Explanation of today’s catchphrase

There’s a weird security lady in the building where I work. I used to think of her as just bitchy; the first interaction I ever had with her, I was bringing a computer and monitor into the building, and she lectured me about using the “normal” elevators instead of the freight elevators. She’s usually very deadpan. Remember Cloris Leachman from “Young Frankenstein”? Like her but on Xanax.

Anyway, my buddy Ken thinks she’s crazy… and creepy. And he interprets everything she says in that light now. He takes every opportunity to point out how crazy she is. Yesterday, Ken and I were both coming in at the same time as these two guys in coveralls. We must have looked curious, because Creepy Security Lady (CSL) mentioned to us that those two worked in the building. As we get on the elevator, I say something smartass like “Yeah, I try to do that sometimes, too.” And she starts laughing.

She continues to laugh, while standing in front of the doors, as the elevator closes. It’s hard to describe in print, but it was creepy the way she continued to laugh. It gave the impression that she would still be laughing if we went down there again.

This is all setup. Today Ken goes down to get his breakfast (they make yummy and cheap breakfast burritos across the street at Cafe 400) and when he came back, he said CSL stopped him and pointed to his bag. “Getting some breakfast?”

“Uh, yeah.” Ken said he scooted around her to get into the elevator. “I try to eat it every morning.”

Deadpan, she replied, “It’s the most important meal of the day” as the elevator doors closed on Ken.

When Ken told me the story, I cracked up. There was more, but I made him go back and say that line multiple times, and it took him quite a while before he could repeat it with the poker face of CSL again without laughing himself.

Hoo-boy. Still gets me. It’s especially funny out of context.