Not qualified or suited for the commercial enterprise of moving goods and materials, part 2

Sent the following email to the major online retailer I mentioned yesterday:

I ordered Win2K Pro from your company last week early on a Wednesday. I paid extra for 2nd-day Air shipping, expecting to receive it before that weekend. I am a computer consultant and was ordering this product as an upgrade for a client. However, due to some bizarre mix-up at UPS, the shipment (which started in Delaware and was to be shipped to Oregon) ended up in Germany.

I am not making this up. I have the tracking number.

I have made other arrangements with my customer, but need to return the copy I ordered from you. However, I am unable to do so because the package STILL has not arrived. It would be easiest for me if you simply cancel the shipment and refund my purchase price. I do not want to have to deal with waiting for the package to arrive, then turning around and shipping it back to you. Please do your best to make this happen, and keep me informed as to the status of my request. Thank you.

I’ll post any response I get from them regarding this. I find this most amusing.

Not qualified or suited for the commercial enterprise of moving goods and materials

I have to post this. I ordered some software last week from a major online retailer, for a client, and paid extra for 2nd day air so I would have it by the weekend.

Well, Friday rolled around, and no software, so I checked the website to see what was up:

Ship Method: UPS Second Day
Tracking Number: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Status: IN TRANSIT
Shipment Date: Mar 17, 2004
Destination: Portland, OR, United States
Order ID: XXX-XXXXXXX-XXXXXXX

Date Time Location Service Area Checkpoint Details
Mar 23, 2004 01:37:56 AM KOELN (COLOGNE) DE HUB SCAN
Mar 23, 2004 01:34:20 AM KOELN (COLOGNE) DE HUB SCAN
Mar 22, 2004 06:51:42 PM MAIA PT HUB SCAN
Mar 22, 2004 08:06:00 AM MAIA PT ROUTED INCORRECTLY AT UPS FACILITY;PKG HAS BEEN REROUTED TO DESTINATION
Mar 22, 2004 08:03:00 AM MAIA PT UPS INTERNAL ACTIVITY CODE;FORWARDED TO DESTINATION
Mar 22, 2004 06:11:54 AM MAIA PT FLIGHT DELAY FOR MECHANICAL REASONS
Mar 22, 2004 04:38:22 AM MAIA PT HUB SCAN
Mar 22, 2004 03:45:14 AM MAIA PT HUB SCAN
Mar 19, 2004 12:19:08 AM KOELN (COLOGNE) DE HUB SCAN
Mar 18, 2004 12:25:13 AM PHILADELPHIA PA US LOCATION SCAN
Mar 17, 2004 11:54:00 PM PHILADELPHIA PA US UNLOAD SCAN
Mar 17, 2004 11:09:00 PM PHILADELPHIA PA US ARRIVAL SCAN
Mar 17, 2004 10:17:00 PM NEWARK DE US DEPARTURE SCAN
Mar 17, 2004 06:58:52 PM New Castle DE USA SHIPPED
Mar 17, 2004 06:07:12 PM NEWARK DE US ORIGIN SCAN
Mar 17, 2004 02:32:38 PM US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

Would you believe… it was in Germany! Funny, that. It shipped from Newark, Delaware, and was being shipped to Portland, Oregon. How it ended up in Germany I’ll never know.

On top of that, the flight back to the US was delayed for mechanical reasons.

And on top of that, the client has since changed their mind about upgrading. So I’ll have to fight for a refund on it. Hopefully the fact that it’s been so badly misrouted will help my case.

Adding back

As of tomorrow morning, I get 200 more calories to eat each and every day.

Since I’m so close to my goal, I’m slowly adding calories back into my diet, so that the pounds don’t slowly add themselves back to my body.

It’s kind of interesting, actually. For the past four weeks I’ve lost an average of 3 lb. per week, which, at 3500 calories per pound, equals 10,500 calories per week. Since I’ve allowed myself 1650 calories per day, in a week I’ve taken in 11550 calories.

