Smells faintly of dead babies

Standing in the lobby of my building, delicious soy chai and cinnamon scone in hand, waiting for the elevator. Barely awake.

Elevator arrives, I step on, and swipe my badge (it’s a secure building) and press my floor button… and a cute blonde woman in a sharp gray pinstripe jacket and skirt walks in the front door, her high heels tap-tapping on the tile floor, her hair bouncing around her cheeks.

The elevator is closing so I stab at the “Door close” button – oops, not thinking – I fumble for the “Door open” button and, just as the doors close they reverse themselves and open again.

The blonde notices and smiles and steps on. “Thank you!” she says brightly.

“No problem,” I say. “Just bein’ friendly.”

“Well, it’s such a long ride to the top,” she purrs, “I hate to miss the bus.”

“Funny, I don’t see you as a bus rider,” I say. “I figure taxis and limos are more your speed.” And as I say this, she swipes her badge and punches for the top floor.

She swipes her Qwest badge.


And punches the button for the Qwest Executives’ floor.

She laughs, although, now, to me, her breath smells faintly of dead babies. “Take a taxi to work? That would be expensive!”

My blood feud with Qwest is amply documented elsewhere on these internets. A battle that I had, in fact, won but has left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I have sworn never to even acknowledge their existence.

Imagine my discomfort at being forced to work in a building that my employer shares with Qwest. And not just run-of-the-mill Qwest employees, poor damned souls, no; there are Qwest executives on the two floors directly above me. How they must have schemed and plotted after their defeat at my noble hands to gain the ultimate position of superiority over me. However, my purity is not tainted by their soiled presence in the belfry of my office building. No. My honor is enhanced that they would continue to poke at me from such a perch.

Until this day, however, I had not had to interact with one of them. And, in my moment of weakness prior to partaking of all that is good and soy and chai and cinnamon-y, I actually conversed on a friendly, almost flirt-y, level.

I hoped that my sudden disapproval didn’t show too baldly on my face; I just wanted to avoid any further contamination. “Right, spendy,” I murmurred, “money, heh. Right.” I then courteously studied the display of floor numbers, willing my floor to arrive as quickly as possible.

“Have a nice day!” she taunted me as I stepped off.

Wow. I feel… dirty. I need a shower.

Have you tried rebooting?

For dinner tonight, I felt like getting something new. There’s a spot near my grocery store, Philladelphia’s, that sells sandwiches and microbrew. I’d tried them in the past a few times, because whenever I walk past it, it smells great. However, every time I’ve actually eaten there, I’d come away mildly disappointed in the sandwiches – too expensive for the blah food.

They had recently added free wifi as an option and that gave me incentive to try them one more time.

Again, the food was blah and spendy. I’ll never learn to stop thinking with my senses.

While I was there, I pulled out my new sexy thing and poked around. Their access point requires a password that’s cleverly hidden so that only customers can see it, not folks sitting outside or walking past, and it looks like they change it from time to time. They’re using WEP encryption which is almost worse than not having encryption at all, considering how easily the encryption can be brute-forced and broken, but I’ll give them an “E” for effort.

After a bit another, older balder gentleman came in and opened up his Dell laptop. After poking around and showing increasing signs of frustration, he asked one of the employees for help. I didn’t hear the conversation but the employee looked helpless and subservient and the bald guy looked like… well, like a pointy-haired boss who didn’t understand what he was doing but was damned if he was going to back down.

After seeing the hapless employee, a twenty-something, tall and skinny and dark-haired, finally shrug, the bald PHB (not a contradiction in terms) said, annoyed, loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear, “Well, you should find out because I imagine you’re going to get this question a lot!

Jerk.

The twenty-something guy (he wasn’t a waiter, and wasn’t a cook… cashier, basically) saw that I had a computer out, too, and stepped over. “You’re online right now, right?” he asked me hopefully.

“Yes,” I said, finally paying them some non-hidden attention.

“Where do you put in the password to get connected?” he asked, stepping around to see my screen.

Damn. Where was my “No, I will not fix your computer” t-shirt? At home in the laundry. I could empathize with the poor kid, but the PHB was being obnoxious about the cost-free wifi. I didn’t feel like rewarding the PHB for his rudeness. So, even though I knew very well how to connect a Windows PC to a wireless network, I feigned ignorance.

“Sorry,” I said, pointing at my beautiful bright wide-screened sexy laptop with it’s lick-able interface, “I’m using a Mac. It just… works.”

“Oh,” the kid said, knowingly but disappointed at the lack of assistance, “yeah… it just… finds the network, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said brightly. “Sorry!”

The kid shuffled back over to the PHB. “Well… let’s try this again…”

I feel a bit guilty but dammit, I’m not tech support for the world. There’s a reason I get paid a lot to work on Windows but choose to use a Mac for personal use.

They did, eventually, figure it out, which made me feel better for the kid but I didn’t like the smugness of old-and-baldy. Oh, well, not my gig.

Breaking fast

Mmmmm…

My favorite breakfast:

  1. Grande soy no-water, no-foam Tazo chai.
  2. Cinnamon roll
  3. Flirting with Sara[h] the redheaded Starbucks barista

Man, if cinnamon was a girl, she’d be a redhead.

Flirty tech

Note to self:

Keep telling women:

“If you’re nice to me, I’ll let you play with my iPod.”

‘Cause it seems to work. Just sayin’.

