Month: July 2006

When I heard that Kari Byron from MythBusters had done a 4-page pictorial for FHM magazine (in the July ’06 issue) I knew I had to find those pictures.

However, when I found them (at least the ones online), I was a bit disappointed.

So, in the interest of science, try the following yourself:

1. Take a moment to imagine what such a pictorial could look like.
2. Then check out the pics.

(Note: this is not a trick to get you to click on something horrible. I promise.)

My thoughts: this is an example of how you photoshop someone to the point of making them look worse.

Ken said “She is young and hot but in those pics she looks like the winner of a hottest moms contest.” I agree.

Ken also pointed out the obvious photoshopping done – check out how the lines of the tile grouting aren’t straight when they go behind her legs.

My ontology, in no particular order (yet; I’m just putting it all down and will sort it out later):

• “Universe” is a word that we use to describe the set of everything that exists.
• “Existence” is a quality of of parts of the universe.
• “Existing” means that a part of the universe can be examined and has limitations, either in space or time or both – a beginning and an end – or is converted from, or into, something else.
• “Space” is a property of the universe and describes volume in 4 dimensions. Physical objects in the universe take up space. All events take place in space.
• “Time” is a property of the universe and describes continuity, stability and linear, past-to-future existence.
• Everything in the universe exists and has limitations. (This statement might be a circular statement, or a tautology, but what the hell. I’m not a philospher by trade.)
• The universe, being made up of things that exist, exists only as long as its parts exist. However, it’s impossible to say whether the universe as a whole has limitations in space and time, since space and time are properties of the universe. Parts of the whole do have limitations in space and time.

Disclaimer: I freely admit that this may not be original. I’m just setting down what my basic assumptions are, not giving credit for who originally did so. My apologies if this seems derivative.

…more to come later.

Feel free to add your comments.

I found out that Apple announced a World Wide exchange program for the batteries from the 15″ MacBook Pro.

Hey, I’ve got one of those… although they did already exchange the battery for me when it went in to the repair depot a couple of weeks ago. But when I read it, I decided to double-check the serial numbers to make sure I got one of the newer batteries.

My new sexy thing was plugged in, so I closed the lid, putting it to sleep. Then I flipped it over, and pulled out the battery. I was then going to flip it back over, open up the lid and wake it up from sleep. The webpage with the information on the recall World Wide exchange was still up on the screen.

However, the damned MagSafe power connector was not-so-MagSafe. It caught on the edge of the table and pulled off! If one were to pull it straight out from the power port, it takes a bit of effort to remove it. However, any tug at an angle and the damned thing comes right off, no problem.

(Adam and Jamie ran into the same problem when they tried to use magnets to climb a metal wall, by the way.)

AAACK! No battery + no power = shutdown! I hadn’t saved anything! Stoopid MagNot-So-Safe connector! I plugged it back in, and opened it up and tried to wake it from sleep the normal way (any key on the keyboard). No go. Sure enough, it’s shut down but good.

Wait, though… when I hit the power key to start it up, I got a different kind of progress bar, and no startup chime. Yay! It was waking from “Safe Sleep”! Safe Sleep brings me back to exactly where I was when I slept the computer, including any unsaved documents and open applications.

Primary lesson learned: Safe Sleep trumps MagNot-So-Safe connector.

Secondary lesson learned: Yeah… I already have one of the new batteries.

Got a chance to see a sneak preview of “Little Miss Sunshine” last night. Didn’t know much about the movie other than Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell were in it, and that it was a road movie. But, hey, free movie.

The showing was packed, which is always fun. The energy level of an audience can raise my own enjoyment of a flick. Unless I’m grumpy. But that’s so rare… Heh.

The movie is a road movie, but it’s also one of those dysfunctional family movies. The family’s 7-year-old, Olive, has managed to get into a beauty contest via default, and the whole family packs into their old VW bus to drive from Albuquerque to Redondo Beach in two days to be there on time.

Kinnear plays a hapless motivational speaker hoping for a book deal to make all his dreams come true; his wife, Sheryl, played by Toni Colette, wasn’t well-developed but was essentially the long-suffering type. Carell plays Frank, Sheryl’s gay, suicidal brother. Carell’s normally-blank, deadpan delivery works well in a darker mode, making Frank’s pain all the more evident in the humor he finds.

Alan Arkin plays the coke- and heroin-addicted grandfather, and the one who has worked with Olive on her presentation for the beauty pageant – which, once Arkin’s character is established, raises the looming specter of what on Earth he could have taught his 7-year-old granddaughter, a rising note of tension which resolution made for a laugh-out-loud conclusion.

Comedies thrive on conflict and this one is no exception. I think the directors, Jonathon Dayton and Valerie Faris, along with the writer Michael Arndt, did a great job of balancing the serious parts necessary to bring teh funny.

