Lunar Obverse

Turning data into a story

2010-02-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

first, I saw that Michael Lopp, writing as Rands, posted a long, thoughtful essay on the hierarchy of information, and about how the data points available to us are getting shorter and shorter (going from long newspaper articles to short, 140-character tweets), and how those of us who love Twitter are taking the small data points and creating a narrative, a story, from those tiny bits:

"Those frustrated with Twitter are frustrated because they have a belief that a story needs a beginning, middle, and end. And that it should have all of those parts before it’s presented to them. What the hell am I supposed to learn from a tweet? The point of Twitter isn’t knowledge or understanding, it’s merely connective information tissue. It’s small bits of information carefully selected by those you’ve chosen to follow and its value isn’t in what they send, it’s how it fits into the story in your head. There are great stories to be found on Twitter, but you have to do the work."

And then I saw Google's Super Bowl ad, and it demonstrated the point perfectly:

The small pieces of information we get from Google aren't the story; it's what we do with the information.

Brilliant.

New Orleans knows how to party

2010-02-09T07:30:00.000-08:00

I guess my favorite non-Portland-Oregon city had something to celebrate this past weekend.

Does this look insane, or what?

Saints Fans Celebrate Super Bowl Victory on Bourbon Street

And this is the edited-for-polite-company video.

Is it just me?

2010-02-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or does it give me a tiny sliver of hope that this Saturday Night Live skit is based in the idea that Americans who watch SNL will recognize who the current White House Chief of Staff is, and his reputation?

Or did the writers of the skit just figure that people would laugh because of all the cursing?

(I fall into the first category, myself.)

My chosen form of passive entertainment

2010-02-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while a significant number of people were watching the American football championship game lovingly called the Super Bowl, I spent the day listening, instead, to a different form of passive entertainment: I listened to a group of geeks play Dungeons & Dragons in a podcast from Wizards of the Coast, makers of Dungeons & Dragons.

The geeks are Jerry "Tycho" Holkins and Mike "Gabe" Krahulik of the webcomic Penny Arcade, Scott Kurtz of the webcomic PvP, and Wil "Just a geek" Wheaton.

Last year, they, along with Chris Perkins from Wizards of the Coast as Dungeon Master, played several sessions of 4th Edition D&D and recorded it for posterity.

This is only interesting to those who like D&D enough to be entertained by others playing, but for my own part, I was vastly entertained. Mr. Perkins is a lively and animated Dungeon Master, and the rest of the players are all creative, quick-witted and share an amazing camaraderie. Wil Wheaton, of course, has skills as both a D&D player and an actor and writer. I spent the afternoon with my iPhone playing the podcasts while I cleaned the house, and went shopping, and generally goofed off. And I spent much of the time smiling or even laughing aloud at their antics. It was vastly entertaining.

The one quibble I have, listening to the game mechanics for 4th Edition D&D, is that it doesn't really feel like D&D to me. All classes have a seemingly vast array of special powers and magical-seeming abilities, and everyone gets "healing surges" and ways to shake off damage and keep fighting. It feels more like a comic book; the characters feel more like superheroes or video game characters than the gritty ordinary folks I remember from old pulp fiction and my early days of D&D.

The other downside is that Wizards of the Coast has not made it easy to get all the episodes of Series 2 and 3, at least that I could find with my Google-fu. And they don't seem to be in iTunes anymore, either. For my friends' sake, I have compiled the various links below. I'm not trying to infringe anyones' copyright or intellectual property; these links go to the official versions of the files. If anyone from Wizards of the Coast asks, I will remove these links. Until that happens, feel free to click on these links and choose the option that saves the linked file, and then enjoy them.

When I get around to finding Series 4, I will update this page. Yes, I'm aware of what happens in Series 4 even though I haven't listened to it yet; don't post a comment here and spoil it for anyone else still unspoiled. As Mr. Wheaton says, "Don't be a dick."

Note: All episodes of Series 1 can be found on the page for Series 2, Episode 1.

Series 2

Series 3

The View From Maya's

2010-02-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places in Portland: the window seats at Maya's Taqueria at SW 10th and Morrison.

The Central Library is a block away, the MAX train stop across the street, Powell's City of Books just down the street. For years and years, I've sat in this window, enjoying a tasty Mexican meal (their verde chicken is tops) and watched people go by.

I remember the very first time I was here. I was an employee at Powell's, back in the early 90s, and Clyde and Peggy asked me if I wanted Mexican for lunch. We walked in, and I was a bit intimidated by the long counter, blocked off with plexiglass, and the giant menuboard of choices. Red sauces or green sauces? I couldn't decide. "I assume the red one is the spicy one?" I asked.

