flickering shadows in the rafters overhead. 

“A merchant guild called Better Burrows, headed up by Ser Harmonio Whisperbridge out of Kopno’domas. Deals mostly in fine furniture and woodworking and textiles, typical halfling creature comforts.”

Tullia tsk’ed. “Keep the stereotypes under control, Sav. Lots of folk like nice things. Like that salmon dinner I had last night…” She peered into the door to her left and saw a pair of bunk beds and a desk, and a firepit that appeared to have burned out of control, centered in a black ring of ash and soot. She looked up and saw a flimsy metal chimney that had also been exploded, probably from above. “What happened to the workers here?”

“Uh, bad news, Captain. Some of the former workers seem to have been, well, zombified, also.”

“Torm’s stormy dick!” Tullia cursed. “We’ll have to get names and notify next of kin. Probably this Ser Whisperbridge will know. OK, zombie bear, zombie workers. We got anyone else involved?”

“Oh, I forgot to mention the undead wolf running around…” Sav put up both hands defensively to fend of his superior’s anger. “We’ve had reports of it for at least four or five days now, just haven’t had the time to track it down. Been scaring kids and threatening pets nightly. Once we finish up here I’ll round up a posse and go hunting. But, actually, we do have someone in custody. Guy named Maso. Willy turned him over to us. Guy’s still freaked out, babbling about vines and fire, but once he calms down we’ll get more info from him. He’s chilling out in the cell back at the guardpost.” Sav consulted his notes. “Maso claimed to work for a Grenjolm, been using the warehouse for the last week or two. Guard Selko has confirmed that a ship, the Her Folly, has been in dock recently, run by a Lord Captain Grenjolm de Astorga, also known as Lucon Astorga, Garlless Lucon, Grenjolm the Wild… got a long list of aliases, but Grenjolm is the most common one. Wild sorcerer.” 

Tullia, leading Sav, stepped into the warehouse. To her left were the large barn doors, still barred and locked from the inside. In front of her was a crane and under it an open shipping container, conveniently bear-sized. On the other side, three people, two of them wearing the yellow and red tabards of city watch, the other in rough street clothes, were lassoing and pinning down a rotting, angry, brown bear. The people were trying to tie off the rope to leash it in place. Beyond them, four animated corpses were chained in a line underneath a wooden catwalk, agitated and mouthing incoherent groans. Tullia shook her head, disgusted. 

“Good work, all,” she said to the people holding the ropes. “So this Maso was shipping the bear somewhere?” She poked a finger at the shipping label. “Lady Marcella Bimalchio in Barangdorn. Another message to send. Why aren’t we killing the bear? You must have a good reason.”

“We can’t afford reparations to Lady Bimalchio. Coffers can’t cover what it looks like she paid for this thing.” Sav pointed at a metal grate on the floor of the warehouse. “Maso’s gang all escaped down there, into the sewers. Probably long gone by now, but I’ll put up posters on the bounty board once we get names from Maso. Oh, and there’s a cell down there with three more workers chained up.” 

A woman wearing the red-and-yellow tabard over her studded leather armor approached from the lobby. “Found the keys. They were in the office.” She dangled the keychain and pointed her thumb behind her. “Also, the safe is open and empty. The gang likely grabbed it before they escaped.”

“Thanks, Millicent. Good work.” Sav said. “Head down and see if you can let those workers out.”

Tullia sighed. She counted off on her fingers as she spoke. “OK, we’ve got Maso for squatting, for looting, and fraudulent sales. He’s an accomplice to necromancy. Endangerment by way of uncontrolled monstrosities. Accomplice to theft. We’ve got the Rhobanite priest as a witness, along with his friends. The halfling merchant prince will press charges, along with the next-of-kin for the workers and the still-living workers. See if we can get any more information from the neighborhood; someone must have seen or heard something.”

“Yes, ma’am. And Friar Willy promised to come by the guard post tomorrow to fill us in. Probably afternoon. You know,” and Sav pantomimed taking a long drink from a large mug. 

“Sounds like you’ve got it all under control, then, Sav.” Tullia said, stepping back through the lobby and out into the street. “What did you need me for?” 

The blonde man furrowed his brow and pointed to the people still wrestling and pulling the bear toward the crate. “Well, we, uh, we could use some help with the bear!” But his captain was gone, her back fading out in the dark of the summer night. Tucking his notepad into a pouch on his belt, he cracked his knuckles and went back inside.