Category: General

One month until the 4th Anniversary of my first blog post here.

Unlike previous years, I’d like to plan something special.

Not sure what, though.

Feel free to post ideas in the comments…

For most of my life, for whatever reasons, I’ve felt alone, isolated, alienated. It didn’t seem to matter to me that I had many good close friends, and the love and support of my family. I felt what I felt.

I had one main skill, an ability that went back to my earliest memories and that had practically defined my identity: storytelling. I loved hearing, reading, and most importantly, telling stories. I collected them. And somewhere along the way, collecting stories became collecting characters and people. And that caused me to think of myself as somehow separate or even above other people. I’m not proud of this shift in my consciousness. I’m just putting it out there.

Basically my skill at storytelling fed into, and reinforced, my isolation. And that meant that I wasn’t actually telling stories. I was just an outside observer, a watcher of others.

Lately, though, a different idea has been filtering into my brain.

I can connect with other people – by telling stories. What else, after all, is a story for, but for the telling? That’s what our brains do – they tell stories. It’s not my own personal skill, it’s the trait that defines humanity. We keep the past and the future in our heads, not just the present. Animals can be smart in the moment, but they don’t appear to create long-term strategies and compare and contrast them. Animals can learn from their past behaviors, but that doesn’t seem to translate into the beginning of a story. Humans tell and love stories.

I’ve been human all along.

Walking around downtown last night, I was seeing people in a brand-new way, it felt like.

Beautiful, explosive, sad Stormy, tiny dancer at Devil’s Point, who told me Friday night that when she’s not dancing she’s becoming one with her bed. “Nice bed,” she mimed petting the mattress as she laid down, and laughed softly. Was she sleeping so much because of depression? Drugs? An illness? All of those, sadly, seemed equally possible.

The tall, androgynous girl in black slacks and shirt who sat next to me at the Stumptown Comics Fest Saturday afternoon. She showed me her sketchbook without my prompting. She had a series of scars or burns across her inner forearm. She talked to me impulsively, almost compulsively. She wanted to be ready to show her art at next year’s festival. Where did those scars come from? What did she see in me to start talking out of the blue?

The blonde girl who sat near me at Backspace and kept playing with her hair while surfing; I toasted her – Cheers! – with my coffee and she smiled and returned the toast. What was her story? Did she live in the Pearl and just want some late-night coffee? She was dressed in nice shoes, gray slacks and a red blouse; professional-casual, not for clubbing or dancing, and not Goth-y or Emo like the usual Backspace customer.

More importantly, why didn’t I share my own story with these people? Why do I nod and ask questions, but avoid talking about myself? Or tell them about each other, if I don’t feel like sharing my own story… Maybe they all need to connect, and I’m the linchpin?

One thing I did learn while volunteering at the comics festival was that I can get a charge out of talking to people. For a while I was the greeter for people entering the exhibition floor. I checked to make sure people had paid, or directed the exhibitors to their booths, told people where they could find bathrooms or the closest ATM. Boring stuff. But I also got to compliment people on their costumes, or notice the books or artwork they were carrying. I met the friend of the guy who drew the Keepin’ It Real Frog because I spotted the K.I.R.F. on a t-shirt. I talked to another volunteer who had experience in extreme cold-weather construction techniques because he’d worked on Antarctica. I spotted many a fine hat, and people noticed my own trusty fedora – we were brothers and sisters in the lost art of hats. Geeks, it turns out, love hats. Maybe people in general love hats, actually. I don’t want to be too exclusive. I saw a friend of a friend who also knew me through Backspace, and she bared her back to me to show a brand-new tattoo, less than 24 hours old.

And… it was fun. When I have a role to play, I can be talkative and friendly. It’s just that, in normal circumstances, I forget the role that I play, or forget that I can take on whatever role suits my fancy.

And I love storytelling. Can I tell you a story?

Holy crab, is it the end of the fundraising quarter already? Sheesh. I chipped in $25.00 to Steve Novick, Democratic candidate running for U.S. Senator Gordon Smith’s seat.

I could’ve gone and just given money to the eventual nominee, but I favor Novick’s brand of progressivism over the other Democratic nominee, Jeff Merkley, former Oregon Speaker of the House. But, honestly, either one would make a far better Senator than Gordon Smith. The Bush Administration holds the country and the Constitution hostage mainly through the support of the Republican minority in the Senate. The Republican Congressional delegation (and, sadly, increasingly, the Democratic leadership as well) seem hell bent on throwing away their own power as a co-equal branch of government by enabling the Bush administration to: ignore the laws passed by Congress through signing statements; create enclaves that it claims are outside of US law, the purpose of which is to imprison and torture people that have not been accused of a crime and are refused any legal recourse; pack the Executive Branch organizations with toadies and incompetents who put our lives at risk by ignoring their sworn oath to uphold the Constitution, instead pledging loyalty only to the President. And so much more.

Steve Novick is on the side of the majority of Americans and Oregonians on many issues: universal health care, getting US troops out of Iraq, returning to the 500 year-old principle of allowing all humans the right to challenge their accuser in court (habeas corpus), and holding the Executive Branch accountable in order to prevent future administrations to abuse the powers Bush/Cheney have claimed in their devastating terms in office.

