Coinky-dink

First name of the Oregon State Trooper who stopped at the scene of my accident: Ryan.

First name of the Apple Store Genius who confirmed the damaged hard drive in my MacBook Pro: Ryan.

The wait at the Genius Bar was about a half-hour after my Concierge “scheduled” time, which would normally be quite irritating, especially on a Saturday during Hell Month (which is what current and former retail employees call the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas; I still have nightmares about my 6 Christmases working at the mall). But for whatever reason I was patient, and I was friendly with Ryan the Genius. He booted the laptop on an external drive, ran Disk Utitlity, saw the error, noted it, and filled out the paperwork for the repair.

The longest delay was when he tried to find out if they had the drive in stock, but no luck. They’d have to order it, which wouldn’t arrive ’til Tuesday, at best.

Hush, hush, keep it down now. Voices carry. Argh.

The best part, though, was when Apple Genius Ryan (they must get so much shit because Apple decided to call their tech support “Geniuses”) found out I was using Quicken. I mentioned it as the one file I would like them to save off the hard drive if they could. He started asking me about setting Quicken up to download transactions from Bank of America. Heh. I tried to help as best I could (I could use a little karma this weekend) but I’m afraid my vague answers were unsatisfying. Hey, at least I tried.

So I’m new sexy thing-less until the end of the week, assuming the part comes in as expected, they get the repair done quickly, and they don’t decide the drive failed due to negligence on my part, which Apple can do (as I know too well, having worked in Apple tech support in Austin, TX in a previous life). Ugh.

Gee… sure would be nice to have an iPhone right about now…

More suckage

No “Did You See..?” post because it was saved on the hard drive of my new sexy thing… which has chosen today to refuse to boot up.

Yes, the hard drive in my laptop appears tosted a nice golden brown. Worked all weekend, but as soon as I got home and tried to use it, it started making click-y death noises, then locked up. I rebooted and found the “folder with a question mark” staring back at me.

Long story short… gone, daddy, gone.

Yay. Thanksgiving.

Off to the Apple Store I go…

Ancient Chinese secret

My fortune cookie on Tuesday said, “In a few days, you will come out ahead.”

I don’t think this is what I had in mind when I read that.

I was very lucky. No one was hurt (my wrist is sore but nothing broken and no blood), no other cars were involved, and the kindly Oregon State Trooper did not cite me. Plenty of people stopped to help me, my sister and brother-in-law were only 15 minutes away and came to my rescue, and even American Express is going to cover the accident (at least it appears so at this point, cross your fingers).

Note to self: always use American Express for car rentals. Y’know… just in case.

I’ll post more details later but I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m safe and I did end up having a happy Thanksgiving after all.

All in all… I think, in retrospect, that I did come out ahead, after all.

I don’t even know

I’m so glad my work day and work week are done. It’s been a slog.

I was picked up tonight by Edgar from Enterprise, and after some small talk (sales guys are so talk-talk) and some paperwork, I was handed the keys to a 2006 Pontiac G6.

Tonight I eat a modest dinner, finish up my laundry, and pack.

Tomorrow morning I get up early, run the ORRC Turkey Trot 4 Miler up at the Oregon Zoo, then shower and change and drive to the City called “Lincoln” situated on the shore by the gentle waves of the Pacific Ocean, there to meet with my family, eat massive amounts of food, bicker lovingly over the tiniest of trivia, and drink liver-damaging amounts of alcohol.

I may or may not stay all weekend. If I find myself over-eating on the day after Thanksgiving, I will come back, because I still want to be sexy and skinny on the beaches of Cancún in December. Or at least not too much un-skinny-er.

I may or may not post. I think there’s wireless down at the family beach house but I’m not 100%. I have a post ready for Saturday’s “Did You See..?” so at least, you’ll see that.

Before I head off, though, I wanted to offer my thanks for this year. I am thankful for:

  • My surprisingly healthy body;
  • my inquisitive, skeptical, and amusing brain;
  • the roof over my head and the bed in which I sleep;
  • my loyal, honest, loving friends;
  • my caring, passionate, deep-thinking and -feeling family;
  • the wonders of science and engineering that allow me to communicate with and learn about the world;
  • and strip clubs, filled with the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, and passionate women.

