Thursday, June 18, 2009
Holding hands
I stepped in to the hospital room to visit my friend Kevin, who had had some major surgery earlier in the week. When I walked in, Kevin's wife was there, along with two other men, a woman and a small child, standing around the bed and talking. I didn't recognize any of the strangers, but from the conversation, Kevin knew them well enough. Neighbors? I stood back, waved at Kevin, and listened in.Kevin laid in bed in his pajamas and hospital gown. He was energetic and interested, in a much better mood than the last time I had seen him two days before, drugged to reduce the pain and silent.
M., Kevin's wife, introduced me to the group. Soon enough the conversation wound down to a close and the group made ready to leave. Then one of the men looked at M., expectantly, and M. said, "They wanted to pray for you before they leave."
Kevin nodded and held out his hands on either side of the bed, and M. and the other adults joined, by their hands, into a circle.
I stayed back from the rest of the group, suddenly amused. One of the men looked at me, encouragingly, his hand open for me to join in. I kept my hands at my side.
It was an awkward moment.
Until Kevin said, "Brian doesn't pray," in a friendly, not challenging, voice.
The rest of them nodded and then proceeded to ignore me and one of the men then spoke to his God, asking for His help in healing Kevin from the disease and injury that Kevin had... somehow... contracted and which required surgical intervention.
They were oblivious to the irony.
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Prayer is comforting to Christians. Our friends prayed for us as a source of comfort at that fragile moment. I appreciate your respect of our choice, ironic or otherwise. Prayer has sustained me these past few weeks.
Sincerely,
"M"
Sincerely,
"M"
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posted by 
:: 6/18/2009 9:07 PM
:: 6/18/2009 9:07 PM
M! Welcome to Lunar Obverse. I'm not sure you've ever commented here before. Thank you for reading and replying.
Many, many people find comfort in praying to God - or gods - not only Christians, but other faiths as well. I have to admit I find the act and the words and the rituals around prayer to be an endless source of fascination... but the idea behind it all provides me, personally, with no comfort at all.
Many, many people find comfort in praying to God - or gods - not only Christians, but other faiths as well. I have to admit I find the act and the words and the rituals around prayer to be an endless source of fascination... but the idea behind it all provides me, personally, with no comfort at all.
I think this is a fascinating topic, mostly because I find prayer to be both immensely comforting and rather mysterious.
For context: I'm still working to define my concept of a "higher power," but in general I don't believe that a higher power is going to intervene directly in my life and fix whatever problems I have. I do believe, however, that there is a higher power in the universe, mostly because I can't conceive of the world and cosmos and everything in it happening by chance.
In my experience, prayer helps focus my thoughts around a situation and clarify exactly what my feelings are and why I'm having those feelings. In other words, it helps me get perspective, in much the same way that writing in a journal might, but the act of getting quiet, opening up, waiting for answers to come as they will, really focusing on something outside myself, provides a different venue - so to speak - for understanding myself and the universe.
For me this process is intensely personal and to really get quiet I need to be alone - so I don't understand the need some people have to pray with each other - but to each his/her own.
From a purely logical perspective, of course it doesn't make sense that something as intangible as prayer would really make a difference or provide comfort. I was skeptical too until I started trying it, but I think I had a rigid idea of what prayer "had to be" - based on years of churchgoing that provided little comfort - and in reality, prayer can be anything you want it to be.
For context: I'm still working to define my concept of a "higher power," but in general I don't believe that a higher power is going to intervene directly in my life and fix whatever problems I have. I do believe, however, that there is a higher power in the universe, mostly because I can't conceive of the world and cosmos and everything in it happening by chance.
In my experience, prayer helps focus my thoughts around a situation and clarify exactly what my feelings are and why I'm having those feelings. In other words, it helps me get perspective, in much the same way that writing in a journal might, but the act of getting quiet, opening up, waiting for answers to come as they will, really focusing on something outside myself, provides a different venue - so to speak - for understanding myself and the universe.
For me this process is intensely personal and to really get quiet I need to be alone - so I don't understand the need some people have to pray with each other - but to each his/her own.
From a purely logical perspective, of course it doesn't make sense that something as intangible as prayer would really make a difference or provide comfort. I was skeptical too until I started trying it, but I think I had a rigid idea of what prayer "had to be" - based on years of churchgoing that provided little comfort - and in reality, prayer can be anything you want it to be.
I'm not sure I see the irony. You assume they were praying for his physical well-being? Perhaps they were praying for his spiritual well-being. There is more to health than lack of disease.
I'm not sure I believe in God and if I did, it wouldn't be a God that directly intervenes in human affairs to heal people or otherwise. But I do believe in the healing power of prayer through the comfort, peace, inspiration, and sense of connectedness that it brings to those who practice it.
I'm not sure I believe in God and if I did, it wouldn't be a God that directly intervenes in human affairs to heal people or otherwise. But I do believe in the healing power of prayer through the comfort, peace, inspiration, and sense of connectedness that it brings to those who practice it.
Hi, Jen! Welcome back!
No assumptions necessary about what they were praying for; they were specifically asking God for very specific things in regards to Kevin's health and recovery and thanking and praising God for His power in helping Kevin through the healing he needed - healing which was only required because of a disease that, presumably, an intercessory and all-powerful God could have simply prevented in the first place.
That's the irony to which I refer - though some may prefer the formal title of theodicy, or the Problem of Evil. That problem is one that is a large piece of positive evidence arguing against the idea of an all-powerful intercessory God and leads many people, perhaps like yourself and Zee and others, to reject a God that answers direct prayers.
Of course to each their own.
No assumptions necessary about what they were praying for; they were specifically asking God for very specific things in regards to Kevin's health and recovery and thanking and praising God for His power in helping Kevin through the healing he needed - healing which was only required because of a disease that, presumably, an intercessory and all-powerful God could have simply prevented in the first place.
That's the irony to which I refer - though some may prefer the formal title of theodicy, or the Problem of Evil. That problem is one that is a large piece of positive evidence arguing against the idea of an all-powerful intercessory God and leads many people, perhaps like yourself and Zee and others, to reject a God that answers direct prayers.
Of course to each their own.
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