Revisit

Revisiting the To-Do list I posted on Friday:

  • 5000 words on my as-yet unfinished NaNoWriMo novel.

I did about 1000 words. I really had a difficult time overcoming my internal resistance to starting this. I spent most of the afternoon Saturday at Backspace, with the file open and staring at me on my laptop, but I kept surfing around instead. Then today, I tried writing at the local coffee shop, and again, surfed instead. Finally tried to open the file in WriteRoom, a full-screen editor that’s supposed to block out all distractions and let me concentrate on just writing… and discovered that I had uninstalled it. Had to go find it and install it, then had to configure it… yeah. I was all distracted. I finally went back and re-read what I had written before, started laughing at my hilarious writing, and then got going for a bit. So… 1000 words, give or take. I got started.

  • Do the dishes in the sink. ALL the dishes.

I did half the dishes. Another partial completion.

  • Outline of two other novels kicking around in my head.

…um, no.

  • Start running again (haven’t run in two weeks).

Yes! I ran 3.5 miles on Saturday, and I rode my bike for over an hour (two trips, one to Fred Meyers on Johnson Creek, and once to the QFC for groceries). So, exercise has begun again. Just hoping the endorphins will kick in soon.

  • Probably get really really drunk at some (or several) point.

Check. Saturday night.

So, um, mission partially accomplished. Yay, me.

Tonight I watched some stuff that had been automatically recording and piling up on my DVR hard drive. Walked up to Video Lair to see if there was anything interesting to rent (nope) and ate three donuts that I didn’t really need (chocolate iced creme-filled, raspberry jelly filled, and glazed). I’ve got a book I’m reading about happiness; not a self-help book, but an amusing pop-science look at how people look for happiness and why our brains work against us in that pursuit called “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.

Untitled

Finally got up the nerve to ask the coffee shop owner her name (again). It's Nicole.

Warming up

I’m warming up for my blast of writing, the writing that’s going to finish the first draft of my novel “Impoverty”, started last November during NaNoWriMo, and begin the long process that will catapult me to fame and fortune. Or something. Here’s some tidbits I noticed around town as I made my way to this comfy blue couch on which I shall spend the afternoon.

  • Three friends (or rather, four friends, but two of them are married to each other so it’s three separate groups of friends) have gone camping for the weekend (to different places). Two of the friends are still texting me, however, so I’m questioning just how much they’re actually “roughing it”. But the friends who aren’t texting me don’t normally text much, so maybe they still have cell service and they’re just busy and having fun.
  • The mannequins at the Victoria’s Secret store don’t have much of an ass. Really kind of flat, though heart-shaped. Not much booty.
  • There are still crowds around the iPhones at the Apple Store. I guess the coolness doesn’t go away after only a month. Yes, I had to touch the iPhone.
  • Backspape, the coolest place in Portland ever, just got even more cool: as part of their August art installation, they’ve put in a freakin’ treehouse. It overlooks the also-new stage for musical and other events. I asked the cute barista and she said that it’s probably permanent. Yes. Simply… yes.

To-do

This weekend…

  • 5000 words on my as-yet unfinished NaNoWriMo novel.
  • Do the dishes in the sink. All the dishes.
  • Outline of two other novels kicking around in my head.
  • Start running again (haven’t run in two weeks).
  • Probably get really really drunk at some (or several) point.

…annnnnnnnnnd that should get me through to Monday. Busy, busy, busy.

Hurt

Hurts to struggle though the day.

Hurts more to ask for help… and be refused.

Who hurt whom?

Phone coda

During the movie, I thought I saw her – the iPhone girl. It was hard to tell in the darkened theater, but she had the dark hair, and the curve of her jeans as she sat down… except her hair was longer, and she wore narrow black-framed hipster glasses. I turned to the folk I sat with, and started to point her out, and tell the story, but they began the sing-along and I lost the chance.

I watched her during the show, from time to time. I grew less and less certain it was her, the same girl. But she was still attractive, and she laughed and sang along and she fit in with the rest of the crowd, as we all let our “Firefly” freak flag fly.

When the credits ran for the last show, and the house lights came up, and we all trudged down the stairs from the balcony, spilling out into the night, I spotted her again, and this time, she pulled out her cell phone. A normal, ordinary, non-sexy flip phone of some kind. Definitely her phone, and definitely not an iPhone. Not the same girl.

On the sidewalk, I said goodnight to my new friends, and walked behind the theater to get in my car. The dark-haired, jeans-wearing, hipster-glasses sporting, normal cell-phone having girl walked past me, with a taller brown-haired female friend.

I could hear the words in my head: “Excuse me, do you have an iPhone?” I didn’t say the words. I got in my car. I put the key in the ignition. I was moving very slowly. I turned the key. The engine started.

The girl and her friend leaned against their car, talking softly, nodding at each others’ words.

I put the car into reverse. Backed out of my spot. Rolled up beside them on my way out of the lot. The tires crunched in the gravel.

I pushed the window down button. I leaned forward. My eyes were probably deep in shade from the brim of my hat in the orange halogen light.

The words I’d imagined, the question I already knew the answer to, spilled from my mouth. “Excuse me, do you have an iPhone?”

The girl, so cool and collected when talking to her friend after midnight in the movie theater parking lot… scrunched up her face in surprise and let out a near-screech. “Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

I was smiling in embarrassment. “An iPhone? No?” From the fortress of my car I still felt vulnerable.