And thanks very much to all of you out in InternetLand, who come here to read my words. I am humbled and delighted by your readership. Without it, this blog would be a lonely place, indeed.

Simple wishes fulfilled

On my way to lunch with friends, I texted Tracy:

I want to sing loud punk songs @ karaoke.

…and right after that, 94.7 FM played The Sex Pistol’s “Anarchy in the U.K.” Awesome! I sang along, loudly.

Then I got to have lunch with my friends. Awesomer!

Then, driving back to my office, I flipped the radio over to 101.1… and they played The Dead Kennedy’s “California Über Alles” and followed it up with The Sex Pistol’s “Anarchy in the U.K.” again! Awesomest! More singing loudly in the car!

I guess things aren’t so doom-and-gloom all the time.

Broken echo

Echoing The One True b!x, I feel broken, too.

I’m paying my bills, and I’ve got a job, and my apartment may or may not be cleaner than b!x’s, I’m taking my vitamins…

…but I can’t concentrate, I can’t sleep, I have very little energy to do anything but sleep all day, everything feels like a big gray nothin’.

Maybe it’s just my brain that’s broken?

And it feels like it’s felt like this forever.

But… that can’t be true. Can it?

Five questions and five answers

Saturday night I decided to hit my favorite strip club for some late-night drinkin’ and fun. Because I was feeling generous, and because I was feeling experimental, I decided to buy (at least) one private dance from each girl dancing.

Rocket was on stage when I got there. I watched her two-song set, tipping a couple bucks per song, and when she finished I asked, “Can I get a dance?”

“Sure!” She held up a finger. “Give me a minute.” She gathered up her money and disappeared backstage, and exactly one song later, she emerged, took me by the hand and led me back to the private dance booth.

Before she began, I noticed that she had the beginning of a new sleeve tattoo. It was outlined but not filled in yet. I asked her about it. “Here, feel,” she said, “It’s brand-new. It’s still raised up.” I felt. It was.

“You heal fast,” I said.

“I do!” She began dancing as the song started, lifting her arms up in the air and turning slowly around. “I’m an alien from another planet.”

“A very sexy planet,” I said, in my best Austin Powers voice.

Technically, I didn’t ask Stormy for a dance. I spotted Stormy out on the floor, returning from the DJ booth after picking the songs for her next set. I didn’t even have to ask; as soon as she saw me she just assumed I wanted one. “Hang on, I’ve got to give this other guy a dance first, he’s been waiting a while, I’m so sorry is that OK?” The words tumbled out of her mouth, and her hand brushed my cheek.

I was amused, and a little irritated at the presumption, and I told her it was OK. Since I planned on getting dances from everyone, I wasn’t going to find myself in the “waiting for Stormy” mode I’ve found myself in on previous nights. Get immediate attention from Rocket, or wait all night for Stormy? Not a tough choice… Stormy can take her time.

Stormy apologized and asked me to wait at least twice more, while I enjoyed the stage show and drank. I flirted with Lux, the model-thin Asian dancer. I watched the crowd, and watched a group of girls in their twenties flirting with each other and the dancers on the stage. Always a co-ed crowd at Devil’s Point.

In spite of Stormy’s flakiness in the club, she gives the best private dances. Bar none. I ended up buying two private dances from her. ‘Nuff said. I staggered out of the booth afterward and bought another drink. She said over her shoulder as she rushed back to the dressing room, “Don’t forget to say ‘bye’ before you leave!”

While waiting for a chance to ask Lux (dancers at Devil’s Point don’t spend a lot of time out on the floor hustling, surprisingly enough. At least not that I notice), I sat at the stage and watched Stormy. One of the three girls I had noticed before sat down next to me, turned to me and said, “Can I have a dollar?”

“But… you’re not naked and on the stage.” I said, mock-confused.

She pointed at Stormy. “I’m just going to give it to her. Please?”

