I’ve got notes that I took immediately after the naked bike ride on Saturday night, and added to the following day, and I’ve been meaning to turn them into a huge long article.
But… minutes turn into hours, and hours turn into days, and before days turn into weeks I must stop and post something. I’ve put these snippets, these bits ‘n’ pieces if you will, in chronological order. They should have enough context to make sense. That’s my hope, anyway. They make sense to me.
After this, I want to write about how I felt, and how I continue to feel, about the experience. This post is just about the act and the little conversations I had along the way.
At the tie table, I pulled out a tie with tiny little ducks all over it, and showed it to the cute blonde next to me. “If you like ducks, this is the tie for you.”
“Well, if you like ducks, maybe you should wear it. Do you like ducks?”
“I’m partial to ducks.”
“What kind of ducks? Mallards?”
“Wood ducks, mostly.”
“BOY ducks?” she said with a smile.
I laughed. “Wood ducks!”
“But if you liked boy ducks you’d only like about 50% of them,” she pointed out.
“Oh, no, don’t get me wrong. I like the OTHER 50%.”
She was completely dressed. I caught up to her. “You kinda stand out,” I said to her.
She laughed, nervously. “Really?”
I said, “Well… you’re not NAKED.”
Indignant, she replied, “I took my top off!”
I can’t tell which made me laugh more: the guys who wanted to high-five me, or the guys who WOULDN’T high-five me.
“Man, when I wake up, this is going to be the BEST DREAM EVER.”
People are either saying, “I’m so drunk!” OR “I’m NOT DRUNK ENOUGH.”
Lady: “It’s good to see that you’re wearing your reflectors.”
Me: “Well, I want to be seen.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! I don’t mean to MOON YOU.”
Every man in the military, mostly sailors (I didn’t see any women in uniform), got a “Thank you for your service!” from me.
My quadriceps are gonna hurt like hell tomorrow.
On Front Ave., some of the floats from the Grand Floral Parade were parked. I stopped long enough to pull out a purple flower and stick it in my helmet.
As I mentioned, the party theme was “office casual” and back at the party there was a pile of ties from which to choose. I had one, and wore it all night. About two thirds into the ride, I realized it was covering me up. I wanted to be naked. So I flipped the tie around to dangle down my back.
“My breasts just suddenly got cold!”