If I sit and wait for inspiration, chances are it is not going to show up. Inspiration is great but it is not reliable. Not for me, at least. I don’t have a muse. The gods did not gift me. I don’t even believe in gods and even if I did, it would be the height of ego to assume they would grant me anything.
No, I do what I do, which parenthetically, right now is writing, because I am stubborn as the mule-iest mule what ever did mule. I don’t give up. I might take breaks sometimes, but if I intend to do something I will always come back to it and I will always complete that task. To call me bull-headed is to say you might be surprised I don’t have long pointy horns. Oh maybe that metaphor got away from me.
No, I have a duty to show up, except that duty is for the silliest things, like having exactly the same breakfast for years in a row, or trying to reach 500 days survived on one save in The Long Dark. Or driving my car into the ground because it’s easier than shopping for a new one.
Or for writing at least 500 words a day and posting it on my blog, like I’m doing now.
Many times I don’t have an idea about what to write. I joke about it with Tracy. I’ll send her a message “I don’t know what to write about tonight” and then 20 minutes later I’ll send her a link to the post I wrote.
And it’s true that lately I have been going very meta, writing about how I don’t know what to write about, or musing about motivation vs. habit. I didn’t promise that every post would be award-winning. No, my promise is to just keep going, to get into the habit, so that if and when I am inspired by something, I can channel it and put that inspiration to words, hopefully capturing some of the essence of random ideas with good foundations.
Every author I’ve ever admired could be described as prolific, because they just don’t stop writing. I shouldn’t compare my output to their drafted and re-drafted, vetted, edited, and published works, though. I don’t get the privilege of seeing any of the earlier versions of those stories. So I won’t.
Me, I’m the obstinate fucker who puts it all out here for anyone to see, the good, the bad, and the boring. You can trace the tensions and joys of the past 4 months by my daily output. Sometimes I do have a good idea and the right frame of mind to share that idea in the best sentences I can muster. Those are the good days. Good ideas, good days. Bad ideas, still an okay day as long as I post something. No ideas, still have to write and post something. It’s all about the posting something.
Ain’t no destination. It’s entirely the journey, y’all.