If you then add those two numbers together (the ones I burned, and the ones I consumed), then my total calorie needs for my current activity level is… drumroll, please

3150 calories!

That seems like a lot, doesn’t it? Makes me wonder if I’m making a math error somewhere. But I don’t think so… I’m pretty active lately, with the running and the swimming and the cycling and the stair-climbing and all that.

So, that’s what it would take for me to maintain my weight. Which, after four weeks of calorie-counting, and the previous months of Atkins dieting, seems like an incredible feast. It’s twice as much food as I’ve been getting.

Therefore, I don’t want to jump back up to that level. I’ll add 200 calories per day and increase by another 200 calories next week, until I’m closer to the 3150 calories per day level that seems like my balance point.

When I started the diet, it took time for my body to start shedding pounds; likewise, there will be a resistance to my body achieving a stable weight. But if I suddenly were to double the calories I took in, that would cause a spike in my weight, and tip the balance back the other direction (that direction being “gaining weight”).

I’ll probably still count calories for a while, though, at least until I get used to estimating how much I need to eat to maintain my weight. I’m learning a new skill!

But, tomorrow, what to do with those 200 calories? The possibilities are endless!

Work-around

Mini-rant: Telemarketers are getting around the Federal Do-Not-Call list by claiming they’re “just doing a survey”. I’ve gotten three such calls in the past week, and they just laugh when I tell them that a) I’m on the Federal DNC, and b) they’re calling a cell phone (my home number forwards to my cell phone). They say they’re still within the law.

*grumble, grumble*

Self-coaching

My “coach” is in Nevada visiting family this week, so I’m kind of on my own setting a schedule. When I talked to her last week, though, she said that I’d be getting back to running, so I’m going to include some running.

Last week, which I didn’t post here, was all cross-training; no running. Which, as difficult as it seems, was actually difficult to me. My friends noticed a certain edginess in me, which I mainly attributed to the lack of running. Weird. The cross-training was mostly upper-body stuff, swimming, and cycling. It was supposed to help me heal my sore hamstring, which I think it has succeeded in doing.

The main problem (have I mentioned this before?) is that my legs are of unequal length; my right is about a half-inch longer than the left, which is going to cause me problems unless I get some kind of orthotic correction. Bleh.

Anyway, next week I’m going to run three days, and do some other workout (probably upper-body) twice, and take two rest days. I figure two “short” runs of 2-3 miles, and one long run of 4-5 miles. Should be fun…

It’s getting harder to fit in my exercise, since I’m getting busier and busier. For one thing my side business is picking up Might just be a spring break seasonal thing, but I’m hoping it’s more of a trend caused by word-of-mouth: the more customers I get, the more they tell others about me, which generates more customers.

Better and better. It’s easier to take the shit at work when I know there are people who will gladly pay me more than twice my hourly rate to do the same stuff. And I’m good at the basic stuff, and also friendlier than the average tech.

Brilliant

Saw “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” last night. I’ve been waiting for this movie to come out for months now. Charlie Kaufman is an amazing writer, having written “Being John Malkovich”, “Adaptation” and “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”, all of which I thought were excellent. And, from the previews of “Eternal Sunshine”, showing scenes of bizarre contrasts (and Kirsten Dunst dancing in her underwear), overlaid with the perfect choice of music, ELO’s ridiculously over-the-top ode to optimism “Mr. Blue Sky”, all hinting at the underlying premise, I realized that Mr. Kaufman is now doing in film what Phillip K. Dick was doing in novels 30, 40, even 50 years ago. It’s about time movies caught up with the printed word.

The premise is simple to describe, but carries a lot of depth and room to explore: Joel and Clementine (played by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet), having had a bad breakup, each decide to undergo a procedure where their painful memories of each other are erased. The movie is told from Joel’s point of view, and as he slowly loses both the good and the bad memories of Clementine, he has second thoughts, and struggles, from within his own mind, to stop or reverse the process.