Clyde laughed, "That's not always the case. You gotta ask."

Turns out the green sauces is the spicy one at Maya's. That was also the first time I ever ate a burrito with a fork.

I love this spot. Day or night, dry or rain, workday or weekend, so many people.

Wes Anderson's Spider-Man

2010-02-05T13:36:00.001-08:00

I'm still trying to find my writing mojo.

But these guys have totally got Wes Anderson's number. Presenting Spider-Man, as directed by Wes Anderson.

Man, that's so Eighties

2010-02-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

While I try to think of something interesting to talk about, please enjoy this musical video of a song that's stuck in my head in much the same way the video's fashions are stuck in the 1980s.

You're welcome!

Pop culture intersection

2010-02-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

Imagine having to live this day, today, over and over again, Phil Connors-style, as a fan of LOST.¹

Getting to see the opening episode of the final season, but never getting any more answers to the questions of the show…

Yeah. That'd suck.

A quote from the last episode of the penultimate season, I think, sets up what we're going to see as the series concludes. When li'l Sawyer was shown, in flashback, first writing the letter to "Mr. Sawyer" that he would carry with him all his life, an older man (an uncle?) said to him:

"I know you're angry at the man that did this to your mommy and daddy, and, Hell, you got every right to be. But you've got to move on. Ain't nothin' you can do to change that.

"What's done, is done."

Is that true? Or does Sawyer (and the others that were touched by Jacob) get a do-over?

¹ Thanks to Ken for planting that idea in my head.

Sometimes I forget

2010-02-01T05:50:00.000-08:00

Me, yesterday, talking to a friend¹ about President Obama's debate with the Republican House Caucus at the Republican's retreat on Friday: "Here's how you can tell President Obama was doing well - Fox 'News' cut away from his debate, cut him off in mid-sentence, even, so they could then 'analyze' what was going on, live! MSNBC and CNN carried the whole thing, uninterrupted."

Terry gave me an odd look. I know my friend isn't into politics as I am, but my sense is that he's generally an Obama supporter, so I worried if I had offended him somehow. "So… wow… what you're saying, then, is that… Fox is a Republican network?"

My turn to be surprised. I thought this was common knowledge. Apparently not. "Yes. Oh, my, yes. I could give you lots and lots of evidence of that! Fox News is a partisan network and only gives the Republican side of things, consistently."

Terry said, "So that's why you watch MSNBC or CNN; they're not as conservative?"

"Well," I said, "all corporations are conservative and pro-business. You'll remember that I don't get broadcast or cable TV; that's not where I get my news. But I'm pretty informed." I smiled.

"Yes you are!" Terry agreed.

I do not judge Terry for not knowing this. He's got other things to thing about; his family, his job, his friends and entertainments.

But it's important for me to remember that not everyone knows the things I take for granted. Republicans can obstruct laws with a minority as small as 40 Senators, for example. The Supreme Court is narrowly conservative and has been issuing many 5-4 decisions that may be disastrous for our democracy. And, of course, Fox 'News' is anything but fair and balanced.

How much louder do the Democratic leadership need to shout the message until folks like Terry get the message: Fox 'News' is not a news outlet one can trust?

And if Terry is reading this, here's the video of President Obama at the Republican retreat:

¹ Hi, Terry!

Wireless camera

2010-01-30T16:42:00.000-08:00

Apple's iPad, announced last week, appears to be the perfect device for consuming different kinds of media: video, the internet, text, games.

Which is why I won't likely be getting one.¹

Mike Melanson, at Read Write Web, noted, for instance, the lack of a camera in iPad and suggested it was a huge problem. I, myself, in private conversation, have said that the lack of a camera is one of the reasons I'm not that interested.

But where would a camera go? Facing towards the user, it would make a great camera for video chat, but that's less than ideal if you're going to be taking picture (or video) of someone else.

That being said, as I laid down last night, I was startled by a random thought: what if one could use their iPhone, tethered to the iPad via WiFi or Bluetooth, as a wireless camera?

Wouldn't that be awesome? Stream the video to the iPad, which then saves the video or streams it off somewhere else? You can point it towards yourself, or the scene around you, where you like.

I thought that, since Apple is now allowing Bluetooth keyboards on iPad, that they would loosen up the restrictions on Bluetooth on the iPhone, too; for the moment, only Bluetooth headsets are allowed on non-jailbroken iPhones.

However, Mike Bissell looked into it and, apparently, all one can do is access files via Bluetooth, or so he said to me on Twitter.

That said, the tools to do almost this may already be available: right now, using the Ustream Broadcaster app, one can stream video from iPhone to a website, which one could watch on their iPad. Not quite the same thing, but close.

