Birthday Dinner

Dear everyone,

I had the best dinner last night! Lisa and Bill came over and we had dinner at the Italian restaurant at my resort. Everything was perfect; the service was friendly without being overbearing, and the FOOD! Bill had veal, Lisa had lamb, and I had bacon wrapped steak and cheese manicotti (with pine nuts! YUM).

They picked up that it was my birthday from one mention, and for dessert they brought out a tiramisu – with two ladies’ legs, carved from cookies, sticking up from the top! Happy Birthday was written on the plate with chocolate sauce.

Daniel, our waiter, delicately pried the legs apart so he could place the single candle between them.

After, we sat around the pool and talked until late. Oh, and drank. And people-watched. Bill was impressed by the topless ladies. Lisa could not stop talking about the food. She joked that she felt like she’d had a reward meal on some reality show, and now had to go back to eating grub worms at the other resort.

I ate so much food!

How can I possibly be hungry this morning? And yet, I am.

signed, Brian.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Brian,
YAY! Happy Birthday!!
I sincerely hope you are out partying and enjoying your vacation in Cancun!
Many happy returns!

-Athena

Everybody’s pimpin’ somethin’

Dear everybody,

Last night, after a run and dinner, I went for a walk along the boulevard. I saw many hotels, and just as many dark boarded-up buildings. About every 10 minutes I was approached by taxi drivers. “Taxi, señor?”

I wandered into a flea market. A shopkeeper kept asking me questions I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand. I pretended I didn’t hear him.

Eventually I reached a mall near a bunch of nightclubs, like Planet Hollywood & Carlos ‘n’ Charlie’s & The City. And Coco Bongo, which I’ve heard is the best in Cancún. It is an all-inclusive club; US$40 gets you in and all the drinks you want. I found that out by asking a pretty Latina wearing a logo’ed t-shirt while waiting in the huge line out front.

“And I still have to wait in line?” I asked.

“Oh, you don’t want to wait here? Follow me, señor,” and she ran around to a hidden side door. “Fifty dollars, US.”

After I determined it wasn’t fifty MORE, I accepted and went inside.

Imagine a combination dance club and Vegas show, with tequila girls. That’s Coco Bongo. I saw acrobatics, chorus lines, and impersonators (KISS, Beetlejuice, Spider-Man, Usher, Beyoncè, Madonna, and more). So much fun. But after several hours, my introverted self was a bit over- stimulated. Finding the exit was difficult, and not just because of the drinks I had had and the packed crowd. I think they deliberately made the exit hard to find.

I grabbed a taxi outside and rode back to the hotel, presented with a sign on the seat in front of me advertising a 24-hour “adult spa”.

signed, Brian

Random Story

Dear everybody,

Last night coming back from the other resort I ended up playing psychiatrist to a lonely cab driver, francisco. His girlfriend had kicked him out for vague reasons and had forbidden him from contact with their 11 year old daughter. But even so, he had met a beautiful 19 year old (Francisco told me he was 34) who said she loved him… Sometimes. I suspected this girl was a professional, if you know what I mean.

So many stories in my head! CANT GET THEM ALL DOWN!

signed, Brian

Scariest Christmas Ever!

Dear everybody,

On my taxi ride to my sister’s hotel this morning, I left my iPhone in the cab. Didn’t notice ’til I tried to call my sister in the lobby.

Panic nearly ensued.

I immediately asked the bell staff to help me track down the driver. He had already left. They asked the concierge, Gabriella, to help. She was able to get the taxi number and the driver’s cell and started calling.

Meanwhile, I found my family and used their phone to call mine. Voicemail. Max was the only one who spoke Spanish so he left a message telling whoever answered to bring the phone to the Blue Bay Club for a reward. I started counting my cash…

Back at the front desk, Gabriella said she had called my phone and had a woman say, “I think you are calling the wrong number” and hung up.

I asked her to try again.

This time, the driver picked up. Gabriella explained about the reward and he agreed to return it.

I gave the driver US$60. I think that’s worth it.

Merry Christmas! signed, Brian

Made It!


Dear everybody,

It was a long trip, made longer by my staying out all night Friday. The fight was delayed leaving Houston. There was some trouble because I hadn’t pre-paid for transportation to the hotel.

But the weather is gorgeous, 80 and a light breeze. There’s more food and booze than I need. People from all over the world to talk to. And this morning I ate breakfast with a beautiful French Canadian woman.

Did I mention she was trying to sell me a timeshare?

Still, she seemed genuinely sad when I said my final no. Head down, voice low, she mumbled, “but I really liked you,” before picking up all her charts and notes and walking me back to the lobby. And we did talk of other things. I learned she is frightened and disgusted by the sea. “Lovely to look at, but when it is time to swim, I always have other things to do.”

