The Joy of Eating

Still thinking about joy, motherfucker, do I feel it? I probe for the feeling of joy the way someone would poke the socket where thier tooth used to be. It’s missing. I don’t know where it’s gone. I have to think about it, which I know is less than ideal. It should bubble up from my feelings-place. Laughter and happiness, not cold analysis.

I might need to make it a practice to try to spark joy in my life. I will have to seek it out. Find joyful things, expose my heart to them, ask, “what does this make you feel?”

But I did find one thing recently that always makes me feel good in the momemnt. A category of thing: food. There are many kinds of foods, meals, that I just love. I can list a few of them, and how they make me feel.

Brian’s Burger

There’s nothing like biting in to a big old cheeseburger. To me, the perfect cheeseburger starts with thick, medium-rare beef patty that’s been seasoned with salt, pepper, onion and garlic. To begin, in-between a toasted bun (Kaiser rolls are great), I want catsup, spicy brown mustard, thick slice of medium cheddar cheese (as an Oregonian, it’s hard to beat Tillamook brand) that’s been melted onto the patty when it was cooked. Garnish with fancy lettuce (I tend to buy 50/50 spring mix of baby greens and spinach), slices of pickles, white or yellow onion, tomato slices (Roma tomatoes have the best flavor).

Add some banana peppers just for fun. Maybe a drizzle of sriracha for spice. Also could add slices of bacon for flavor and texture. Now that’s a good burger. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Making and eating one of these is absolutely a joyful practice for me.

Pad Thai

There are meals that I love that I don’t know how to make. One of these is pad Thai noodles with chicken. At its most basic it’s a sauce made of tamarind paste and fish sauce, stir fried rice noodles, and veggies and some protein (chicken is my favorite). I know that in Thailand it’s not really fancy food, it’s street food, simple and easy to make and serve. Just haven’t attempted to make it myself.

I remember a trope on sitcoms back in the 80s and 90s was someone taking a pad Thai class. It was a signal that that character was pretentious and upper-middle class. They had spare time enough to take a class to make a specific kind of Asian food. It’s entirely possible that that idea soaked into my brain and has created a barrier that won’t let me learn how to make it. Kinda sad, if true.

But eating it is absolutely a joy for me. Accordingly, when eating it, I love the tangy sauce, the slippery noodles, and the cruncy bits of bean sprouts, green onions, sliced carrots, as well as the ground peanuts (I always order extra ground peanuts.) Simple, filling food that I would eat many times a week if I could. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t know how to make it? I might learn to get tired of it. Until then, though, joy.