And I'm sure there will be more solutions available as the iPad starts to appear in the world.

¹ Note that I'm not saying iPad isn't going to be a hit, or that it's broken somehow or stupidly designed. It's simply not for me. I'm not that interested, as long as I have my iPhone for mobile consumption and my MacBook Pro for mobile creation.

Measure 66 and 67

2010-01-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

I am glad that Measure 66, the initiative to raise the top rate for individuals making over $125,000 and families making over $250,000, and Measure 67, the initiative to increase the minimum corporate tax from $10 to $150, appears to have passed. At least, when I went to bed last night, the local newspaper, The Oregonian, was predicting they would both pass.

Which has to gall the editors at the Oregonian, considering the apparent lies they were telling in regards to the ballot measures in the last few weeks.

Be that as it may, I am hopeful that the measures passed due to some good ol' fashioned populism. In my view, the rich have been getting theirs for quite some time, and meanwhile our basic, shared, infrastructure has been falling apart. Gee, cutting taxes doesn't create jobs and help everyone out; who knew? Our streets are broken, our schools aren't teaching, our sick aren't getting healthy.

Passing these two ballot measures will help fill the giant budget gap that has been the result of the conservative movements anti-tax experiment. Conservative darling Grover Norquist's desire to "drown government in the bathtub" is repudiated. Or so I hope.

Someone has to make the argument that government, as an institution, can make our lives better, not worse. Someone has to say, repeatedly and forcefully and sincerely, that government is the only institution we have that can face down amoral corporatism and redress the balance of power.

Of course, government that isn't made up of the efforts of citizens is nothing more than another wing of corporate power. Which is pretty much what we have right now on a Federal level.

But the progressive movement is growing and that includes more involvement in government by regular folks.

Score one for us progressives today with the passage of Measure 66 & 67.

Gaming in a new way

2010-01-26T07:33:00.000-08:00

I can't play D&D the way I used to.

I mean, I could. But I have so many more tools and options available to me now.

25 years ago, I didn't have a computer that can access vast stores of knowledge and stories, for example. Just being able to call up a Wikipedia article on the geography of North America has had a profound influence on my campaign, especially because I'm basing my map on real-world geography. In order to get this info back in the early days, I would have had to spend the afternoon at the library (not that that would have been a bad thing).

And that's just general knowledge; it doesn't even take into account the amount of game-specific sites out there! If I need random Elven names, or a list of possible encounters for a coastal wilderness, those are just a Google away.

Or take maps, for another example. In the old days, I would have had to draw the maps out by hand, on graph or hexagon paper. Making a larger campaign map, while fun and creative, meant a lot of effort and expense.

But I realized recently that I can use a good free image editor to do all the hard work, and only print it out once I have all the details filled in. And if I need a poster-sized print, FedEx-Kinkos is in my neighborhood. I can keep the version I see, with all the details not meant for players' eyes in a layer I can turn off before printing.

Back when I was a kid, I had to make or purchase a DM's screen with handy tables on it, to aid me in running the game and hide my notes from inquisitive eyes. These days, my laptop screen does both jobs much better. Every table I need to use is just a click away!

Need to generate player characters, and calculate the weight of all those weapons, armor, and gold they carry? There's an app for that.

Here's an idea I've had but haven't actually used yet: if I need to share a picture with the players during a game, instead of printing it out, I can email or text it to one of the players who has an iPhone, which they can pass around the table to share! Easy peasy!

Rain

2010-01-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

I ran in the rain yesterday.

It was pouring down, hard, for almost the entirety of my 5.22 miles and nearly an hour-long exercise. The "almost" is in there because I didn't leave the house until it had slacked off a bit, the rain becoming a drizzle, lulling me into thinking that hey, maybe it won't rain the entire time.

Of course, less than a minute or two from home, the rain picked up again, and pretty much did not stop for the rest of the day.

I had my iPhone with me, sealed up tight in not just one, but two ziploc bags, arranged so their openings were at different ends of the phone. Still, I worried that somehow, water would work its way in and render my expensive smartphone useless.

It didn't.

I've run in the rain before. I've even enjoyed it before. But late last year, I allowed any excuse to prevent me from running. It's too cold. It's raining. It's too warm. I'm too tired.

But in the last month or two, I've begun, again, to run. Even in the rain.

In fact, I ran stronger for the entire five-plus miles than I have in a while. Sure, I've had faster, shorter sessions, but that one on Sunday was steady nearly the entire way. The speed workouts I do once or twice a week really do help. So does losing weight. I'll be in great shape for the Shamrock Run in March.