So… y’know…just sayin’.

Wow, do I have a lot of questions about this little video:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlpKNeJMsgc]

Why did Luthor want to know why the peanut butter tastes so great in the first place? Why did he waste the opportunity to destroy Superman forever just to ask him about peanut butter?

Why didn’t Superman just tell him? Will that knowledge somehow give Luthor an advantage of some kind?

Why did Superman just lock Luthor into Luthor’s own secret lair? And wasn’t it kind of mean for Superman to taunt Luthor by eating the peanut butter with the kids? That’s not really very nice.

And, wait a minute – what’s the deal with Luthor’s lair having an easily-accessible window from which the kids can watch? What kind of evil super-villain is Luthor to leave that wide open? I mean, sure, it seems kind of cool that he’s got a castle, but, damn, man, why not beef up the security a little? I mean you’re enemies with freakin’ Superman! The guy can see through walls, and is stronger than just about any-freakin’-one! He can fly! Heat vision! Use a little more common sense, man!

How did those kids find that lair in the first place?

When did Superman feel the need for money that was so bad he had to license peanut butter in the first place? The man can literally squeeze coal into diamonds! He can turn back time if he feels like it! Between those two abilities, he can pretty much retire with, oh, I don’t know, all the money in the world! I sure hope that the proceeds for that peanut butter are going towards sick children or something, ’cause, otherwise, I might have to start rooting for Lex Luthor. The man just wants to know why it tastes so good. I hope it’s not some “special ingredient” like human flesh or something.

…my head spins from all the questions. I really want to know the rest of the story.

I’ve got a lot of music that I “inherited” *cough, cough* from an older music collection. Most of the songs are singles or incomplete albums, and off and on I’ve shopped around for the CDs of those albums, so that I can complete my collection. In an ideal world, I’d own legal physical copies of all my music, and someday, I will realize that ideal world.

I have, in the past, used the iTunes Store to fill in albums like that. That’s not an ideal solution for a perfectionist like myself, however – the older tracks are MP3s, without any digital rights management to lock me in to one player or device, and the iTMS tracks are encoded as AAC files and locked to only allow me to play them on my iPod or up to 5 computers. Which is more of a problem than a non-geek might think, because I use five computers as a matter of course; my new sexy thing (laptop), my home PC, my web server, and two different computers at work. OK, technically I can’t use my work computers for personal music, but I’ve seen my boss listening to stuff in iTunes on his work laptop so I feel perfectly justified in using mine, too.

It seems that Amazon has come up with a solution that gets me most of the way to where I want to be. Their new MP3 download service offers DRM-free MP3-encoded songs. Right now there’s “only” 2 million tracks, but it’s a lot of back catalog stuff, it seems, and that’s what most of my individual songs are. It’s useful for filling in the missing gaps in my collection – legally. Of course I could just pirate this stuff but I like the option of staying within the law. Y’know… sometimes I like to work with authority, and not against it. Keeps me unpredictable.

Just sayin’.

I’m also kind of please that Apple may face some actual competition on the music download front. Amazon seems like it’s got a great thing. If they can talk the rest of the music oligarchs into releasing more un-encumbered tracks, Apple is going to have no choice but to follow. If I vote with my dollars for Amazon I’m really giving Apple a little tough love. And that’s OK.

Truth is, I’ve never spent a dime on iTunes – all my “purchased” tracks were paid for with promotional codes. Oh, wait, I did buy a gift certificate for Tracy one year for her birthday. Other than that they didn’t get any money from me. For music, I mean.

Walking across the Burnside Bridge last night on my way to Debate Club, I spotted a crumpled up sheet of lined white paper, covered in handwriting. Picked it up, uncrumpled it, and found the following (transcribed as closely as possible, retaining original punctuation and spelling):

Begin transcribed letter
*****
On 4-202 On 4/7-02 I was comeing from Portland OR. I left about 900 PM I was Heading to lower grants Pass I was ABout 10mile From the Motal and I stoped to take a piss. I pulled over ond the Left side of the road when I was done. I started to take off and the tires of my slveR truck spun in the gravle and sldid me OFF the Road. I let OFF the gass and the moter Died And I laid in to the Dich.

A call A Towe TRuck about 2:30 AM the tow truck SHoed up and could not pull me ouT He was to small. He call some one cause it was cold and the wind was Blowing. A car came by ABout 300 AM and I got a ride from him to the motel at Boyer Park. The night crew was just getting OFF work. And was drinking so I told them that I got stuck in a dick. They lafted. So I started to drink [scribbled out – unreadable] with them [scribble] . Around 3.30

Over [page two – second side of paper]

A Drank with them [scribble] I got a ride [scribble] Back to my truck to meet the tow truck About About 10 min the truck showed up. And said He would not tow me out of the Dich un till a cop showed up. I had to be At work at 600 AM to get the my crew going. And then I was going to go back to my truck

so I got aride from onof the outher contrcker that was going by on His way to work

I was on the job side and a cop showed up and Told me that the I left the sean of a AckADNT. I said There was No AckADNT. So I went with the cop Back to my Truck.