I recommend the movie.

I used to think that the worst thing to try to do while drunk was take my contact lenses out. Trying to get the motor control to successfully pull out tiny flexible pieces of plastic from my eyes without losing them or damaging them (either my contacts or my eyes) just seemed a near-impossible feat. So every time I’ve been successful has seemed like a little miracle.

Which is why, tonight, before I settled in with a good book, some Storm Large on the teevee, and my old pal Johnny Walker Red, I was smart enough to take my contacts out first.

By the way, Storm rocked the house hard. Of course.

But on my way to bed, my lack of recent vacuuming brought about a whole new level of excruciating.

I got a sliver in my big toe. Ow. Ow, ow. Owie.

Yeah, just try to take one of those out while buzzed.

Update

I did it! Yay, me! I’m king of the world!

I didn’t have a heart attack this weekend!

Although the doctor did say I should probably cut back on the caffeine.

Silly doctor.

Internet connection is broken at home. No word from Comcast beyond “We’re working on it.” Combine that with a lack of central air conditioning and an abundance of hot, muggy air, and that equals finding another place to be.

Unfortunately, the only free wireless that’s open late has a really annoying and loud folk-musician playing and he’s getting on my nerves. Folk music should not be loud and amplified, people. Or maybe I’m just irritated at the heat, tired from lack of sleep, and angry at not being able to surf at home away from all the frigging people. I can’t think and write in this atmosphere.

Well, at least it’s nice and cool. And eventually the loud-folk-guy will leave. Right? Right?

I have a story idea… And it’s all in my head but I’m not sure where to start writing.

Here’s the thing: it’s basically a mystery. I have a plot, a conspiracy to commit tax fraud and funnel pork into three unscrupulous pairs of hands. They share a connection to each other, but are keeping the connection secret in order to indulge in a little old-fashioned corruption. It’s all about the Benjamins for them, but then they get scared, go a little too far, and someone who may or may not have been investigating them gets murdered. It’s “ripped from the headlines”, as they say.

Unknowingly, a cynical semi-innocent guy finds out about the murder, and because of his background, starts turning over rocks to see what he can find out… and eventually uncovers the whole plot and brings it to light.

That’s the short version. Right now, I’m trying to decide if I should outline the plot and the characters involved first, then start writing at the point where the hero of the story first gets involved.

Or should I outline all the characters first, on both sides (pro- and an-tagonists)?

Or should I just start outlining the whole thing, and then once it’s all down in skeleton form, pick the best place to start writing and consider the rest “background”, to be filled in in detail as I need it?

Or should I screw all the planning and just start writing scenes and then string them together later when I’ve got some narrative flow going?

Every time I sit down to start one approach, I get so far, then start over-thinking like crazy and scrap it to go back and try one of the other approaches.

Dammit. I hate being all non-decide-y.

It was way too hot.

She stood there, proudly, defiantly. It was a pose and she did it with humor and grace.

“Women don’t sweat,” she said, and tossed back her hair from her face. “We glow.” She emphasized the curves of her body with her hands, still looking into the distance, chin-up. “I’m covered… in a sheen. I’m glowing – profusely!”

Me, with awe in my voice: “You’re… Sheena Profusely!“

She broke out of her proud attitude and laughed with me.

I continued, “Sheena Profusely! Wouldn’t that be an awesome porn name?”

I’ve posted about Backspace before. I love it. Well, I loved it. They’ve re-arranged things so now it’s much less cool than it was before.

For their Third Anniversary they moved all the couches into the back, to clear space for the live bands. And then they haven’t moved the couches back.

Having all those couches in the front, by the huge picture windows, was the best. Comfy couches, surfing, iced mochas, great music (take a look at what’s playing right now), and people-watching. There was no better place in Portland to hang out.

But with the couches in the back, around the pool tables… Scratch people-watching from the list because only the really really dorky people play pool. And they get all stupid when they do it, like thinking they’re some kind of fancy pool-playin’ fool and jumping the balls off the table.

…where they bounce into the comfy couches. Or, say, into an expensive laptop. Or even someone’s noggin.

Don’t worry. It hasn’t happened yet. My new sexy laptop and noggin are both safe. But I’ve had at least one near-miss already, and that makes me sad. I don’t want to think of Backspace as less cool. I want them to stay and remain the coolest place in town.

I sent them an email outlining my concerns, even offering to chip in for more couches, and Drew (at least I think it was Drew – he signed it “-d” which [warning: geek joke ahead] is the default switch for Drew-ness) responded and validated my concerns, agreeing that people are idiots when they play pool, and saying that they’re getting more couches. So, here’s a big Yay! to Backspace for listening to their customers!