Regarding Apple asking for, and receiving, special processors to put in their MacBook Air

FADE IN: Backstage at The Moscone Center, shortly after the 2008 Macworld Expo Keynote. Intel CEO Paul S. Otellini is striding through a hallway with his subordinates, laughing and happy. He walks into a room past a large security guard, sits down. An aide hands him a bottled water, while another one sets down a new MacBook Air and opens it up.

SFX: C&C Music Factory’s “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” plays.

Otellini pulls his iPhone out of his pocket, which is the source of the music, glances at the screen to see who is calling. He smiles, then slides his finger across the screen to answer the call.

Otellini: Sir Howard! How pleasant to hear from you!

CUT TO: The glossy black office of Sony Corporation of America CEO Sir Howard Stringer. He is talking on speaker phone and surrounded by stone-faced subordinates. Stringer is red-faced, standing and leaning on the table.

Stringer: (Yelling) How could you do this? Not only are they getting faster processors, but you… you… made them smaller?

CUT TO: Otellini’s room.

Otellini: (logging in to his MacBook Air) Yes, we did. On both counts.

Stringer: (v.o.) And then you stood there while Jobs compared their new laptop to our top of the line Vaio?

Otellini: Yes. Just so.

Stringer: (after a pause) But why? Why did you do that for Apple and not for us?

Otellini: Quite simply, you didn’t ask.

Otellini launches Safari, then puts Stringer on speakerphone and places the iPhone on the table. He continues to type and click on the MacBook Air.

Otellini: They really are marvelous machines, Sir Howard.

SFX: An inarticulate scream of rage erupts from the iPhone

Otellini startles at the sound, grimaces, then scoops up the iPhone and hands it without looking to a subordinate. He goes back to his web-surfing. Subordinate pushes the red “END CALL” button.

Otellini: (softly) Yes, marvelous machines.