The dark-haired girl was mouthing the words of my question silently, shock having taken her voice.

Her friend, her back to me, glanced over her shoulder, rolled her eyes. “No,” she said in that parenting voice one uses with the slow of brain, “we don’t have an iPhone.” She seemed to be both annoyed with, and used to, her friend getting strange questions from men.

“I’m sorry, you looked like someone I’d… uh… seen… before.” I bowed my head in apology, raised the window again, and drove off, laughing at my strange sense of bravery. Or foolhardiness.

Whatever.

Thanks iPhone girl. I owe you one.

Good dog bad dog

Yesterday I was walking through my neighborhood listening to my iPod (System of a Down’s “Mesmerize”) and feeling friendless and alone. I heard a dog barking and two little girls shouting, and I looked up from gazing at my navel to see a large-ish black German Sheppard running towards me, a leash dragging along the sidewalk behind him.

The two little girls were about 10 (I’m a bad judge of age) and were chasing after the dog, but they were far, far behind him and the dog showed no signs of slowing down. Dog’s tongue was hanging out, his tail was wagging, he looked like he was just playing, actually. The girls were shouting and laughing for the dog to stop.

The dog got to me and, since I was a stranger, ignored me and tried to run past. I looked at the girls and then put my foot out and stepped on the handle and the leash started to pull from the spool (it was the kind that winds up into the handle). The dog felt the pull, and slowed to a stop, panting hard from his run.

The girls ran up and fell over the dog, laughing hard and telling him he was a bad dog (but from the tone of voice they weren’t mad – they were likely glad that the dog hadn’t gotten away). They thanked me, briefly, but mostly paid attention to the dog, as they caught up his leash and led him back home.

That was the last time I did something nice for someone, I think. At least more than just holding the door or something small. It felt good. It made me smile.

Damn straight

Cary Tennis is a genius. And compassionate as well, when he says:

“Our wishes, after all, are very close to feelings. Like feelings, they are not always rational. But they deserve respect.”

Last Tuesday at the Mission

I sat on the sidewalk, pulled my new sexy thing out of my bag, and tried to find some free wireless to connect to. Had another 75 minutes, at least, to wait until “Firefly” at the Mission Theater started. Got here early and the line was already around the corner. I was alone. Again.

In spite of there being several signals, including one called “Mission”, I was unable to connect. Damn. Should’ve brought a book to read. I put my laptop away and stood up. Three 20-year-olds were bragging to each other about voting only to piss other people off. The guy ahead of me was playing Tetris on his cell phone. The girl behind me had called someone “Sweetie” on her cell phone. Time passed.

The girl behind me was slowly joined by several other people. She’d been holding a place in line for them. I wondered which one was “Sweetie” but she didn’t seem particularly close to any of them.

More time passed. The line compressed forward in such a way that I moved around the corner to the front of the building. I watched people walk by. The group directly behind me grew a bit larger.

The girl who had held the line tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around, smiled politely.

“Is your Mac one of the new ones? With the LED screen? I saw you had it out earlier.”

No, I explained, it’s the first Intel model. I’d had it 2 years.

She said that she’d recently switched from Windows to Mac and she had one of the new, LED-backlit screen models. She loved it but had some occasional problems. We chatted about that for a bit, but my conversational energy slowly ran out.

A lull ensued.

The girl didn’t seem interested in talking to the rest of her group.

She turned back to me and asked me about the chickenbutt button on my messenger bag. I laughed and told her the reply: “Guess why? Chickenthigh.” We talked a bit more about other things, like “Firefly” and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and movies in general. I introduced myself; she told me her name was Sherry.

She would have been here with her husband but he was home, sick and asleep. She was originally going to hold a space in line for her husbands friend, Mike, but somehow it had expanded and she didn’t even know some of the folks in her group. She’d moved here from Florida, married and divorced and married again. I told her that most of what I know about Florida I’d read in Carl Hiassen books; she laughed and said it was pretty accurate.

And, after a bit, she asked me if I was there alone.

I said yes, started to say more, stopped.

She said, “Would you like to sit with us?”

I could not have been more touched. A stranger in a line, out of simple friendliness, invited me to join her group.

Of course I said yes. I thanked her. I wanted to thank her profusely but was able to stop myself.

It was exactly the gesture I needed.

I sat with their group. The last time I was here, I was alone and on the outside. Tonight, I was with friends. New friends, but friends nonetheless. When I bought a brownie to snack on, I offered some to the rest of the group. They saved me a seat while I stood in line for beer. And when laughter and conversation caused us to miss a line or two, we asked each other what we had missed.

And when Mike, sitting behind me, did a spit-take at a particularly funny scene, and I felt a gentle rain of beer droplets on my head, call me crazy but I laughed. Mike was mortified that he’d spit on me, but for that one night, I didn’t care. I told him he was fine. Mentally I made a note that if I sat with this group next week, I would use this as leverage to get him to buy me a beer… but it wasn’t that big a deal.

After the show, as we wandered out of the theater, I spoke to Sherry. We had discussed just how early a group would have to show up in order to have a good place in line, and I’d offered to get there very early next week to save a spot. Sherry gave me her card – she was a professional pet-sitter.

Of course she’d invited me to join her group. She takes in strays. How perfect! I smiled. And then I left.

I smiled all the way home. And next week I’m going to make Mike buy me a beer. It’s all good.