I’m glad you asked

What kind of dreams do I have?

Glad you asked! Strange ones.

Last night I dreamt that I was going to take a practice run, my last run before the Bridge to Bridge 5K this weekend. I started out running, in slow motion (of course) and found myself recreating the actual B2B route. As I got near the Memorial Colliseum / Rose Quarter Arena, I got worried about dodging traffic (normally they close off the streets during the real race, but this was a practice run. So I was careful to stay on the grass. I couldn’t remember the actual route but I figure I can make it up as I go.

Pipe down! I know, I know, this is all normal. I’m getting to the weird part. Sheesh.

I spot, ahead of me, a pile of boulders as large as houses, piled up on the side of the street. I worry about running around them and still avoiding cars, so I slow down even more (barely moving now). I notice that the road isn’t entirely level, and some of the boulders are shifting, which makes it even trickier to manuver around them. And, sure enough, one of the boulders shifts enough that now it’s rolling straight towards me. Luckily I’m nimble enough to get out of the way, but now, all the boulders are rolling down the street my way and it’s suddenly like that scene in “The Empire Strikes Back” where Han is flying around the asteroids. Even the boulders look familiar now. Except I’m still running in the street, and to my right is the Memorial Colliseum and off to my left is the Steel Bridge.

I’m finally pulling even with the pile of rocks, and I notice an overturned dump truck that obviously was carrying the load of boulders only the truck seems like it’s been smashed. Then I almost get pelted by a rock from the sky! After a second or two, another one comes flying down. I look up, and I see a third one arcing towards me from the river. It smashes into the pavement. A fourth one (I told you I was running really really slow, right?) slams into the side of the Colliseum. It’s all I can do to avoid them but I manage.

I decide to turn towards the river and run across the Steel Bridge. And… I’m there (must have sped up) but I’m having to climb up into the superstructure of the bridge to avoid traffic. And down by the docks I can hear a maniaical laughing, and a periodic fffTHOOMB! noise like… well, like giant boulders being shot into the sky from a tube. I look down from the bridge superstructure and see a guy in a booth, kicked back, feet up, laughing crazily, and repeatedly hitting a big red button. For every button he pushes, another boulder goes arcing towards the Rose Quarter.

I’m dodging through the metal beams trying to keep a good pace, but I have to crouch down and it’s hurting my time. I pull even with another guy running along, and I point out the laughing man in the booth down below me. The runner turns to me and says…

And then I wake up.