Move fast through tunnels of the underground

Now that I’ve got my MacBook Pro, I’ve added all the pictures in my gallery to iPhoto, and installed FlickrExport, a plug-in that allows me to send pictures straight from iPhoto to Flickr.

I have, in fact, just added a few pictures from a “ghost tour” of the Portland Underground I took with my sister and her family in December ’02.

The Portland Underground is the name for all the tunnels and rooms below street level that were used in the late 1800s for smuggling and slavery, including impressing hapless drunks and loners into serving as ships’ crews. It was a fun tour, although the emphasis on “ghosts” during the tour seemed a little overdone…

I’ll be adding more pictures later… now that’s it’s easy-peasy.

Smacky not amused

It’s March, for crying out loud. What’s with this snow?

Smacky was outside last night. Around midnight he was anxious to get back inside. It was funny ’cause it seemed like he was giving me hell for all the cold, wet, white stuff outside.

He thinks he’s in charge of making me laugh and bugs, and I’m in charge of everything else. That includes weather. Obviously I’ve fallen behind in my duties.

Not about farting

Oh, sure, I see how it is.

I stop writing about my exercising, and Dooce goes and blathers on and on about her and her husband and an elliptical trainer and farting and a chatty gay exercise nut she used to know.

Web 2.0 is so unfair.

Is that what I have to do? Do I have to write about farting while exercising?

I’m running tonight. After my dentist appointment. And, yes, I might even fart.

Meta: tired

Man, is it just me, or is this place looking a little… tired lately?

Someone should do something about that.

Switching

Is it just me or has there been a rash of Windows-to-Mac switching going on lately?

On a personal level, one friend switched last fall, plunking down the cash for the last PPC iMac (he’s not bitter at all that his machine was obsoleted in just a couple of months – he’d hoped for at least a half-year before that happened but it was not to be). Another friend is considering purchasing a shiny new MacBook Pro to go along with his career change from government functionary to graphic artist extraordinaire.

Then comes word of a more momentous change: Gabe and Tycho, a.k.a. Mike and Jerry of Penny Arcade, hard-core PC and console gamers, have in the last week purchased their first-ever Mac OS systems, soothed in their decision by the presence of a familiar piece of hardware inside: Intel.

Jerry’s musings on the topic of switching are well worth reading.

Then, prominent political blogger Josh Marshall, of Talking Points Memo, after manfully not complaining bitterly about problems with a Gateway computer, and the company’s support (or lack thereof), initially resisted the siren call of the Mac loyalists but eventually succumbed and appears to be quite happy with his decision.

Even professional attention whore (I mean that in the nicest way, I swear; after all, look what I’m doing right now, only I’m not getting paid for it – pity me!) Heather Armstrong at Dooce found and linked to a post from someone who fought against the mental image she had of a Mac user… and only gave in when she realized that defying the stereotype would be satisfying. Y’know, as opposed to just realizing that the stereotype was incorrect…

And John Gruber at Daring Fireball, after reading about Josh Marshall’s initial resistance to conversion, had some interesting thoughts on the topic, pertaining to why folks might resist switching when, in all likelihood, they would benefit hugely. Somehow, because of the wide choice of commodity hardware, using Windows on top of that cheap hardware is seen as a more cosmopolitan platform? Crazy talk, to me.

Mr. Gruber is a confirmed Mac user, and by his own admission to me in email, never uses any other platform but isn’t evangelical about the platform – unlike someone like, say, me, who is forced to support Windows at work and retreats to the comfort of the Mac OS at home.

So what’s with all the switching lately? My first thought is that it’s because Macs now have Intel inside and that makes them somehow less exotic. But maybe this is a longer-building trend that is only now reaching the point where I start to notice. I had an ex-girlfriend who purchased an iMac two years ago after her home was broken into and her H-P PC was stolen. And my father switched quite happily almost 10 years ago when he became more involved in photography as a hobby. And, of course, my friend mentioned above switched prior to the PPC-to-Intel change-over (and he’s not bitter about the timing of that at all).

I’d like to think it was because of my powers of persuasion… I’d like to think that…

Other people’s stories

What’s almost as good as having a missed connection of my own?

Watching one happen for two other people right in front of me.

This morning, gray, cold, damp but not raining. Pioneer Place Mall, outside Saks. Small group of 4 men and women, apparently employees, waiting by the employee entrance on the sidewalk.

From across the street, a Latina, mid-30s, black slacks, bosomy, about 5’7″ but wearing heels, comes running in that odd gait women in heels use. Her gray long coat flying behind her. She has keys (apparently the store keys) in her hand. She’s smiling. A store manager?

Walking towards me, a black man, over 6′, thin but athletically graceful, wearing a sharp gray suit and black woolen overcoat, a stocking cap on his shaved or bald head. His mouth open in amazement around his trimmed goatee as he watches the bosomy Latina running. The woman does not see the black man in the suit – her eyes are focused on her staff or co-workers.

The woman reaches the door and starts to unlock it, as the tall man in the suit, still gaping with amazement at the woman, literally plows into one of the other employees, completely oblivious to anything but the bosomy woman.

I walk past, smiling to myself, as the man in the suit and stocking cap apologizes to the Saks employee and the bosomy woman lets the rest of her staff into the store, ignoring the man she has so stunned with her appearance that he’s stumbled into one of her employees.

Was there a connection? I’m betting the man wished there was…