Getting started is almost always the hardest part. I am certain I’ve said that on this blog before. I’ve said it before because it’s true, at least for me and the way my brain works. Once I get going in earnest on a task, distractions fade away. Honestly I only get distracted when I don’t have an interesting or urgent project I am working on. My attention span is all or nothing, it seems.
If I am distracted, in a distractable state, I bounce between sources of that sweet sweet dopamine; music, games, social media, around and around I go. If there’s something I should be working on that does not immediately fit into the categories of interesting or urgent, and I’m able to muster a shred of duty, engaging my executive function feels like I am dragging a recalcitrant dog on a leash toward home.
Right now, as I write this, I’m having to pull that pup hard. On one screen I have this app into which I am tapping out words. On the left screen I have a video going, just to have another human voice as background. The video is of Jawoodle, a YouTuber, playing my current obsession, 7 Days to Die, the zombie horror survival multiplayer online crafting game. Did I squeeze in anough descriptors to that?
I really enjoy that game. Jawoodle is Australian and his boisterous and friendly voice is fun to listen to. And I don’t need to pay close attention. He can ramble as he wanders the wasteland and if something amazing happens I can turn away from my writing, and rewind to watch.
Something amazing might be a close call with zombies, some choice piece of loot, or an interesting new place to raid. I need to write but my eyes and attention wander over to the left to stop and watch the moving pictures. Come on, pup, we need to get back to the task at hand. I know you don’t want to, but we have to. As much as I’d love to let you have a free run, I have a streak to keep going. Gotta keep writing.
Nope, lost focus briefly. Jawoodle found a bunch of legendary parts in a clothing store; I zoned out to his count and joy. This dog (my brain) wants to hunt (do nothing at all). I am burning all my attention fuel trying to keep writing this post. I think I was going somewhere with all this but the light at the end of the tunnel is fading. I’m writing but I feel lost in the darkness. My feet feel the train tracks but my eyes are useless in this pitch black.
The ending is coming up soon. Is my stream of consciousness writing lately at all of interest? As I’ve said before, I’m just putting in the time, building the habit, so that when inspiration and the muse find me again, I am ready to receive the blessings. My writing these days is more like a prayer. A hope for a better day when I am able to turn my interior feelings into words that can transmit those feelings to another person. That’s you, the reader. Hope you stay tuned.