Is the rain motivating, in the sense of "I can't wait to get out of this"? Maybe so. After I had finished my run, I still had to go do some shopping and maybe get a bite to eat, and I was less than motivated to go back out in it. I took a bus to one of my favorite restaurants, the Iron Horse, and ate, then took another bus trip, involving a transfer, to Fred Meyers in Oak Grove, then took another bus trip back to my neighborhood. I'd dressed for the weather, in camp pants, hat, and Columbia rain coat with hood, but even so, when I got back home, I was soaked through. Not a good feeling.

I still needed dinner, and did not have much food in the house, but I made do, because I was not going to go back out in the rain again that night.

And I didn't. I'd had my fill.

Stupid rain.

iPhone apps

2010-01-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and time for something a little less serious.

iPhone apps.

Friday I had a one-on-one with my boss, who is a gadget-hound and geek of the highest order. I mean that as a compliment; that's how it should be in IT. And things have been going very smoothly at work, so I didn't have much to talk about or requests to make, and when that wound down, my boss pulled out his iPhone 3GS and asked me if I had any cool new apps to recommend to him.

He knows I'm an Apple fan, and that I tend to keep up more on the Apple side of the tech divide than the Microsoft side. It's fun and awesome, because at work we are massively majority Microsoft on the desktop, but if any questions or issues come up with Mac OS or iPhone, my boss will steer those my way.

Then last night, over at a friend's house, his wife was asking me what cool iPhone apps I have, too. Apparently the hunger for "the next cool app" is high among iPhone users.

In any case, I looked over the apps I use the most, and realized that most of them are utilities, designed to do a specific task and do it well: I use Quicken to track my money, I use Livestrong to track my diet, Runkeeper to track my running.

The few "cool" apps I have, I actually rarely use. Shazam feels like magic: listen to this song and tell me the title, artist, and lyrics. It's fun, but I don't use it all that often.

Dragon Dictation feels like magic, too: transcribe what I'm saying. And it doesn't fail very often, but when it fails, it's very humorous. You may think I don't use it often, and you'd be mostly right. I did, however, use it more in the winter when I was outside, wearing gloves, and needed to send an email or text, which is surprisingly often considering I'm a high text-sender.

(There are gloves out there that let one use a touch screen while wearing them, though, and I'd love to get a pair. Hint, hint.)

My "marquee" cool apps, though, I can really only show off at home: I have a handful of apps that let me control my entertainment system: play music, play a video, let guests pick a song from their iPhone. My major wish is that I could afford a way to let me power on the whole thing with my iPhone, and get rid of the remaining remote control, too. I'm sure there's an app for that, too - I just can't afford an upgrade right now.

Personal touch

2010-01-22T06:43:00.001-08:00

A downside to cooking for myself more is that I don't have as many conversations with waitstaff anymore.

That statement makes me seem a bit starved for human interaction, doesn't it?

And I guess I am, a bit. Just a bit, though. I'm pretty happy right now with my social life. I spend a day or two a week with one or several of my friends. Tomorrow night I'll be meeting a friends' wife for the first time, having dinner at their house. Of course, earlier this week I hosted my monthly D&D game; prior to the game I spent the afternoon and had lunch with Terry. I'm in constant contact with Tracy via text, and regularly trade emails with Kevin.

Yeah, I'm happy with my social life right now. I have good friends around me.

The small part I miss, though, is the small random interactions, the chance encounters. If I'm honest, though, those were always few and far between in my life. Maybe they stand out in my memory only because I didn't have regular contact with close friends? And because of the rarity of the chance encounter, I have to admit I wasn't very good at them: I often ran out of things to say, or didn't know how to continue the conversation, or failed to express an interest in talking to them again. Or, worse, did those things in an awkward way.

If I think about it now, though, I spend a bit more time at the grocery store these days. There's a chance for interaction. I still visit my local coffee shop regularly and talk to my coffee guy and the girl who works there, and could possibly get to know some of the other regulars there. I see pretty much the same faces every day on my bus ride to and from work. The people who run the Thai restaurant near my house still recognize me, even though I don't go in as often.

I still have opportunities for random conversations. Maybe the lack was just a mental blind spot for me? I've been feeling the winter doldrums quite a bit for the last month or two; hopefully with the return of sunnier weather and longer days, my mood will pick up.

Thoughts on a current lack of a health care reform bill for the President to sign

2010-01-20T08:20:00.000-08:00

If I can get political for a brief moment¹, I look around on the morning after the Massachusetts special election and see a lot of blaming going on. This is to be expected: elections produce winners and losers, and it's human to try to figure out why.

