Category: General

I ran tonight along the river and past the wetlands. The frogs were croaking and ribbiting loudly. Almost deafening.

If that’s not a sign of spring, I don’t know what is.

What? There’s a holiday today?

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Happy 199th birthday to Charles Darwin!

It doesn’t look likely that humans will grow up enough to fully accept the revolution you started this year. Next year doesn’t look good, either.

Maybe by your 300th birthday.

I spent so much money, drank almost as much as I drink while on vacation, flirted and cuddled on the couch with chicks I just met, enjoyed live music, ran 5 miles, ate delicious food in good company, spent time with friends, pampered a sick friend, drove fast and hard in a car I didn’t own…

And trust me, it sounds much better condensed into a sentence like that.

Although many parts of the weekend I will cherish forever.

Guess it’s time for Monday. Ugh.

This morning I was shuffling around in my dark apartment, curtains drawn, in my underwear, waking up after a late night drinking. I can tell it’s sunny outside but I’m not quite ready to let it in yet.

My doorbell rings.

I run to get my bathrobe. No one knocks on my door, ever, normally. I figure it has to be important. But while I’m running around trying to cover up for this emergency that has someone at my door, they knock again. Must be urgent.

I glance through the peephole at the same time I’m pulling the door open, but all I get is a flash of dark hair and white blouse.

Standing at my door are two young, pretty, Asian girls, in crisp white blouses and pressed knee-length skirts. Are they going to try to convert me?

I smile nervously and slightly hide behind my door, aware of my hairy naked white legs, even though everything unseemly is covered up, for some reason.

The first girl leans back upon first seeing me, and after the awkward moment, she says, “Oh, we’re sorry! We were looking for Korean people!”

My last name is Moon. They must have gotten my name and address from some ethnically-sorted list. I get junk mail in Korean all the time. My nickname in high school (one of them) was “The Reverend”. But my ancestors came from England and Wales, at least on my dad’s side.

“It’s actually an English name,” I say, my voice crackly with sleep.

They’re backing away, nodding, shaking their head. “Oh, is it?” the first girl says, and then they’re gone.

Looks like I don’t get to cross that item off my list of things to do before I die. Not today.

“Chalupa” means “boat” in Spanish, but it means “house” in Czech.

In English it’s just delicious.

It’s just a little lighter in the morning when I leave for work.

Here comes the sun.

Yesterday I slept for 16 hours total.

Today, porn stars are teasing me about my hat.

OK, it’s just one porn star. But, still.

When I walked into the building where I work, which is coincidentally the county headquarters, there were cameras and reporters and roped-off lines, and in the lines (already, at 7:30 AM) there were domestic partners getting their domestic partner paperwork and getting domestically-partnered. Makes me proud to be an Oregonian. We’re so forward-thinking.

Well, most of us are, anyway.

So how long do we have to maintain the fiction that they’re “separate but equal”? How much longer until we can just say they’re getting married, like everyone else, and it’ll be normal?

Tonight I’m checking out a hybrid car from my car-sharing program and drive down to the Vegan strip club.

Oh, yes, I am.