Feeling a bit like a sucker, I handed the girl a dollar. She held on to it until Stormy came by, then waved it in the air like a flag, prompting some close, personal attention from Stormy. OK, watching that was worth a dollar. Still felt like a sucker, though. After that set, I wandered back to the bar for another drink and some more ones; I was running out.

When I returned, all the seats at the stage were full, so I took a table with a view of the stage. I’d get up and toss a couple bills per dancer, waiting to catch Lux off-stage. Finally she walked by.

“Hi!” I said. “Are you up next?”

She nodded.

“Can I get a dance after?”

She nodded again. “Sure!” She curtsied.

After her dance, in the booth, she asked me my name. She’s asked me before. I reminded her of that, smiling, and told her again. “I’m Brian.”

“I’ll remember this time!” she said. “It’ll be easy. You’re like Brian, the dog on ‘Family Guy’!

“Well,” I said, “I am incredibly intelligent. But I’m not covered in hair all over my body.”

Lux bent down, and carefully lifted the hem of my shirt just an inch or two exposing my stomach. She let it fall, stood back to up face me, smirking. “I don’t believe you.”

“Fine, dammit. You caught me!” We laughed.

Last girl working that night was Aris. I waited for the end of her stage set and asked her, as she was collecting her money, “Do you do dances?”

She shook her head. “No.” I’ve never seen her dance, though I have heard the DJ implore the crowd to ask her for one. “But the other girls do,” she said.

I laughed. “But I’ve already had dances with the other girls. I wanted one from you.”

She gave me a mysterious look and, saying nothing more, went backstage. Had I crossed a boundary by asking everyone? Had I acquired a reputation? If so… what kind? Or was it simply that Aris did not, in fact, give private dances?

I had done what I wanted. And closing time was approaching.

I waited a bit to say goodnight to Stormy, who ignored me the one time I saw her out on the floor again. Then I went home.

Accidents happen

I accidentally didn’t run my planned 9-mile run tonight.

I accidentally didn’t eat dinner, either.

And all because I accidentally took a nap.

Now it’s almost 7 PM and I’m just awake enough to realize how tired I still am.

Oops.

launchd & me

This is a really technical, geek-y post and is probably of interest to very few of my readers, but over the weekend I finally figured out how to use Apple’s launchd to run my web stats program on a nightly basis.

Up to this point I’ve been ssh-ing into my server and running it manually. Kind of a pain. I’m more like a power user than a full-fledged server admin, though, and I hadn’t sat down and taken the time to figure out what needs to go where to get the process to run automagically on its own.

There are plenty of tutorials out there for using cron to run something. But I knew a couple of things:

  1. I was going to be using Mac OS X to run my server,
  2. Apple had come up with a nifty, Mac OS X-based tool called launchd,
  3. launchd was the primary method for scheduling, starting, and maintaining ongoing processes in Mac OS X Leopard (10.5)

…so it was a good thing to learn how to use the tool I was given, rather than rely on older tools.

Here’s a quick summary of the steps to take:

  1. Set up the script or program you want to run – I wrote a simple shell script to run webalizer.
  2. Write a text file in XML format that:
    • names the process;
    • gives the command for running the script (with the full path to the script);
    • names the time and frequency of when it should run.
  3. Save the XML file as a .plist into the proper directory – I put mine in /Library/LaunchDaemons/;
  4. use launchctl to load the plist as a process.

If you’re scared or unfamiliar with the command line, there are some GUI tools that help with this. The biggest help to me in getting started is a free program called Lingon. Lingon may be all that most users need; I needed to use the command line on my webserver, but I’m now also using Lingon on my laptop and home Mac.

Hmmm… I really meant this originally as a “yay, me!” post but I can see me turning this into a “How-to” post for anyone out there who might want to learn this, too. I’ll do that later, maybe. This is not a How-to.

For now, I’ve got the key to running programs on a regular basis on any Mac running 10.4 or newer… like finally automating that backup process I use from time to time. Or emailing my servers’ logs to me. Or… well, the sky’s the limit. launchd not only is able to run something on a periodic basis, it can watch a directory/folder and take action when the directory changes, or watch a continuously-running process and keep it up and running if it stops or crashes (lots of people use it to keep Quicksilver running).