I've got some opinions, too, but for the moment I only want to make one small point. John Scalzi suggest that some of the blame for the endangered state of health insurance reform lies at the feet of progressives, because progressives criticized the President and somehow weakened him, is just the same old "it's always OK to punch a hippie" conventional wisdom.

When I look at progressives, what I see is that they have been trying whatever they can to enact real health care reform, not just pass any fucking thing, shovel money at the insurance industry middlemen, and call it good. I do not get how that translates into "weakening President Obama", I just don't.

Jane Hamsher has been trying to push through better legislation. Markos Moulitsas Zuniga pushed for better legislation. Many many more, that I'm too lazy to google and link, did the same.

Of course, Mr. Scalzi doesn't actually specify who he means by "progressives", which may be chalked up to his writing that post late in a sleepy frame of mind. Or it may just be a strawman argument and a reflexive "punch a hippie" attitude. I don't know which. Mr. Scalzi strikes me politically as a "moderate"; he often tries to distance himself from what he sees as both right and left extremes. I'm definitely a progressive, way over here in Little Beirut.

But from the way I see it, criticizing a president only seems to "weaken" him if he's a Democratic one. It's always OK to do... whatever... when one is a Republican.

Still.

¹ And I can. It's my blog. Not being mean, just being real.

Yessir, the check is in the mail

2010-01-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

Until I can get some time to write something down with a bit more creativity, I present to you a puzzle: Can you read this quote and not want to re-watch¹ the movie from which it comes?

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, 'Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.'"

Well... can you?

¹ Surely everyone who reads my blog has already seen this movie previously? More than once?

Refreshing fantasy

2010-01-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm involved in two different Dungeons & Dragons games, which will mark me as a geek among the highest order. Which I'm quite proud of, so save your taunts and your barbs 'cause I will ignore them.

In one game, I am the Dungeon Master; I've written previously about that game and it has continued. In fact, we're meeting again next Monday.

Tonight, though, I played in the other group. In this one, I'm a player, rather than running the game. Right now we have a group of five players, though we may be adding another player in the future.

I'll spare you most of the details of the game and world, because I'm sure that listening to other folks describe their adventures is only interesting to a small handful of people. But the DM, Lynn,¹ has made some interesting choices. He's using an alternate historical setting, putting us in Europe around 950 C.E., with the additions of standard D&D tropes: magic-users, clerics with spells, elves and dwarves and orcs and goblins. Magic, though, is rare, and controlled by a group that owes ties to the Catholic church; and priests who cast spells and heal by touch are rarer still.

I got involved in the game on the idea that it would be a temporary gig; Lynn was writing a module for sale, and wanted a group to playtest it. So I was handed a character, one I did not create from scratch myself. That being the case, my character began a bit "vanilla" and outside my comfort range, but in playing him I've grown to like him and enjoy trying to put myself into his shoes. He's a straight fighter, a swordsman of vaguely Germanic background, one who values the law and hierarchy and structure, and who gives at least lip service to the demands of the church.

He's also a bit abrasive and tonight I discovered through play that he's a bit of a misogynist, which I thought was a logical attitude for the times and considering his background, but led to a funny/awkward moment tonight when it bumped up against the rather modern ideas of our mixed-gender group.

We were investigating the disappearance of a local old maid who had disappeared, a cook who was renowned for her special herbed butter. When we searched her shack, she was gone, but Aoric, my swordsman, realized that the exotic and foreign herbs and spices were probably worth considerable gold coin, and began stuffing them into a bag. The priest, Father Caelin, and the elven nature-worshipper, Galithean, both admonished me for stealing. To which I replied, honestly if defensively, "It's not stealing. She's a woman."

A shocked silence fell over the group. Including the DM.

I looked to the priest, sure he would agree with me (the player for the priest is well-versed in the historical context, much more than I am, surely he'd get it) but he just stared at me, eyes slitted.

"Oh," I said, "even the priest is giving me the eye. Um, I'm just saving them for the old woman, so we can give them back to her if — I mean when — we find her again." And if we don't, I reasoned, I'll just keep them and sell them.

The priest informed me that even though women couldn't own land, they could still have posessions. In that moment, I had channeled my inner Jayne, and had found the nugget for my character.

Aoric's moment of glory came later, when he dealt the death-blow to the Italian mercenary who had been hired to ambush and kidnap the Margrave's son. It's the first and so far most satisfying critical hit I've rolled since I took up playing again.

But I'd promised not to regale you with tales of the game. The major point I wanted to make, before wandering off into storytelling, was that after each game, whether I'm running the game or playing in it, I am refreshed. I'm laughing, I forget my troubles, I feel as though I'm connecting to the other players, and my mind is always filled with plans and memories. It's amazing to me how energized I always feel for at least the next day or two.

