I woke up, barely, this morning and realized that I could not come in to work. I wish I knew why I feel like that sometimes. I don’t link that feeling to anything besides a strong desire to simply hide in bed all day.
I say I hate my job, but when I actually sit down and list the things I’d want in a job, my current job meets most of them, even in spite of the antagonism between my boss and myself. Downtown location, lots of variety, decent pay, doing stuff I know how to do well, the side benefit of working closely with law enforcement (I always wanted to be a detective; have I ever mentioned that?) Really, except for the awful relations between me and management, and the near-total lack of challenge, my job is pretty much perfect. Oh, I’d like more flexible hours, too, but now I’m just whining.
And socially things are going well for me this week, so that’s not something to hide from. Caleb and I are planning that road trip; that’s going to be fun, and it’s giving me something to look forward to. Then there’s my diet, which I’ve successfully completed, and my newfound energy and running…
There’s nothing bad going on. So why am I so drained? Why do I feel like there should be dark clouds overhead? Am I wishing there were more bad things in my life?
I dunno. It’s counter-rational.