Lucas Rant [B5 – 27 April 2005]

For the 30 days following this blog’s five-year anniversary, I am reposting some favorite, popular, or unique posts. Feel free to contact me to suggest some of your favorites. If you’d like to comment, click through to the original post.

Whatever I may have thought of him when I was a teenager, it’s obvious that George Lucas has become a hack. His genius is not in writing – it’s in designing toys and marketing. Here’s a post from a few years back that reacts to this saddening news.

What the fuck? George Lucas had to force himself to write Episode III? He lacked “inspiration”?

What a crock of shit!

Listen, this is the middle part of a story that has already been told! There are no surprises here, none. We already know that Anakin is going to become Vader. We already know that Amidala is going to give birth to twins. We already know that Obi-Wan and Anakin are going to fight it out, probably above a volcano. We already know that Vader’s going to hunt down the Jedi, and that Obi-Wan and Yoda will escape.

This movie should have practically written itself!

What, did Lucas need inspiration in how to fuck up everyone’s childhood memories? Did he need inspiration in how to include stoopid CGI characters that nobody liked? Was he not “feeling it” in trying to figure out how to include characters like Han Solo, in order to make his galaxy seem as small as a rural country town?

…oh, don’t get me wrong. I’ll see it. I have to. It’s a compulsion, like buying Cake CDs just so that you don’t have an incomplete collection. Argh.