I like playing, but it's more than that. I like telling stories, but it's more than that, too. The accomplishments are minor compared to the rest of my life, but I think being in a small party of like-minded folk, as opposed to being in a social gathering of strangers with nothing in common, is the circumstance under which I flourish. This is my favorite kind of interaction, and it makes me very happy.

¹ In the game I DM, we have a player whose name is Lynn and she's female. In the game I'm a player, the DM's name is Lynn, and he's male. I've messed up emails by sending them to the wrong Lynn before. It's mildly embarrassing.

More self-improvement by running

2010-01-14T07:42:00.000-08:00

I pushed myself a little bit last night during my run. I've been running on the treadmill at work for, oh, about the last four weeks or so, three times a week, like clockwork. And because running on the treadmill is so boring, about all I can stand is 30-40 minutes at a moderate pace (meaning 5.2 - 5.5 mph or so), which definitely taxes my cardio-vascular system but doesn't seem to lead to improvement, as far as I can tell.

So starting last week, and continuing this week, I added a speed workout that I call the "ladder".

Here's how I worked it: five minutes at the normal pace to warm up, then 5 minutes at a "fast" pace, which meant 6 mph or a 10:00/mile pace. Then four minutes at the slower pace to rest, then four minutes at the faster pace, then three minutes rest and three minutes fast, and so on.

Last night, I actually slowed to a fast walk for most of the rest segments, which felt like cheating, but to make up for it, I increased the fast segments by 0.1-0.2 mph each fast segment, until the last one minute fast segment was at 6.6 mph (or about a 9:06/mile pace).

This morning, my legs feel a bit sore, which hasn't happened in a while. I'm hopeful that means I will benefit from the speed workout in both stronger legs, and stronger cardio-vascular heart-beatin' oxygen-breathin' power.

Time will tell.

In related news, I'm still following the 100 pushups program, and this morning managed a set of 5/6/4/4/9, which is an incremental improvement over Monday's set. Once this week's exercises are done, I'm supposed to do another exhaustion test and then use that to re-calibrate. Not sure I'll be able to do 20 in a row, still, like @mizd did, but I'll manage more than 4, I'm sure.

Black beans

2010-01-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

Sunday night, I bought a pound of dry black beans, and put them in a bowl, covered them with water and plenty of it, and let them sit overnight.

Monday morning, I chopped up some jalepenos, dumped the soaked beans and peppers and chicken broth, along with some spices, into the crockpot, and then turned it on.

Wait.

The recipe I had called for four hours of cooking on High, and then two (or more) hours on Low. My crockpot, a hand-me-down from my mom, only had a manual switch for Off/Low/High. I was going to be at work and, because I was going to hit the treadmill after work, I wouldn't be home for 11 or 12 hours. Did I want to leave the beans cooking all day on High? Would that overcook them? Is there such a thing as overcooking in a slow-cooker? Would it overheat, catch fire and burn down my apartment and the building it's in?

I'm a worrier.

So I put the crockpot on Low, figuring 12 hours of that would be enough cooking. Then I left for work.

On my way home from work, starving and needing food because of my workout, I thought about ladling out some spicy black beans over some Spanish rice I'd made this weekend, and chowing down. So good. I got off the bus, trusty #70 12th Ave, at New Seasons Sellwood, for a brief pit stop to see if they had a cheap ladle, since all I had were spoons; but I'm not going to pay $9.99 for a freaking ladle, no matter how fancy and pretty it was.

Walked home from there, still hungry. Walked in the front door; the whole house smelled like spicy beans. Went in the kitchen, saw that the crockpot was bubbling, slowly. Spooned out some to taste.

Damn. The beans weren't done. Still chalky and hard. Damn.

I guess 12 hours on Low is not the same as 4 hours on High, after all.

I settled for the Spanish rice, and put the crockpot on High again. Watched some TV, chilled, went to bed.

Woke up around 1 AM, suddenly worried about the crockpot. But when I checked on it, it was bubbling nicely, though the liquid was down a bit. Added a little bit more broth, then turned it to Low. Then thought better of it sitting like that all night, and unplugged it.

This morning, after making breakfast, I portioned out the beans and brought some, with more leftover rice, to work for lunch.

I still haven't had more than a small taste. But it's fun learning about cooking.

Interaction

2010-01-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

Social media like Twitter and Facebook is great and all, right up until you're following someone who disagrees with you. What do you do at that point?

Do you ask them questions to try to find out what the root of the disagreement is? What if they can't, or don't want to explain? What if they think your questions are intrusive and attacking, when you're only trying to understand? Do you draw conclusions based on their responses?

