Medical lapdance?

I’m filling out my medical insurance enrollment forms. Ugh. Comparing all the options, and deciding what kind of coverage I’ll need in the coming year, is making my head swim. But, at least until President Obama can enact some kind of health care reform, it’s probably to my benefit to pay attention to all this. Y’know, be prepared.

The “Plus PPO” plan is an extra $36.80 a month and it covers “Alternative Care”:

50% up to $450 – special plan year. You may use any licensed chiropractor, naturopath, or massage therapist

Now, chiropractic or naturopathic “medicine” is pseudoscience. I would no sooner give money to receive that kind of treatment than I would give to a church.

But… “massage therapist”?

Wait a minute. Let me think about this. What kind of “license”? How closely do they check these things?

Would, say, a lapdance from Stormy count as “therapy”?

I wonder if she’d be offended if I asked for a receipt next time I was at Devil’s Point…


Turns out I was reading last year’s forms. I haven’t found this year’s forms yet. So the cost and benefits may be different. But I’m still considering asking Stormy for a receipt. I may have found a loophole that will allow me to subsidize my hobby… 9:11 AM – bam