Later I’m going for a run on the beach, and I have to schedule the relaxing massage that was my other reward for listening to the sales spiel. A few more days of this and I’ll forget what Portland is like.

I wish you all were here. No, really. When can you get here? The bus to the nightclubs leaves at 10:30! Merry Christmas!

signed, Brian

Blog still here?

Just checking in. Thanks to Kevin, Tracy, and Athena for helping out. (I’d link them but it’s a pain in the carpal tunnel typing HTML on my iPhone) Still need to hear from Ken… Maybe next week.

Right now I’m sitting outside a shopping mall in Punta Cancún stealing some wifi bandwidth. Gonna wander around and maybe shop a bit before meeting my sister and brother-in-law for dinner and drinking. Mucho drinking.

It’s 82° F and a bit humid. Looks like it’s exactly half that in Portland.

Not a bad way to spend my 43rd birthday.

Hasta la vista, amigos y amigas!

Pre-Thirty Crisis

A guest post by Athena from The BlissQuest

I’m settling down with a glass of wine, St. Chapelle a Riesling and crawling in to bed to watch Big Trouble in Little China. Quite possibly one of my favorite Kurt Russell movies – ever. Well, that and Overboard.

When I saw the first time I was like 8 or 9 and I was sure when I got old enough – like 12ish Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) would come rescue me from Lo Pan because I had green eyes and obviously that meant I was doomed to be a victim of Lo Pan’s evil marriage plans. Until then I imagined I would hang around with Kim Cattrall and we’d talk about things like puppies and how much school sucked.

I was a child of the 80’s. I watched smurfs and wore jellies, I had sisters with bangs that scraped the ceiling and a brother who turned up the collar of his polo. I played dress up with blue eye shadow and danced around the house to Janet Jackson and what’s-her-name from American Idol. My siblings all wore parachute pants and knew the steps to Thriller while I mostly played sports and made up fantasy worlds.

I survived the eighties and Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Brite and swore I would never look back.

But over the last couple years the re-constitution of the 80’s hit – the looming 30’s of the 80’s children has brought to life a fond reminiscence of the most schizophrenic decade of the previous century- and all that was ungodly horrid in the fashion came back with burning pride.
I find myself missing Pappa Smurf, the Battle Cats and all the other movies and entertainment that was my nanny through the years.
I don’t know if it’s like a new phase of aging but I miss movies like Big Trouble in Little China like I miss being able to build blanket forts in the living room. I miss walking through mud puddles in my blue jellies as much as I miss Saturday morning cartoons and pouring too much cinnamon and sugar on my toast.

So, I’m coming to terms with the fact that I may be missing my childhood. I might actually be subconsciously longing for the “days of innocence” as I surf youtube for cartoon clips of Rainbow Brite and My Little Pony. I’ve been really excited about turning 30 next year, but maybe I’m also starting to worry. Maybe I’m just slow to realize how awesome the 80’s really were. Maybe I didn’t think they rocked at the time, and maybe I still wouldn’t be caught dead with mushroom bangs – but the longing is there and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Therefore I will indulge it. I may just go build a blanket fort in the living room, have some cinnamon sugar toast and watch some cartoons.

But for now, I think a glass of wine and some Jack Burton fantasies will hold me over for awhile.

Is this what a pre-thirty crisis looks like?

A Time for Friends


It’s my turn for a guest post. Even though I wasn’t assigned a day, or even a specific subject (although, you can bet your sweet ass that I asked for one), I thought I’d post on Christmas Day. Although, Christmas is almost technically over…I’m hoping to get it done before the strike of midnight.

I’m not drunk, in fact, I haven’t had a drop of alcohol today. I haven’t seen live strippers in weeks, although I have thought about it several times. And, I make sure to not talk politics unless I’m forced into it by my friends. So, what’s left to talk about as a guest writer? The only thing that I can think of that Brian is passionate about besides the three previously mentioned topics, is his passion for relationships, and especially friendships.

What exactly is it about friendships that are so important? Is it honor? Is it respect? Is it knowing that the other person will be there for you if you ever really need them? How about a touch of tenderness and compassion…or maybe more than a touch? Yes, it’s all those things. As well as integrity….that’s a biggie. How do I know this? Because these things are important to me, as well.

Brian and I have become quite close over the past several years, and we have learned to trust one another…even through the tough times. A true friendship that I hope will last forever. It is a relationship of honor, of respect, of integrity, of dependency (mostly healthy, although sometimes we both wonder, I’m sure), of tenderness, and of compassion.

Merry Christmas to all, but especially to those that we call friends.