High Finance

There’s no freakin’ financial crisis.

How do I know? Well, a spokeswoman for the Treasury just admitted they pulled the numbers out of their asses.

“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

And thank Invisible Sky Man that Sen. McCain has bowed out and conceded. Now the election will just be a formality and we can get on with repairing the damage 8 years of conservative rule has done to our country.

…what? McCain only suspended his campaign so he wouldn’t have to show up at the debate? I thought he was battle-tested and ready to take command on Day One?


This “crisis” can definitely wait for another couple of months, when we’ll have a president who can walk and chew gum at the same time.