characterized by or preferring the state or situation of being alone

I haven’t been getting out much. Except for my regular Friday nights out with the guys to see Battlestar Galactica’s final episodes at the Bagdad Theater, and my obsession to become a regular customer at the Delta Cafe, and getting to and from work, I haven’t spent a lot of time outside of my apartment.

I’m not sure why that is: a long, cold winter; most (but not all) of my friends living in other counties and me not having a car; the pressure of financial tightening as the economy worsens; or even grumpy-old-man-ism, a preference for being inside and away from strangers.

Perhaps none of these. Perhaps some of them.

I’ve even had invitations from new friends to hang out, spend some time, be social and have fun. Some, like Neva’s birthday party, I accepted. But several I have not. It’s not them; it’s most definitely me.

I lack the energy to dig into my own motivations. I think I’m afraid to find out what they are. At least, I think that, I don’t know for certain. Because… I’m afraid to examine my own motivations. Duh. QED.

I haven’t run in over a week. Last week, after feeling some pain in my groin for several weeks, I finally got up the courage to visit my doctor to figure out what it might be. My fears ran rampant, as you might imagine, considering the sensitive area the pain was in. But it turned out to be a simple ligament sprain, a “sports hernia”, requiring nothing more than some prescription NSAIDs and rest. My doctor, Dr. Carl, once he’d eliminated all other causes, demonstrated definitively for me that that was all it was – he literally put his finger right on the tendon and the spot where the pain originated from, and further demonstrated that rest would relieve the pain.

Running is my anti-depressant, on top of allowing me to eat donuts for breakfast and not gain weight and giving me an excuse to be outside and active. Take away my running and I fall inward.

Luckily the waiting and resting is over. I’ll be able to run again soon. And hopefully my mood and my energy will return.

And hopefully I can lose the several pounds of… um… fuel… I’ve gained in this short time.

I think the lack of energy is contributing to my blogger’s block lately, too. It’s harder for me to come up with a post a day. So excuse this free rambling. I’ll be back on track soon enough.

Spring can’t get here fast enough, for so many reasons.