The incredible depth of feeling shown by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet in their roles is contrasted with the goofiness of the technicians performing the erasure; those scenes, with Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, Kirsten Dunst, and Tom Wilkinson as the creator of the process, Dr. Howard Mierzwiak (goddamn Kaufman comes up with great names!), distract needlessly from the story I most wanted to see, although Kaufman does tie it back together at the end.

But the few sour notes (like Kirsten Dunst’s character and her subplot) do not take away from the painful beauty of watching Joel re-live his relationship with Clementine, peeling back the rotten outer layers and revealing the quiet moments of love and awkward beginning of her coming into his life. Anyone who has fallen in love and watched it fall apart can empathize with the lovers on screen; laughing at their giddy highs and wincing at their spiteful bickering.

When Dr. Mierzwiak asks Joel to collect everything that reminds him of Clementine, my first reaction was astonishment; when someone has been that close to you, it seems that everything can carry a reminder of that person. How could someone quantify every connection they had with a lover? Because, oftentimes, it’s not just small mementos or trinkets or cards that are the vector of a relationship; it’s also places, certain streets or cafés… or even songs or singers or actors… or even concepts, ideas… You get the idea. Our lives intertwine with the other to the point that extracting them from our lives is impractical, possibly even unrealizable. But Dr. Mierzwiak treats this as just a simple step in his process of exorcism, and Joel’s earnest acceptance of this reflects the characters’ naïeveté.

Of special note is watching Joel enlist his memory of Clementine in his quest to save his memories of her. It’s treated in an almost off-hand way, but I immediately picked up on it (all those PKD stories have prepared me for this type of plot twist, I think. I miss you, Phil). Is Joel interacting with just his memories, or is this, in fact, the “real” Clementine? Since, back in the “real” world, Clementine has also undergone this process, did she, also have doubts once she started to lose Joel? There is obviously some connection between the lovers, but is that a mundane material connection of having shared some time together… or is there something more that links the two, even to the point of existing, in some small way, in each other’s heads, that allows them to join forces and counter the erasure?

Brilliant. I will see this movie again.

This movie is Most Highly Recommended.

Lopsided

Something I’ve recently become aware of, due to my better physical condition and all the running I’ve been doing: my right leg is longer than my left one. By a significant amount. I’m having a devil of a time measuring my own legs, but as near as I can tell, there’s at least a half-inch to an inch difference.

I first noticed it on the elliptical trainer; the right pedal would travel farther in its arc than the left one. Then, after the last time I ran Terwilliger I started having pain in my right hamstring, which “coach” warned me not to ignore.

So… trouble. Dammit.

New on the “Barely tolerating” list today

Two new items!

  • Phone droids who can only read from a script — I had to call a famous national shipping company today, to try to find out either why my package hadn’t arrived yet, or to try to arrange other shipping options, and the person on the other end of the phone (and I use that term generously) sounded more like a computerized voice than a real human being. Whenever I tried to engage “her” in conversation I could hear the ruffling of papers as she tried to find her lines… so frustrating.
  • Able-bodied people who insist on using the button to open doors for them — Several of the buildings I support have those buttons next to their doors, marked in blue with the stick figure in a wheelchair, intended for opening doors for folk who are either in a wheelchair or on crutches, or otherwise can’t open the doors for themselves. I’ve seen delivery men use them when they’ve got a cart full of packages or their hands full. But what in the name of Hel of the Helheim hell hall is up with people using the button just because they’re frickin’ lazy? It’s entirely possible that some of the folk I’m judging to be able-bodied have some form of disability invisible to the eye, but I swear on Odin’s missing eye that a large majority of the people entering my place of work use that damned button, and they can’t all be disabled.

Team Saponified

Below is the team picture for Team Saponfied, taken immediately after the 2004 Shamrock Run. Click on the image to be taken to the image in the Flickr photostream.

From left to right, that’s your friendly blogger (Brian Moon), Caleb Phillips, and Becky Llanes.

Team Saponified 2004 Shamrock Run


Update: I have updated all the links and moved the picture to my Flickr photostream. 5 May 2009 – BAM