Do you try to explain your own point of view, because, surely, the basis of your opinions is rational, and if you can just explain clearly why you believe what you believe, the other person will have to abandon their inferior opinion. Right?

Or do you talk about them to other people who agree with you and not them? That other opinion is wrong, am I right? Why would they think that, I wonder, out loud and at no one in particular (hoping someone will agree with me)?

Or do you send them a note telling them you won't be following them from now on, and this is why, and goodbye? I mean, they would want to know why you're not paying attention to them anymore. That's what you would want, anyway, as long as you're being reasonable and rational and not at all emotional about this issue on which you and another person in your social circle disagree for reasons that may or may not be important. Right?

Or do you simply ignore them. How… how… boring.

I'm being snarky but I'm pretty sure I have done and thought all of those things before. Sometimes I'll pretend to take the high road and cloak my questions in the cloak of "honest inquiry", and sometimes I'll try to explain my own position and hope out loud that they'll change their mind while inwardly knowing they probably won't. And sometimes I'll just ask other friends about it.

Looking at that behavior right now, I don't really think I've been very mature. About any of it. I gotta be honest with myself and admit that there's a little bit of troll in me. And maybe you, too, yeah?

There is entertainment value in it, though, which is why I'm always tempted. And there can be honest engagement where I'm legitimately trying to understand a different viewpoint. Sadly, though, I often press on past the point of honest engagement. Knowing when to quit, ah, that's the real trick.

I find value, though, in keeping open lines of communication to people who don't see the world the way I do. I'm not inclined to unfollow someone on Twitter just because I don't like their opinions. I'd like to believe that I can listen, ask a question or two, and then just process the information without belittling the other person.

And my close friends, the ones whom I trust, always have an open invitation to call me on my bullshit. Lucky for me, they take advantage of that, as I return the favor to them. That's what makes them my friends.

Sunday

2010-01-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

Not much to say this morning. I wrung myself out with yesterday's post I think.

Spent last night with two fabulous dames, Tracy and Gina. Dinner at The Delta, which was terribly crowded and we had to wait an hour to be seated, in spite of our trying to sneak in the back and steal a table (what? We didn't know!). We gorged on flank steak and corn bread and red beans and rice and hush puppies.

Oh, and booze. Did I forget the booze? Had my first vodka mojito of the year, and, well, really, ever, and it was good enough to prompt me to buy the second vodka mojito of the year, and, well, really, ever. I'll probably stop counting them after this.

Then a quiet cup of coffee at my favorite local coffee shop, and then home.

Lots of conversation in-between, though. Private conversation.

Today looks to be a shopping and cooking day. I may have to find a reason to ride MAX this afternoon, though, since it's Global No Pants Subway Ride Day.

I may or may not post something else later.

Hugs

2010-01-09T08:34:00.000-08:00

Seven or eight years ago I was dating a woman, named Terri Ann, who, among other things, introduced me to the idea of the five "languages" of love.

These are the five primary ways we express romantic love (and other kinds, as well), and they are: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Terri Ann explained to me that everybody generally uses all five in a relationship, but that we tend to use one or two more often than the others.

Things did not work out with me and Terri Ann, but we remained friends for a long time afterward, and I was there at her wedding to meet the man lucky enough to marry her. I still think fondly of her, but what I think about since then, and lately, is those five expressions of love.

I think that she and I were able to remain friends, where I've failed to do that with other girlfriends, because of the way we expressed ourselves around each other. Our languages of love were complementary. We both liked and appreciated physical touch and quality time. It may have been a contributing factor that she lived an hours' drive north from Portland, and we had to make a special effort to spend time together, so any time we were in each others' presence was quality time and a gift of sorts. Especially since I did not own a car and had to make explicit arrangements to go see her¹.

I've never read the book that she got the idea from, but I've developed my own ideas about these five languages. I've decided that the "primary" one is learned from family, and that we tend to both take it for granted and de-emphasize it, while seeking out the ones that we did not get as children. That makes sense, right?

I don't remember a lot of physical affection from my parents when I was growing up. I'm not saying they didn't love me; I'm just saying they didn't express themselves with hugs. My father tended to express love as acts of service; he worked hard to make sure we had a roof over our head and food on the table. He liked fixing and making things. I remember being in middle school when I was taking a class on the two World Wars; I needed a project for the class because the teacher assured us an A if we did some kind of special project. My dad suggested building a balsa-frame model of a WWI fighter plane, something I had never done before. My dad built the Red Baron's plane; I built a replica of the Sopwith Camel, the plane flown by the man who shot the Red Baron down. Dad and I spent a lot of time on either side of the dining room table putting those models together, covering the frame in tissue paper, and painting it.