This is when He Started to Read me my Rights.

I told Him I was not Drinking when when I got my truck stuck.

*****
End of transcribed letter

A sad tale, yes, but most importantly, some beautiful found art.

I love all the references to “The Simpsons Movie” in the intro to the Season 19 opening episode.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyZlbe7HDyE]

…especially Spider-Pig.

Will they use this one all season long (with appropriate changes, of course)? Or was it a one-off?

Tonight I’m going to The Portland Mercury’s Debate Club, which will cover the topic of Measure 49, the ballot measure that will apparently restore some of the land-use planning measures that were wiped out by Measure 37 two years ago. I’m basically pro-land-use planning so I’m leaning towards Yes on Measure 49, but I’d like to know more. This month’s Debate Club (the Merc has been doing one per month since the start of summer) will have spokespersons for both sides, pro and con – not all of the topics they’ve chosen have had that kind of representation, which I don’t hold against the Merc staff at all. In any case, I’m looking forward to it.

Debate Club starts at 7:00 PM, so between my leaving work and going to Rontom’s for booze and politics, I’ll likely be hanging out at Backspace in Old Town, and drinking way too much coffee. And possibly catching up on last night’s season premiere of “Heroes”, which I missed because I was catching up on the weekend’s season premieres of “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy”. So busy I barely have time for television. Which is just the way I like it. But the “Star Wars” parody on “Family Guy” was kinda funny. I thought it would be funnier, though…

I still haven’t seen the season finale of VH1’s “The Pickup Artist” and don’t spoil me for who wins, please. I may not get to watch that one for another day or two.

This weekend I’ll be volunteering at The Stumptown Comics Festival, on Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. Plus this week I need to bop around and put up some posters for that event. I’m hoping that I will meet some social geeks and have some fun. Barry, the organizer for the festival, promises via email that it will be “easy volunteering” – I’ll likely have lots of time for socializing in between my work duties.

I’m still filling in my social calendar for Wednesday through Friday… there’s got to be lots of stuff happening in the Rose City between now and then. Chime in if you’ve got something in mind… I’m open to invites…

“Hello?”

I never saw her face. Just heard her voice. Young. Still burred with sleep.

“I so hope you’re not asleep right now.”

She was on the phone with someone. She sounded like she was embarrassed but had to talk. She was sharing a secret.

“You’re not asleep? OK, because if you were… I’d… I don’t know. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I really really like Cory. No, I mean really, really like him!”

We were on the bus, she in the seat behind me. I just sipped my coffee, sent off some texts to my Twitter page and Tracy, and listened.

“I know! He’s so cute!“

I tuned her out for a bit, until she said:

“Hey. You must be asleep. I’m on my way to school… Just wanted to tell you that I have a boyfriend now. Yeah. I know! Cory. I’m not going to say anything more on your voicemail, but… yeah. OK. Um, see you. Bye!”

She called someone else? Funny. But just a few seconds after, I heard her voice again.

“Hello? It’s me. You will not believe this. I have a boyfriend! I know! I really really really really really like Cory.”

This was her third call in about 10 minutes. Was she going to call all of her friends? Being a boy, I wondered what happened last night for this girl to decide Cory was her boyfriend. And what was Cory thinking this morning? Did he share her feelings?

My stop approached. I left her to her social networking.

I attended U.S. Representative Earl Blumenauer’s Town Hall today, as I mentioned in my last post. I signed up to speak, but didn’t get up right away to join the two long lines that formed behind the two microphones. I wanted to gauge the tenor of the crowd.

And every person who spoke urged impeachment. Impeachment of President Bush, and President Cheney. Some people praised Blumenauer’s good works and thanked him for the opportunity to speak at this public forum. Some few people told the Congressman that they did not trust him or his words, and at least one man screamed that Rep. Blumenauer was a coward for taking no action. Everyone spoke with passion.

They all called for impeachment, and to end the war in Iraq. Now, not later. Every single person.

I wish I could remember all their stories, their names, and their words. Maybe video of the event will be put up at some point. But of them all, one man’s story will stay with me. He spoke of a tree, in NE Portland, on 45th and Alameda, that displays pictures of a young man who grew up and played in the same neighborhood as the very theater in which we all stood. That young man was killed in Karbala by a cluster bomb laid by our own forces, using weapons America legally should not have been using, according to this man. And the news of this young man’s death reached his father, the man speaking, on 2 July 2003.

How did I remember the date, if I’m unable to recall the words of all the other speakers? Because this man, voice shaking with the anger and sadness and loss of a parent who has outlived his child, said that when he went home after hearing of his son’s death, he turned on the television to see President George W. Bush tell the enemies of America, “Bring it on!”

President Bush and his courtiers are not the ones who are paying the price for the war and all the other mistakes our government is making. We are. And the message I heard from the citizens in that theater today is that we will not pay this price any longer.

Please, Congressman. Bring that message back to Washington D.C. and make your colleagues take action.