I was a kid. I didn't value the model in and of itself. I valued the time I spent with dad working on it together. Later, when I was in high school, my friend and I blew that model up with fireworks, which was spectacular (for a teenager). I'm sure my dad would be dismayed to hear about that, if he doesn't already know. But that's the thing: I valued the quality time, not what was derived from it. And in another way, I devalued the time we spent together because I assumed it would always be like that.

So as an adult, when dating and trying to form close relationships, I model my parents' behavior. I spend time, lots of time, with the woman I'm courting. I work on their computer, or help them get their car tuned up.

But I also crave physical touch. I like holding hands as soon as I think I won't be rejected for doing so. I hug. And I think I crave all that because I did not get a lot of that when I was younger.

I was in high school before I remember hugging someone who was not a member of my family. I can clearly remember the circumstances. I was in the theater, on stage, after drama class, with some of my fellow students. I was an awkward and shy kid (who doesn't think of themselves that way?) and me and another male friend (the same one I blew up the plane with²) were leaving. The details of it all are gone, but I remember Tina deWitt, class president, turning to me and offering a hug. She was bright, and cheerful, and very cute, all dark curly hair, just a bit shorter than me, but I didn't really think of her in terms of romance.

Until she hugged me.

I'm pretty sure my body responded to her touch in a way I'll leave undescribed, but luckily she didn't notice because it was a lean-in hug. That was all it took. I can still smell the perfume in her shampoo; to this day I can feel her arms around my shoulders and hear the sparkle in her voice. And the reason I can remember all this is because it was so freakin' rare for me.

When I remember past girlfriends, even now, I am hugging them in my memory. And often, my present mind is analyzing the hug to demonstrate how uncomfortable they were with it.

I can remember Terri Ann standing in my apartment, dressed up for dinner out, and I go to hug her. Her head is above mine; I have to turn my head up to look at her and kiss her. In her heels she's three or four inches taller than me. She laughs, looking away, and I ask her why. She remarks on the height difference, and I laugh and tell her "I'm OK with it." Was she?

I can remember being downtown with Deb, and she was getting on MAX to go home, and while we waited for the train to show up, I hugged her. And I felt her pull away a little, and she didn't look me in the eye, so I asked her about it. "Do my hugs make you uncomfortable?"

"A little" she admitted. "Sometimes it's just… too much."

I'm no longer with Deb, clearly. That was six years ago now. But the memory, of me wanting touch, and being rebuffed, in words and small nearly unnoticeable movements, is still fresh.

Thinking of that, now, I connect it with a memory of my mom standing at the sink putting dishes in the dishwasher, and my dad coming up behind her to hug her from behind. And mom tenses up, stops what she's doing, and waits it out. "Bob," she says, simply, scolding. And dad laughs, but I can tell he's hurt, and he holds her a second longer, and then lets go, walks to the fridge, and gets something out of it, while mom goes back to washing dishes.

I know how he feels now. Over and over again.

Am I attracted to women who don't want what I want? Am I over-doing it? Or is it just a mis-match in communication?

So many questions… and it feels so much like there's less and less time for answers.

¹ Thank you, Zipcar! Although back then it was FlexCar, or possibly Portland Carshare; the company has changed over the years).

² Hi, Terry! (I'm pretty sure he reads my blog)

Chin-ups are hard

2010-01-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

Turns out chin-ups are hard. I can't even do a single one unassisted, which makes it very hard to even start a program to train myself to do 25 of them in a row.

But I still want to do this. I want to improve my upper body strength to match the strength I've built up in my legs from running.

Where to begin if I can't even get to the starting point?

Here's where I start:

I began tonight. I'm going to do the simple, use-your-legs and hang-there-as-long-as-you-can exercises every Tuesday and Thursday until I can do at least one unassisted chin-up. I have no idea how long it will take me but I'll re-evaluate in three weeks.

Three weeks puts me in the middle of my Hundred Pushups plan. I know pushups work a different set of muscles but it's all upper body to me. And hopefully that will help me a bit with running.

Or at least help me look good in a shirt. Broad shoulders are always a good thing, right?

What will, and won't, get you kicked off CNN

2010-01-06T06:38:00.000-08:00

Things that will get you kicked off CNN: using a common expletive every adult has heard or said.

A quickly-compiled and necessarily-incomplete list of things that won't get you kicked off CNN:

To their credit, CNN did find a method for parting ways with a xenophobic, hate-filled pundit after controversy upon controversy. So perhaps this post should be comparing Kathy Griffin and Lou Dobbs....naaaaah.